I DREAM of you
by Jenny.Simone.Kate
Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*
1. A Shot In An Alley

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "I wish this was one of your books, so you could re-write the ending."  
But you can't change destiny ( what's already been written down ) - or can you? *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: **The idea behind this story belongs to my beloved sister** Serality**. She allowed me to use it for this story, but it is actually hers. **

We're going AU here, guys. So hold on for the ride. This story is set shortly before Castle and Beckett meet for the first time in the series, while Castle writes his last Derek Storm book. Martha lives in her own apartment and Beckett's hair is as long as in season 3, everything else is pretty much the same as you know it.

So, here's the first chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

_"You're everything my dreams have seen-_

_but what are dreams?"_

_(Enya - "Dreams" )_

**A shot in an alley**

He stands there, completely surrounded by darkness. No matter how many times he blinks his eyes, he doesn't see a thing. He slowly stumbles forward, his hands reaching out in front of him, searching for some sort of opposition, something to hang on to. But there's nothing.

He can hear muffled voices, coming from afar, something like "Police, stop!", but he isn't sure. Then he hears something that sounds like a gunshot and a woman scream.

Rick wakes up panting, his heart racing like he just ran a marathon. His whole body is covered in sweat and when he looks at the clock on his nightstand he decides that it is too late already to try to go back to sleep. Not that he could really sleep now.

He gets up, walks into the bathroom next door and takes a shower. When he feels the warm water cascading down his body, the tension from the nightmare slowly leaves his body. He lets out a long breath and shuts the water down.

When he comes into the kitchen to pour himself a coffee, he finds his daughter already there.

"Morning, Alexis." He greets her, putting a kiss to her hair. "Why are you up so early?"

"Da-ad. It's already 6 a.m. and I have to practice a little more for the physics test today." She answers, pointing to her books on the kitchen counter.

He smiles proudly at her, wondering for the hundredth time where she got her discipline from, and starts to make coffee. He sighs when the strong aroma of his expensive coffee hits his nose.

"Another one of those dreams?" she asks, looking intently at him.

"How can you always tell?"

"You've got a certain look when you've dreamt of her. And you're never up this early."

"I didn't dream of her exactly this time…" he says thoughtfully.

"Well, then what was it that made you wake up at 6am?"

"The dream was about her, but I didn't exactly see her this time. But I heard someone scream and I'm pretty sure it was her."

"Oh. That sounds awful. I'm sorry, dad." Alexis murmurs, touching his shoulder to provide a little comfort.

"It was just a nightmare, you know. Don't worry. And now I'll leave you to your studies. I'll be in my office writing a little. Come and say bye when you leave ok?" he reassures her and kisses the crown of her head.

"Of course, dad."

* * *

He walks down a street, passes by a clock that says 9:42p.m. and turns right into an alley. It's getting dark very quickly but he sees the sign of an Irish pub very clearly illuminated in a bright green. He walks down the alley and when he turns a corner suddenly all the lights go out. He hears people shouting and although he can barely see his hand before his eyes he makes a run for the direction the voices come from.

"NYPD. Freeze! Espo, Ryan, take this way, I'm following him."

He doesn't need to see the woman; he knows who this voice belongs to. It's her. And he can feel the familiar tingle in his stomach.

When he turns around another corner he stumbles over something and falls to the ground.

And when he looks up again he sees a man standing in the almost darkness waiting for _her_.

Suddenly he has a gun in his hand and is pointing it in the direction he just came from. And then she comes running around the corner, her weapon in her hand, but when she realizes what the man she's been chasing is up to, it is already too late.

Rick hears the shot and sees her stumble to the ground. She wasn't able to shoot back. The man with the gun makes his escape and Rick gets to his feet and runs to the unknown yet familiar woman only to find her in a pool of blood, staring him down with lifeless eyes.

He wakes up screaming.

"Dad! What's wrong? I just wanted to- Dad!" Alexis shouts, running to her father's side.

"Oh… Uhm…" Rick stutters confused, taking his surrounding in. He sits in his office, his coffee beside him, his laptop open and still lit; he could only have been sleeping for a few minutes. He feels relieved when he finds himself back in his warm and comfortable home instead of this cold, dark alley he saw just a few seconds ago.

"I was just about to say bye when I heard you… uhm… screaming."

"I… uh… I screamed?" he asks disbelievingly.

"Yeah… Another nightmare?"

"Sort of… I mean. Yes. I don't know… But you have to go to school now. Don't worry, I'm fine." He says, attempting his best smile.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, of course. Go, pumpkin. I'll just write a little more." He tries to convince her. It's not really working.

"Ok, dad. Take care. Bye."

"Bye. Have a good day."

* * *

"Richard, are you here?"

"In the kitchen, mother."

"Ah, thank God you're ok."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Alexis called me."

His face falls.

"I'm fine, really. I've been having these dreams for two years now. I've seen three different shrinks and have had dozens of MRIs. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine."

"Alexis and I are concerned about you, kiddo. She told me you were different this morning." Martha watches him critically as she lowers herself onto one of his barstools.

"The dream was different. It was much more vivid than the ones I usually have. It felt very, very real. Normally I know that I am dreaming, you know, but this time… I really thought it was real. I was quite confused when I woke up and..." he trails off.

"And?" she asks while putting her hand above his on the counter.

"Ah, I don't know, it's nothing." He shrugs her hand off and turns away.

"I can tell that there's something else, kiddo."

"She died." He admits quietly.

"Who died?"

"_She_."

"Oh…" Martha said surprised.

"Yeah. It was the first time I dreamt something like that. It was horrible. I was there in a dark alley with her. And suddenly there was a man with a gun and – And then she was lying there and – She was – She was… dead."

"That sounds awful…"

"Well, maybe it really is just my overactive imagination. It did help me write some pretty amazing books, after all." He smirked.

"Just… Promise me you will see this doctor on a regular basis."

"I have another appointment already set up, mother. Don't worry."

"Ok, fine. I have an audition now. See you tonight for dinner?"

"Yeah, just come over, I'll cook something nice for the three of us."

"Sounds like a plan. Bye kiddo."

Martha turns on her heels and leaves her son's loft again.

And the smile on Rick's face falls again.

He has a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and despite his best efforts he hasn't been able to shake it off yet.

It feels as if there has formed a knot in his chest that makes it hard for him to breathe. Something has _changed._ And he cannot forget the thought that formed and stayed in his mind.

This wasn't just a _dream_.

And suddenly he feels an urge inside himself, something he can't control. He must do something. What if… What if this is real?

He shakes his head. You're getting insane, Rick. Get a grip.

But those two little words remain in his mind and he literally hears them over and over in his head.

_What if_…

* * *

His sits on his laptop and tries to kill Derek Storm. But despite his best efforts and the deadline he has to fulfil – Gina threatened him again with taking his advance back – he cannot concentrate. His mind wanders back again to _her _again. To her lifeless body in the dark alley. He knows that he's being ridiculous, but after all these years he's feels as if he knows her. And although he just sees little glimpses of her in his dreams and only remembers them vaguely, this last dream was so very different. He saw her so clearly before him, her dead green eyes and her auburn locks red with her blood.

She's become so much a part of his life over the years that he just can't help himself.

He does a web search on female NYPD members, but gives up soon. He doesn't even know her rank. She could be any of these women he found on one of the illegal sites, and there aren't even pictures.

He lets himself fall back into his office chair and growls in frustration when his eyes fall on the clock.

Getting up and hurrying into the kitchen, he starts to prepare dinner. He completely forgot about lunch. This whole day went by so fast and the feeling in his stomach only got worse.

What if?

What if he turns the TV on the next morning and sees her there? What if he sees the report about the death of an NYPD officer with green eyes and brown hair? He couldn't live with that.

* * *

He's very quiet during dinner, but if his daughter and mother notice it, they don't let it on. They just tell him all the time how delicious the food is, but he doesn't taste anything. It's seems as if the colours have vanished, everything is just grey and without smell or taste.

When his mother leaves to go home to her flat and Alexis goes upstairs to read a little he finds himself back at his laptop, although his eyes burn from sitting in front of it the whole day.

And then it strikes him. The pub.

Excitement rushes through his body when he realises that he has seen it before. And because she belongs to the NYPD it must have be here in New York. _If all of this_ _should be real_ he reminds himself. But he can't help himself. He's always believed in aliens, leprechauns, time travel, psychics and magic. Why should he make an exception now? It _could_ be real after all. And because his dreams don't feel like dreams anymore, he has to be sure.

And there's only one way to find out.

When he sees the picture of the third Irish pub he looks up his body feels too hot and too cold at the same time. It's the Irish pub from his dream.

He doesn't think twice or waste another minute. Grabbing his jacket from a chair, he runs out of his door and presses the button for the elevator multiple times. He checks his watch.

9:14

Shit. Although the pub is only a few blocks away, the time is running away from him. He doesn't even know if it happens today, but he has to make it there before 9:42.

He just has to.

* * *

He runs without seeing much of his surroundings. The only thing he sees is the green light at the far end of the street. He breathes hard and the only thing he hears is the pounding of his heart in his ears. His lungs burn and his legs ache so hard but he can't stop. He has to make it in time.

He hurries past the clock that already says 9:41. Shit. Shit shit shit. He's gonna be late.

He leaves the green light of the pub behind and speeds his steps even more, sprints down the alley past the disgusting smell of the rubbish bins standing there and reaches the familiar corner, when suddenly the lights go out. It's all there, just like in his dream. The realization takes his breath away and he comes to a sudden stop.

It's real.

And then he hears her voice. He has to hurry, but can't seem to move.

She's really there. She's _real_. When he turns around the next corner he's going to face her.

The woman of his dreams.

And she's in danger. He has to – But he can't –

He cannot even think of all the consequences this might have. But if he doesn't go there and does something, _anything_, she will die.

And so he runs.

There is the man with the gun and Rick just barely avoids the empty can he stumbled upon in his dream. He remembered this little detail just in time, but he runs too fast now and he can't seem to stop and suddenly he finds himself beside her. She's really there.

And even more beautiful than in his dreams.

Her bright green eyes look bewildered at him speeding towards her.

Then he hears the shot.


	2. When The Bell Rings Twice

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "I wish this was one of your books, so you could re-write the ending."  
But you can't change destiny ( what's already been written down ) - or can you? *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC. Paul is mine, though.

**A/N**: I had to change the title, just in case you wondered.

I have also edited the first chapter now, to correct my mistakes and to put some more feelings and depth into it. If you like, reread it, it's much better now. But it doesn't really matter for the plot if you don't.

**A very special THANK YOU goes to my beta **arkem**. You're amazing and this story wouldn't be the same without you.**

So, here's the second chapter. I know it's quite dark and angsty, but I can assure you that we get to a brighter place eventually, if you stick with me.

* * *

_"__I'm walking where my dreams have been._

_But what are dreams?"_

_( Enya - "Dreams" )_

**When The Bell Rings Twice**

"Rick, what's wrong? What are you doing here this late?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course," Paul says, ushering his friend into his generous apartment. "What the hell happened to you? You look as if you've seen a ghost."

"Well, that's actually not so far from the truth. God, I can't believe it myself…" he groans, letting himself fall onto the couch. "I told you about my dreams over the last two years, remember?"

"Yes, you said that you constantly dream of a beautiful woman with green eyes and brown hair," Paul recalls, "And by the way you talked about her, you seem pretty much smitten."

"Please. I am not smitten. But anyway, I dreamed of her this morning again and… It wasn't just a dream…" he whispers.

"What? I don't underst-"

"Paul, you have to promise me that you do not even tell _anybody_ what I am now telling you! Not Alexis or my mother, and especially not Paula or Gina. _Nobody_. Do you promise me?"

"Rick I… What is this all about?"

"Do you promise me?" he asks again with more force in his voice.

"Yes, you've got my word."

"Ok," Rick takes a deep breath. "What I see… I mean, when I seem to dream of her… These aren't just dreams, Paul. It's real. She's real."

"She's real?" Paul asks disbelievingly. "Rick, I know you for over 20 years now, but this story is one of your best," he chuckles.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me."

"Then why did you tell me?"

"Because I didn't know who else to tell. You know me, Paul, better than any of my other so-called friends. I cannot tell this to my mother or Alexis. They'd worry too much. Hell, I don't know how this is even possible. But I assure you, Paul. It's real. I don't know what is happening to me here, or why it is happening, but I'm telling you… It's real!"

"How can you know that?"

"Because I saw her about half an hour ago."

"You saw her?"

"Yeah. I um… I kind of saved her life…" he states quietly.

"You what? Wait a moment, Rick. I… I think we both need a drink now. And then you have to tell me what exactly happened."

Rick accepts the whiskey gratefully and tells Paul everything about the dream he had that morning as well as that feeling he got in his stomach and the assumption that this was something more than just a dream. He tells him about the sudden urge to find out more, about finding the pub and about being there when his dream happened in the exact same way he saw it that morning.

"And then I stood there and I knew that if I didn't do something she would die. And Paul, I just couldn't help myself. I ran around the corner and then she was right there and I couldn't stop anymore and crushed into her and we both tumbled to the ground. That was when the other man fired his gun. It missed us by inches, but it missed us."

"And what did she say?"

"Before I could realise what happened, I was already standing again and running away," Rick admits quietly.

"You didn't talk to her?"

"No. I freaked out. My _dream_ had just become _reality, _Paul. I just found out that the woman I see almost every night actually _exists_ out there. And what could I have told her? That I was dreaming of her for two years and saw this morning that she would get shot and I came to save her?"

"Yeah, well, this sounds really a little… well… not too – ah, convincing." Paul struggles with the words. Rick can see it in his eyes that his friend doesn't quite believe him and how could he blame him? He can barely believe it himself. Rick is just grateful that Paul tries to not let it on too much.

"Right? So I left, before she could react properly. She was safe after all, so… I left."

"Ok, Rick. Let's just… sleep on it, ok? This is really…" Paul struggles with the words.

"Yeah… It is…"

A long silence follows after this conversation, both lacking the words, but their long friendship helps them to understand what the other one wants to say nevertheless. They spent so much time together before Rick's success and know each other by heart. Sometimes they have the comforting feeling of being like brothers, because – although neither of them has siblings – the connection is there.

"Does Alexis know where you are?" Paul asks suddenly.

"Oh shit, I didn't have time to tell her. I really have to go now. Thank you, Paul."

"For what?"

"Listening to me."

* * *

When he comes back home the loft is dark, except for the light he left burning in his study.

And no sign of Alexis.

He sighs in relief, she apparently hadn't even noticed that he was gone for about two hours.

He makes his way up the stairs to her room, knocking lightly on her door. When she doesn't answer he opens it slowly, just a crack, just enough to tentatively look inside.

And there she is, lying awkwardly on her bed, her schoolbooks surrounding her. He puts them aside and helps her to lie down in a more comfortable position; she's sound asleep and doesn't even stir.

When he puts the blanket over her body he can't help the bright smile forming in his face. It feels a lot like those days when she was still little, when he tucked her in after she fell asleep on his lap in front of the TV.

His little, big girl.

He kisses the crown of her head, her soft red hair tickling his nose, and leaves her room with a last look back on her.

He's a happy man. Despite all these strange dreams and the latest nightmares – not to mention the absolutely surreal experience he had this evening – he's such a happy man.

He descends the stairs again, goes into the kitchen to pour himself a drink. A strong one.

He takes the glass with him into his bedroom and sits down on his comfy king-size bed with a long sigh.

It doesn't make any sense. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot think of a logical explanation for the things happening around him. _To _him.

If he could write such a story, it would be magic. There would be some reason behind all this, a reason why he always dreams of this woman and why he was thus able to save her life.

And maybe there is. Maybe he just has to find it.

* * *

When Rick wakes the next morning something feels off. He cannot really put a finger on it, but something just feels wrong.

Since he can't quite grasp the mess currently ruling his thoughts, Rick tries to distract himself with his morning routine – a shower, a shave, a fresh shirt and shorts – before heading to the kitchen for breakfast and his first dose of coffee.

Still feeling sleepy, he rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand and squints at the digital clock on his oven. Half past 7.

Hmm, Alexis must have left for school early this morning.

After the first few sips of the strong, dark liquid he opens his eyes a little more and finds a note from his daughter that says that she has lindeed already eft for school and didn't want to wake him.

Reassured, he puts the note aside to grab a pan and get some eggs and bacon out of his enormous fridge. After setting the stainless steel pan on top of the stove and leaving his eggs to fry, his thoughts are drifting away.

To her.

She's always on his mind, especially since the events of yesterday. He wonders why he didn't have the courage to talk to her. But it wasn't a conscious decision, he just ran away without thinking about it. He just panicked, looking into her wondering eyes, smelling the faint scent of cherries that surrounded her, feeling her hand on his arm. He's seen her so often, but to actually smell and _feel_ her was something so completely new, so world-shifting for him that his first instinct was to back away, to sort it out on his own.

He didn't and still doesn't even know what to say to her. He is a best-selling author, a famous mystery writer – and he just can't find words to explain what is happening.

And while he is able to believe in a higher power, in fate and _magic, _who could tell if she would believe in this?

If she would believe _him_.

Or if she would just freak out and put him behind bars. Or call a psychiatrist. And then the press would–

Oh God. His career would be over. He has to be careful. But if her life depends on him…

Her life– her–

"Shit!" he exclaims when he smells and sees that the eggs are completely burned. He puts the pan into the sink and hurries to open a window.

And suddenly he knows it. He knows what feels off this morning. He dreamt of her again, but he cannot remember what the dream was about and just the realisation of this is enough to freak him out.

Was it because he had a drink too much last night? How is it that he can recall seeing her face, but doesn't remember another single thing from that dream?

He grabs his phone and calls his friend.

"Hi Rick, what's up?"

"Paul, I need to talk to you, do you have minute?"

"Hey hey, what's wrong, buddy?"

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah, for the moment."

"I… I don't know why this freaks me out so much, but I… I can't remember my dream of her last night."

"Of whom?"

"Of _her_…" Rick sighs. He cannot understand why people always had to ask. Why didn't they know it from the way he says it? She is so important to him, so much part of his life; why don't they understand that?

"So? Maybe it's over, Rick. Maybe you're free now after saving her life yesterday."

"Yeah, maybe…" Rick murmurs.

"That's great news, why do you sound so depressed? Look, Rick, just look at it like a mission you've fulfilled. You saved her. Now you can move on."

"Yeah, that could be."

"You don't want to let her go, right?"

"What? No, no, that's fine. Please, I don't even know her."

"You said it, pal. I've got to go now. Bye."

Then the line went dead.

Rick sinks down on one of the bar stools at his kitchen island.

Shit. Paul was right. He doesn't want to let her go. But maybe it was better this way. Maybe it was time to move on.

* * *

He is surrounded by darkness again. And the familiar feeling of dreaming is back.

And just like the first time he stumbles forward, searching for something to hold on to, but there's nothing there.

He can hear her speaking again and slowly moves in the direction of where her voice comes from.

"… Why here… I'm alone… my mom's case…"

He only hears a few words; she's just too far away. It doesn't make any sense.

And then he hears her scream, telling somebody to let her go, that she has back-up. But no one comes. He can hear her muffled cries as well as the sound of footsteps from a single person walking away from him. From her.

He has to do something, he has to help her, but he can't see a fucking thing and he doesn't know where to go. And then he hears a crash and there's no sound of her anymore.

He wakes up in his kitchen; his head must've fallen onto the counter, because he feels a sharp pain on the right side of his face.

Seems like Paul was wrong. His mission wasn't over yet. The menace wasn't gone and she was still in life-threatening danger.

Oh no! How the hell was he supposed to find her?

Ok, ok, there had to be a way. Her voice and the steps of her murderer sounded hollow – as if they were in a huge and empty building. But that was it. He doesn't have any more leads. And he still doesn't have a clue who she is. Is this another case? Another suspect that gets her killed? But why now? Why is she in such danger now?

He realizes that all these questions don't bring him any closer to the truth, so he decides to go to bed and try to sleep. He has to dream again, has to go there again. Maybe he'll find out more then. He just has to.

* * *

He tosses and turns in his bed, frustrated and frightened, but it is all in vain. He cannot sleep. He's wide awake, adrenaline rushing through his body and the fear of losing her – of not being able to save her – is the only thing he can think of. He doesn't even know her, but he feels a connection to her that he cannot explain – even to himself. She depends on him and he is letting her down.

He has to find a way.

There was a text from Alexis earlier that said she would stay at Tracy's over night to study and watch a movie. It was fine with him; he didn't want her to see him like this anyway. She knows him too well; she'd figure out immediately that there was something terribly wrong with him and he just didn't want to explain it to her.

But what was he supposed to do now? What if it was already too late?

He decides to take matters into his own hands now and goes into the bathroom to his medicine cabinet. He pulls out one of those little blue pills his mother left there and gulps it down with a little water.

He really hopes that this will work now. And when he lowers himself down onto his bed again, he already feels his body getting heavy and his brain a little clouded. Those little pills seem to be stronger than they look.

The last thing on his mind is her.

* * *

He feels as if he's drunk, his whole vision is blurred.

He finds himself in front of a huge warehouse. It's dark around him, only the dim light of a street lamp lets him see something. There's a small street and some more warehouses around him, but the whole place is empty and silent. No car, no other human being.

But he can barely see a thing, it all just swims before his eyes. It has to be the effect of the sleeping pill, he thinks, and heavily regrets having taken one. On the other hand it actually did work and he _is_ dreaming again. So he may be able to save her after all.

He tries to walk towards the empty, dark warehouse, but he can barely set one foot before the other. He sways so much he almost falls down on the concrete. But he has to find out what's happening in there, from what he has to save her.

When he enters the building he hears a bell ring, some old long-case clock long forgotten in a dark corner, he supposes.

DING

DING

Two times, that means it must be two o'clock. What the hell is she doing here, alone, in the middle of the night? He doesn't get it.

He moves forward, walks down a long corridor until he reaches a huge room. He freezes when he hears her anger filled voice.

"No, you tell me now what you know about my mom's case! No more games, or I'll arrest you and you can spend the night with a drug addict on withdrawal. This is your last chance," she spits out.

But her counterpart only laughs darkly. The rough voice of this man sends a shiver through Rick's spine when he tells the woman of his dreams that he was never supposed to tell her anything, that he doesn't even know what she is talking about.

And suddenly he hears her scream.

But the sleeping pill prevents him from running to her; he just stumbles to the ground and can barely move.

He only hears her muffled cries; the men must've gagged her. He remembers that she said something about back-up, but there's still no one in sight. He manages to get onto his hands and knees and crawls forward, fights the dizziness in his head. He has to see what happens, what he has to prevent. Just a few inches more and he could see them, but he just can't–

"You can give up now, poor thing. No one will find you here. And if they do find you, they will think it was a terrible, terrible accident. It's a pity; you're such a gorgeous thing…"

Rick can't take it anymore. He needs to move. Although he doesn't really want to see what the man has planned to do to her, he has to know. And then he'll come here and save her and everything will be fine again.

He inches forward and then he can see her, lying on the ground, bound at her hands and feet, gagged, and trying desperately to free herself. The man is only a dark figure who walks over to the right to a long rope that turns upwards to the ceiling of the building, vanishing in the darkness. He cuts it loose with a knife and Rick can only watch when a huge pulley with a ton of chains crashes down – right onto her.

His vision is still blurred – and for the first time he's thankful for that – but he can see the red pool forming around her shattered body which is completely buried under all these thick chains.

The man who killed her walks away calmly and Rick's vision goes black.

He wakes up when he falls off his bed onto his left arm. It hurts like hell, but the only thing he can think of is her, lying on the ground tied up and gagged, waiting for death to come and take her.

Does this stupid son of a bitch really believe this would look like an accident? Rick shakes his head and winces, the effect of sleeping pill hasn't completely faded yet and his head spins. That really had been a bad idea.

He stumbles into his bathroom and splashes some cold water onto his face until he can see clearly again and looks up into the mirror. He looks awful, barely recognizable.

But one question remains, even after he dreamt again – how the hell is he supposed to find her?

He slowly makes his way back into his bedroom and moves forward to his study, reaching for his laptop.

When he opens it and his eyes fall to the little clock in the right corner of his monitor, his heart skips a beat.

He doesn't even know where the hell she could be and it's already half past one in the morning.

He slept almost the whole day and now there is no chance of finding her in time.

He's too late. He can't save her this time.


	3. When The Bell Rings Twice Part II

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "I wish this was one of your books, so you could re-write the ending."  
But you can't change destiny ( what's already been written down ) - or can you? *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

**A/N**: Here's part two of "When The Bell Rings Twice". Enjoy!

_"__I'm walking where my dreams have been._

_But what are dreams?"_

_( Enya - "Dreams" )_

* * *

**When The Bell Rings Twice **Part II

He runs down the long dark road. It must be somewhere around here, he's sure of that. The knot in his stomach tightens and he feels as if the world has swallowed him, chewed him and spat him out again. Sweat is running down his neck and the crisp night air burns in his lungs. The whole place is frightening, but he has to find a way to get to her. He can't let her die here, all alone and in this awful way.

When he thinks it's all in vain after running around for what felt like hours, he suddenly finds himself right in front of the huge warehouse. He recognises it immediately.

It's so dark – only the dim light of a street lamp lets him see a little – but he knows it's the right one. He can feel she's in there.

He hurries towards the empty, dark building, his heart pounding so loud in his chest that he fears it could give him away. Adrenaline rushes through his veins and his whole body trembles, but he urges himself forward. To her.

When he gets into the building he hears a bell ring. He comes to a sudden halt and waits silently in the darkness.

DING

DING

He anxiously awaits another sound, but it doesn't come. And despite the panic that spreads through his system, he could perform a happy dance right here. It's two o'clock – he isn't too late! He is still able to save her.

He speeds forward, running down the familiar, long corridor until he reaches the huge room where she's standing with the man who is going to kill her.

"… -you see I came alone. Now tell me what you know." The beautiful brunette demands.

"Put your gun away first." Her counterpart commands. He's standing in the dark and Rick can only make out a shadowy figure.

"Not gonna happen. "

"Then I've got nothing for you." The mystery man turns to leave.

Should it be so easy? Could she just walk away and be safe now, without him having to rescue her? He lets out a sigh of relief and backs out a few steps. But when he hears her speak again all his hopes for an easy escape crumble to the ground.

"No, you tell me now what you know about my mum's case! No more games, or I'll arrest you and you can spend the night with a drug addict on withdrawal. This is your last chance."

Oh no! Why couldn't she leave it alone? Why couldn't she just have walked away?

The shadowy figure laughs darkly.

"I was never supposed to tell you anything, I don't even know what this is all about. I'm only here – ", the man makes a long pause and suddenly he takes two huge steps to the woman Rick wants to save so desperately, is at her side and knees her in the guts before she can even fire her gun. Rick can hear her scream as her weapon flies through the air and lands in a dark corner. The villain stands beside her and points a weapon to her head.

"I'm only here – – to take you down." The S.O.B. grunts, panting.

Rick can only stand there and watch the woman of his dreams get gagged and tied up, cannot even move when he hears her muffled cries. He doesn't know what it is, maybe shock, but his body won't move and inch. Not even his little finger. He stands there, glued on the spot, eyes wide open in terror when the events, he already saw, happen right there – in his reach – but he is damned to watch, by his stupid body that feels so heavy and completely numb.

Just before she dies his vision goes black.

He wakes up with his eyes already open, staring into the dark night. He gasps when he feels the sharp pain in his left ankle; he must've knocked it against something.

Why does he always end up hurting after having those nightmares?

He chuckles darkly at the analogy. He's hurting emotionally as well.

And then it hits him. He dreamt the same scene again. A short glance at the illuminated clock on his writing desk tells him it's little after 5 a.m.

But –

She ought to be dead by now. He was too late. He couldn't think of a way to find her. He spent two hours pacing around his study thinking of a way to rescue her, doing endless web searches and finally giving to the knowledge that she must already lying out there somewhere, crushed and all alone.

He must've fallen asleep in his office chair. And he saw her again. Which could only mean one thing: It hasn't happened yet. This horror scenario was yet to come, another night. She was still alive.

There was still time.

He lets himself fall back into his chair, so relived he might cry. He feels as if a whole mountain rage has been lifted from his shoulders, from his heart.

There was still time.

He'd been given another chance.

* * *

After a quick lunch with Alexis, he leaves his loft, telling her he wants to do some research for his book. He spends the next hours driving through industrial estates outside New York instead, scanning all the areas for the empty warehouse his dreams had shown him.

No such luck.

It's already way past midnight and he realises that it's been too big of a task for him to drive out here into the blue. But he couldn't think of another way. All those web searches were in vain and he thought if he drove all day he'd find something. He'd only stopped now and then to eat or to use the bathroom.

He was tired of driving and felt so damn hopeless and frustrated. His back and his legs hurt from sitting in his car since the early afternoon and his eyes are red and puffy, burning like hell.

He closes them and sends a desperate wish for help out into the night.

Starting the engine of his car again, he decides that he cannot drive home now anyway; it would kill him not to have tried everything in his power to save her. So he drives down the street and turns to the right at the next crossroads. Just a few miles later a sigh of relief escapes his dry lips. He knows these warehouses. He's in the right place, he must be almost there and – there it is! The warehouse from his dream. He found it. It's a miracle, a freaking miracle, but it's there – right before his eyes. He made it and there's still more than an hour left.

Enough time to prepare some things and call for help.

* * *

He parked his car a couple of blocks down the street, so as not to bring any undue attention upon himself. The baseball bat lies right beside him and he pulled over a long, black coat, a black bobble cap and dark gloves. He planned on surprising the bad guy and taking him down even before the woman of his dreams would even show up. But the mystery man is nowhere to be seen.

He feels the dumb blow on his head right when she enters the building.

When he comes to his senses again his head hurts and his hands are tied behind his back. So much for surprising the other man. He tastes blood on his tongue and his head spins, but his ties are loose enough to get rid of them quickly. Either this jackass thought he was dead or he is just stupid.

"Amateur." Ricks mutters under his breath and stands up slowly. The man had left him lying unconscious right behind those euro pallets where he was hiding, in a dark corner of the huge room. Apparently he didn't have the time to get him away from there and would come for him later, after he fulfilled his mission to take this gorgeous woman down.

Thank God he woke up again right now; the blow mustn't have been too hard. He can hear the woman of his dreams scream and knows immediately that he's got only moments left.

The jackass is too engaged in tying up the woman Rick sees every night to hear him coming from behind. Putting his cap back in place on his head and gripping the baseball bat so firmly his fingers hurt, he speeds his steps when the man he needs to eliminate raises the knife to cut the rope.

With a yell Rick crashes the baseball bat down onto the other man's head, but the knife has ripped the rope a little and it dangles precariously. Rick kicks the gun away, takes the knife of the unconscious man and falters forward, his heartbeat too loud in his ears. He reaches for the tied up woman, who struggles hard against her bonds, groaning through the gag in her mouth.

"It's ok, it's ok. I'll help you." He grits out, removing her gag gently and pulling her away from under the hazard as quick as he can.

But the rope breaks and the pulley with all those chains crash down with a deafening noise.

When the ringing in Rick's ears subsides, he hears her screaming. He's got them far enough away that the pulley missed them, but one of the huge chains landed directly on her lower leg.

His eyes are wide in shock, but he tries not to listen to her cries and removes the chain carefully. Her jeans are already soaked in blood.

"Shit!" Rick exclaims, panic spreading through his system again.

He takes the knife to cut her bonds and takes one of them to secure her leg to prevent too much blood loss.

"What... are you doing... here? Who the hell... are you?" she asks weakly, her eyes barely open.

Rick's eyes fall onto a syringe, lying a few inches away. The man who wanted to kill her must've drugged her after he tied her up.

He hurries to stand up again and shackles the unconscious man to prevent him from following them when he wakes up, then he tries to call for help again.

"Smith here, I called earlier to inform you and your colleagues about a murder that would take place, but you didn't take me seriously. We need an ambulance here now, a woman with an injured leg. She's losing blood, please come quick – "

He can hear the man laugh on the other end and another one asking 'This jackass again?'.

"Listen to me, sir. You are going to be liable to prosecution, if you don't stop your jokes. This is a police station and – "

"I am serious, God dammit! You have to –", Rick shouts, but the line is dead already.

Shit, shit, shit!

A moan from the woman next to him brings him back to the here and now.

She's so very pale and shivering hard. But even in this state she takes his breath away. He realises once again how stunningly beautiful she is. But it wasn't the time for such thoughts now; he has to get her out of here and into a hospital as soon as possible.

Ignoring the excruciating pain in his head, he pulls her up into his arms, carrying her bridal-style out of the warehouse. He can feel her weight in his arms and against his chest, the cherry-scented smell from her hair intoxicating so close to his nose.

She's going to be ok, she's going to be ok, he repeats in his head while he hurries down the road towards his car.


	4. Blood On His Shirt

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "I wish this was one of your books, so you could rewrite the ending." But you can't change destiny – what's already been written down – can you? *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: I wanted to thank you all for your lovely reviews. They're really appreciated and mean the world to me!

And you should really check out "Dreams" by Enya on youtube. It's one of the most wonderful songs she ever made.

* * *

_Can I believe these spells I feel?_

_I'm wary now._

_Can I believe, or is this real?_

_I'm wary now._

_(Enya – "Dreams")_

* * *

__**Blood On His Shirt  
**

_Previously: Ignoring the excruciating pain in his head, he pulls her up into his arms, carrying her bridal-style out of the warehouse. He can feel her weight in his arms and against his chest, the cherry-scented smell from her hair intoxicating so close to his nose. _

_She's going to be ok, she's going to be ok, he repeats in his head while he hurries down the road towards his car._

"Come on, please, stay with me. We're almost there..." he pleads with the unknown yet familiar woman.

But she just moans in the car-seat next to him, her eyes barely open and the blood dropping from her leg onto the mat in the foot well of his car. She shivers hard and her face is grey and wet with cold sweat.

She doesn't look good. She doesn't look good at all. What the hell has this S.O.B injected into her? He just hopes that she isn't poisoned. Please don't let her be poisoned.

He parks right in front of the first hospital his navigation system led him to. Shouting for help, he lifts her out of his car and runs towards the building. Two men clothed in scrubs meet him right before the entrance and take her from him to lower her onto the stretcher they brought with them.

"We've got her now, Sir. Please step back. We've got her." One of the men tells him.

"No, please, you have to save her. Please, someone has injected her some drug or a sedative or whatever... And a huge chain fell onto her leg from about 5 metre's high –"

"Ok. We take over here, Sir. Are you her husband or another relative?"

"No... I... uhm... I just found her..."

"Then please move away now and let us do our job."

Rick stops in his tracks and takes at deep breath when he sees her being raced away from him. He feels so damn hopeless and when she is finally out of sight he can't help but feel that something from him has gone with her. He's ridiculous, but no matter how often he repeats it in his head, he cannot shake off this feeling. He longs to run after her, to hold her in his arms once more and be near to her again. To ensure that she's going to be ok.

But he can only stand there in front of the hospital building and stare into the night, feeling forlorn and completely out of place.

After another ten minutes he finally decides that he's of no use here and moves slowly back to his car. He cannot block the entrance to the hospital any longer anyway.

When he gets into his car, he can smell her blood. It makes his insides churn and he has to swallow the acid that rises in his throat. He drives a few miles but can't stand it any longer, gets out of the car again to take a gulp of fresh air. He rounds the vehicle and takes the foot mat from the passenger side out, holding it at arm's length and throws it into his trunk. For now.

He doesn't have the nerve to deal with it at the moment. He just wants to go home, take a long shower and crawl into bed. And tomorrow he has to find a way to make sure she's ok.

* * *

He wakes slowly when the sun shines through the blinds and the rays find his face.

It's a bright day, but he feels as if there is a tight knot in his stomach. Something's wrong, really really wrong. He jumps out of his bed, slips into his shoes, pulls over his coat in a hurry, and runs out the door of his loft. What is wrong with him that he always feels the need to run out of here?

But he is helpless against the urge deep down inside him that pushes him forward, down the stairs and out of the building.

He races down the street, panic filling his chest and he doesn't even know where he's heading or why, he just runs as if his life would depend on it. Or someone else's.

He doesn't even know where he is right now, but he can hear the truck behind him on the street. Before his eyes is a huge crossroad and suddenly he sees her.

She is standing just a few metres away on a red light, a light grey coat hugging her form, her wonderful auburn locks cascading down her shoulders and her back, coffee in hand.

Interesting. He knows the shop she got the coffee from and takes a mental note. Could be useful someday.

She suddenly turns around and looks at him. He stops in his tracks, standing immoveable, as if in shock. When her eyes meet his he feels a stoke running through his body and all his nerves are on fire. He can't even look away, loses himself in the green depth of her mesmerizing eyes.

She looks down again, her cheeks reddening a little as if she's embarrassed.

And then he's sitting wide awake in his bed.

He looks around, taking his bedroom in, but he doesn't understand.

He was –

He –

It doesn't make any sense. He must've dreamt again, of her. But – she didn't die. She just stood there, smiling at him, hypnotizing him with her bright and shiny eyes... And yet it felt so real. As if he'd really been there with her and she'd really seen him.

This was a new level of weirdness. Even for him.

* * *

"Paul, open up. It's me, Rick. Are you there?" Rick shouts while he hammers his fist against his friend's apartment door.

But when the door opens a foreign man stands in front of him. He doesn't greet him or say a word, he just moves past a stunned Rick and leaves him standing before the open door.

"Paul? Are you in there?"

"Rick, my friend. What are you doing here? I did not expect you –"

"Who was this guy, Paul? He looked... dangerous. Are you in trouble?" Rick interrupts his friend.

"No. No, I'm fine. He's nobody you know. So... What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" Paul asks, with an unsure hint in his eyes.

"I did it again." Rick states and lets himself fall on his friend's couch. He's in exactly the same spot as three days ago. Huh. That's one hell of a déjà-vu.

"You did what again?" Paul asks, visibly impatient.

"Saved her. I saved her again. I brought her to a hospital last night, she was wounded and drugged and I don't know how she is, but the hospital won't give me any information because I don't even know her name and –"

"Rick, Rick, Rick, take a breath, ok? I don't understand a thing. What do you want me to do here anyway?"

"Can't you call in a favour or something like that? I really need to know –", he lets out a long sigh, "– if she's ok."

"I can't do that, Rick. Not without rising some suspicion. Do you even know what you've gotten yourself into by taking her to a hospital? What if somebody saw you? What if she recognised you? You're a best-selling novelist. Hell, Rick! You need to stop here. Stay away from her or you'll ruin your career."

"Who are you, my agent? Paul, I need your help here. You're my friend, you're supposed –"

"Don't you tell me what I am supposed to do, Rick." Paul's voice sounds more and more like a thread. What the hell was going on here?

"I am your friend." Paul says with softened voice after he sees Rick's surprised face. "But I can't help you here. Leave it alone."

"I can't. How am I supposed to leave it – _her_ – alone? I see her every damn night. And I saw her die. How the hell am I supposed to let that happen when I'm able to save her?" Rick asks disbelievingly.

"Maybe you shouldn't save her at all. Did you ever think about the fact that some things are supposed to happen? That there's a higher force and that some things are inevitable? Maybe it's her fate to –"

"Don't!" Rick shouts. "Don't you dare say it! You don't know what this feels like Paul. You have no freaking idea. I can't let her die. Not now that I know that she exists and that I am the only one who is able to save her. I..." he buries his face in his hands. Why does nobody understand how he feels?

"You're going to ruin your life, Rick. Jeez, you took her to a hospital. They're probably already looking for you for a statement about how and where you found her! How are you going to explain that? Or that you ran away?"

Shit. He didn't even think of that. But it doesn't even matter right now. His mind is set.

"I'll continue this. With or without you."

"Then you have to continue without me. I'm out."

"Well then so be it." Rick answers and leaves his friend's flat without another word.

* * *

Rick wanders through Central Park to clear his mind. But he soon realises that it's hopeless. His head throbs from all the thinking and he closes his eyes for a moment against the already bright morning sun. His stomach grumbles soundly and remembers him that he didn't have eaten something yet.

He left his loft in a hurry, like in his dream.

And then it strikes him. He takes out his phone from his pocket and sees that it's still shut off from the evening before when he waited for the man who wanted to kill the woman of his dreams in that dark warehouse. It feels like ages ago.

He hurries to switch his phone back on to call Alexis. She must be up already and worried why isn't home.

Shit. He's already got 5 missed calls and a dozen messages from her. He hits speed dial and prepares an apology.

"Dad! Where are you? Did you even come home last night? Did something happen to you? I –" her slightly hysteric voice greets him.

"Everything's fine, pumpkin. I'm good. I'm sorry that I didn't leave a note for you. I wasn't thinking. I'm coming home now and I'll explain everything."

"It better be a damn good explanation. I was worried sick about you."

"You know that's my job, right?" Rick asks with a smile. He definitely doesn't feel like the parent in this relationship.

When he walks through the door of his home Alexis runs into his arms, sobbing.

"Hey, Pumpkin. What's wrong?"

"Are you—Are you hurt dad? What the hell happened?"

"No, I'm perfectly fine. What are you talking about?"

"I saw the blood on your shirt in the laundry room."

Shit. He completely forgot about that. He wanted to throw it away. Together with the foot mat in his trunk. Damn.

"It's not my blood, Alexis." He murmurs, hugging her tightly.

"But—"

"I'll explain everything. Come, let's sit down and have some breakfast. It's still early and I'm starving."

* * *

Rick sits in his living room and reads the newspaper. Sweat is running down his neck and he isn't sure if the breakfast will stay in his stomach much longer. His daughter is upstairs now, packing some things and he will take her to the airport in about an hour. A long weekend is ahead after all and a trip to her mother will do her good. He doesn't want to have her around at the moment, seeing him like this. She refused to go initially, tried to talk him out of this dangerous mess he got himself into, but he convinced her in the end that he would keep himself safe and wouldn't do anything on his own anymore. He doesn't know if she believed him. He doesn't even believe himself.

The article he just read changes everything. Paul was right. They are looking for him.

It was about a NYPD detective – but damn they didn't print her name in the paper – who was brought to a hospital last night by a mystery man. Thank God no one recognised him so far and the surveillance cameras didn't catch his face – pure luck, he realises now.

Unfortunately they didn't write something about her condition. Rick didn't see her die in his dream last night, but does this mean she's alright or does it mean she's already dead? He doesn't have a clue. And it drives him crazy.

He has to figure out a plan. Once Alexis is away and he finds out if the woman with the angelic face is ok, he has to make a decision whether he goes to the police and tells them the truth or not. He chuckles gloomily. As if they'd believe him. No, this is definitely not an option. He has to gather some evidence first. Something that proves his story. Without that, he would just be some dangerous psycho in their eyes and they'd lock him away – he was sure about that.

* * *

He intuitively drives to the hospital after he left the airport, feeling relieved that he doesn't need to worry about Alexis for the moment. He promised her to call every night and to keep her updated on the events.

And now he finds himself at the entrance of the building he brought the woman of his dreams to, just a few hours ago. He enters the hospital without thinking about it and lingers in the entrance area, waiting for something. He doesn't know for what, he just feels that it's important that he stays there.

A few moments later two police officers enter the hospital and one of them talks quietly to the woman sitting at the info desk.

Rick can hear them asking about a woman, but doesn't understand the name. They get a room number and move on towards the elevators. And Rick follows suit. He cannot explain it, but he knows they're here because of _her_. He just knows it.

He's lucky – the elevators are crowded and no one takes notice of him. He puts his hands into his pockets so no one can see how hard they are shaking. He can barely control himself, can barely suppress the feeling of being about to explode with nervousness. He shouldn't be here. But he has to find out if she's ok.

The police officers leave the elevator at the 4th floor and Rick slowly follows them down the corridor of the ICU, smelling the characteristically sterile touch that hangs in the air. He hides behind a corner and can see two other police officers who stand beside a door. Apparently they're having a shift change right now. He can hear them talking quietly but cannot make out the words.

And suddenly all four of them leave. So much for changing shifts. What the hell are they doing? Somebody tried to kill the woman in there – he's still convinced that _she _is in there – and now they're just leaving her unprotected? They can't –

And then he hears footsteps coming from behind him and when he turns around he looks right into two cold grey eyes. They belong to a tall man who walks right to her room. Rick stays there, stunned, having a bad feeling in his stomach. He's seen the man before, but he can't remember when or where. He just knows that he's seen this face before, that he already looked into those cold grey eyes.

And then everything happens pretty quickly. The man walks into her room and Rick runs after him, but he cannot prevent him from pulling out a syringe and injecting the sleeping or unconscious woman with something that cannot be good. The stranger is out of the hospital room before Rick can even say something and the even beeping of the machines she is connected to begins to become irregular and then flats out. He is at her side, standing immoveable beside her bed. He longs to touch her, but he can't. He tries to call for help, but his voice is gone.

And then his eyes fall onto the little table beside her bed. There lies a sheet with all sorts of diagnoses for her. And in the right corner he can clearly read her name.

_Katherine Beckett_.

He wakes up, gasping for air. He fell asleep on the couch in his living room, after he took Alexis to the airport. And now he has her name.

It's a start.


	5. The Man At The Crossroads

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "I wish this was one of your books, so you could rewrite the ending." But you can't change destiny – what's already been written down – can you? *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: Thank you again, for all the reviews! They make my day every time.

I especially want to thank the ones who didn't log in to leave me a review and I thus cannot thank personally – your reviews are really appreciated, too!

And I want to apologise for taking so long to update. The next chapters will be up more regularly again, I promise!

Now, on with the story.

_This is the night  
They say,  
Everyone wants a dream._

_This is the night_  
_They say,_  
_Nothing is as it seems._

_(Enya – "Dreams are more precious")_

* * *

**The Man At The Crossroads**

"I hate to see her like this..." Jim Beckett sighs and lets himself fall into the visitor's chair right beside his daughter's bed in the hospital room. He runs a hand over his face and tries to push the tears back that linger in the corner of his eyes ever since he was called to come here.

"Yeah, we hate it, too. And we'll do everything in our power to get the S.O.B. who did this to her." The Hispanic Detective, who stands on the other side of the bed, states.

"Esposito is right." The Irish Detective standing over at the door murmurs. "We'll take him down, no matter what."

"Thank you boys. I'm glad my Katie has partners like you two."

Suddenly a petite woman storms into the room.

"Hey, I just heard. Oh my God what happened to my girl? She looks awful."

"Hey chica." Esposito greets her. "She's gonna be ok. She's been drugged and has a crashed leg, but nothing serious. They gave her the good drugs and she's sound asleep now."

"But what the hell happened?"

"We don't know yet, Lanie." Ryan answers. "We have to wait until she wakes up so we can ask her."

"I wonder who it was who brought her here..." Mr. Beckett says deep in thought and more to himself than to anyone in particular. Lanie comes up to his side and squeezes his shoulder, her eyes never leaving her best friend.

"Why don't you get some rest, Mr Beckett. We'll stay here for a while and call you when she wakes up. Go home, get some sleep."

"Thank you. All of you. I'll be back soon." He says, reluctantly leaving his daughter's side.

When he's out the door, Lanie takes his seat and sighs.

"What did really happen to her? And don't you dare spare me. Tell me the truth." She demands from her boyfriend and the other Detective.

"It looked bad initially, to be honest. They told us that it took a long time in surgery to save her broken leg. She's got a bad comminuted fracture, but they were able to get the bone splinters out and she was lucky that no important arteries were damaged. They couldn't do much about the sedative she was injected with, said that it would wear off by itself. She should be able to leave in a few days once she is awake and when no other complications occur." Ryan states, sounding as if he's just quoted the doctor who treats their friend. And maybe he did.

"Some mystery man brought her here, but then he vanished before we were able to interrogate him. Surveillance camera didn't catch his face, but we know he's a tall white guy with dark clothes. We've got some uniforms showing his picture around." Esposito adds, trying to give Lanie an encouraging smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes though.

"What the hell happened to you?" Lanie murmurs to the unconscious woman, caressing her hand.

"We'll find out, chica. I promise."

After a few moments, Kate starts to move her head, her eyes flutter and just when Lanie wants to shout out her delight about the awakening of her friend and Esposito goes to press the call button for a nurse, Kate sits up straight in bed, eyes wide open and screaming.

"Sweety, relax. It's ok, it's ok, you're in hospital. You're safe now." Lanie tries to calm her down, putting an arm around her and stoking her hair gently, while Esposito presses the call repeatedly and Ryan rushes out of the door to look for help.

"He... He..." Kate croaks out, her voice rough and shaky.

"He can't harm you anymore. We're here." Esposito tells her.

"No... I... He... I saw a man... standing at a crossroads..."

"Was it him who hurt you?"

"No... No. He just... looked at me... just a few moments ago..."

"You must've been dreaming, honey. You've been here for the last 10 hours..."

The nurse who comes running into the room interrupts them and pushes Lanie aside. After she checked the monitors, she turns to her patient.

"How are you feeling, Miss Beckett. Are you in pain?"

"No... I... I'm just tired."

"I'll give you something so you can sleep some more. And I'd like to ask that the three of you to leave. Miss Beckett needs some more rest now."

When Lanie, Esposito and Ryan turn to the door, their friend is already sound asleep again.

* * *

"Richard, are you home?"

"In the study, mother." Rick shouts from behind his laptop.

"I just thought we could have lunch together. I've got a break for about two hours before my next audition." She suggest with a warm smile on her face.

"Sure. We could go to this new place you read about the other day."

"Sounds lovely, kiddo. Let's go. Is Alexis upstairs?"

"Uhm... no. She's in California, actually." Rick says hesitantly.

"But... California? At Meredith's? Why? Did something happen? She didn't tell me she wanted to go yesterday..."

"It was... ah... a spontaneous decision. She'll be back after the long weekend."

"What's going on, kiddo? I can tell here's something wrong." Martha says quizzically.

"No, no, everything's fine, I just –"

"Don't try to fool me, Richard. You look terrible, if I may say. What's wrong?"

Rick lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes for a moment. He knows he can't lie to her. She's his mother after all; she knows him inside out and could tell if he wasn't being honest with her. But he wants to keep her out of all that. He didn't want to involve Alexis, either, but he didn't see another choice. And he realises that his mother deserves to know the truth, too. Even if she wouldn't be pleased about what he'd done and what he was planning to do.

He opens his laptop again and turns it around, so that his mother can see what he's been doing there for the last few hours.

"This is her."

"Her? Richard, I don't... understand..." she says slowly, while she takes the woman in the picture on his screen in. "Wait! Brown hair and... Green eyes... You don't mean to tell me –"

"Yes, mother. I mean it. It's _her_. Her name is Katherine Beckett, she's an NYPD homicide detective and-"

"Wait a minute, kiddo. This is not possible. You must've mistaken her. Maybe she looks similar, but..."

"No, I am a hundred per cent sure. And I'll tell you why." Rick states, preparing to tell this story once again.

* * *

Rick is glad to be back in his loft. Alone.

The lunch with his mother was strenuous, she wouldn't stop trying to talk him out of all of this. Numerous times she tried to persuade him to go to her and talk to her. But the thought alone makes him nauseous. She is so special to him – even more so since he knows that she's real and not a product of his overactive imagination. He doesn't want her to think badly of him, to think he's crazy and lock him away. And he has to find a way to get to her – to save her – first, that's his priority for the moment. But how is he supposed to get through the security door in the hospital which divides the regular station from the ICU? You can't just walk through it, you have to ring a bell and they let you in.

Damn, she was supposed to be safe there. How will the man who wants her dead get through to her?

He yawns soundly and rubs his eyes with both hands, wincing when he feels the beginning of a headache. Why has his life suddenly become so complicated?

All was fine a few days ago; he was a happy father, a successful mystery writer and a carefree millionaire. Nothing had really bothered him, except for the second divorce he had been going through. The papers were full of it, although he and his now ex-wife had broken up almost a year ago. But he was a free man for three weeks now and the papers would eventually calm down again. All in all, his life was fantastic.

But –

Now everything was so complicated. He lied to his daughter and to his mother, mainly because he had absolutely no idea what he was up against. He didn't think of all the consequences his acting had, he wasn't left with a choice anyway. He couldn't just let her – Katherine – die. The sound of her name was pleasant in his head. Katherine. Kathy. No, not Kathy. Kat- ... Hmmmm... Kate! Yes, Kate it is. This sounds good to him and fitting to her.

His head starts to spin again and he decides to take an afternoon nap. Maybe his dreams will show him a way to get to her. He saw the date displayed in one of the machines she was attached to in his last dream and although he cannot recall the exact number, he knows he still got time.

Today is the 9th of April and he can recall that the date he saw began with a one. So it's either tomorrow – the 10th – or even later. A nap will do him good now.

* * *

He's at the hospital again, but he feels immediately that he is dreaming. While looking carefully around, he realises that no one reacts to his presence, as if nobody can see him. As if he's there and not there at the same time. This whole situation gets weirder and weirder with every minute.

He finds a newspaper and reads the date, April 12. And there's a clock hanging from the ceiling in the corridor that leads to the elevators. It reads 14:53.

Perfect. Now he has everything he needs to be able to plan out what to do.

He walks towards the elevators, careful not to touch the people walking around him – although they don't pay him any attention, he doesn't want to find out what happens when he skims them. He feels like Sam in the movie "Ghost". He wonders if he can go through walls and all this stuff, too.

He gave up wondering what was happening – or why it was happening to _him _- long ago. He wouldn't find an answer anyway; there just wasn't a logical explanation. He will have to live with it like it is. And make the best of it.

Which means to save the woman of his dreams.

He decides to take the stairs, to look around a bit more. His plan begins to take shape and suddenly he finds himself right in front of the huge doors to the ICU. He checks it out, watches a few people walk in and out, but it only confirms what he already knew. You can't just go in there. You have to push a button and then say your name and if you've got a relative who gets treatment there, you can go in to visit. He has her name, but he's sure that there's a list so that the personnel opening the door knows who to let in and who to deny. So how the hell is he supposed to get in there? Or the better question is how does the killer get through?

He waits a few more minutes; the police officers were just let in to the ICU, when the man who wants to harm Kate – it already feels so very natural to call her that – comes around the corner.

He feels excitement rush through his body. Now he's going to find everything out, now he'll get answers. Finally.

The man with the cold and scary eyes passes him by, staring at Rick but not really noticing that he's there. He stops right in front of the double doors and –

He types in a code.

The doors open and he walks through.

Rick is too stunned to follow and the door is already closed when he comes back to the situation at hand. Thank God this is just the dream. For a short moment he thought that he failed, that he won't be able to save her anymore. But no – there's still time.

Rick wakes with sweat on his entire body, his sheets soaked through.

Great. One hell of a way to impress a woman. For the first time he's glad that there is currently nobody around to share his bed.

He gets up lazily and drags himself to his bathroom and into the shower. He glances at his clock when he pulls it off, feeling tired although he just woke up from a two hours sleep. 'These dreams and all this life-saving are pretty exhausting', he thinks to himself.

While the warm water splashes around his body he relaxes a bit, trying to grasp what he just saw. He knows the date and the time – the _exact_ date and time – and he feels relieved. He'll be prepared this time. No more surprises. But –

He needs that code.

* * *

"When will I be able to leave?" Kate asks her partners in her no-nonsense detective voice. "Did the nurses tell you something?"

By the tone of her voice and the steel in her eyes, Ryan and Esposito know right away that she's better.

"No, we didn't talk to them yet. But you can ask the doctor later when he comes to take a look at you." Ryan answers slowly, knowing that his answer won't please his boss.

"Yo, you'll be out soon enough, but get some rest first."

"I don't need even more rest, Esposito. I want to find the man who did this to me. Have you any new leads?"

"No, nothing so far. The warehouse you sent us to has been cleaned up, there was absolutely nothing. And since you haven't seen the man's face clearly, we can't look for him. We checked the surveillance cameras in that area, but there was nothing suspicious. He must've have chosen the warehouse carefully, 'cause there was no camera around for two blocks. I'm sorry Beckett, but we've got nothing."

"Do you remember now what the man looked like? The one who took you away from there and brought you here?"

"No..." she sighs. "There's nothing. Must've been the drugs. But – "

"But what?" Esposito asks eagerly.

"I... I don't know. I think I dreamt of him..."

"You dreamt of him?" Ryan repeats.

"Yeah... Just before I woke up yesterday. We were standing at a crossroads..."

"Yeah, you mentioned that. What else?"

"I... Whenever I try to remember the details, it just vanishes. It slips from my hands and it's gone. But somehow I know it was him. And I think I know his voice. When he spoke to me in that warehouse, his voice sounded familiar somehow. But I just can't remember who it belongs to..." Kate states angrily. She wants to force her brain to work, to give her the answers she craves, but the harder she tries, the worse it gets.

"It's ok, Beckett. We'll find him. And the bastard who did this to you. We won't give up." Esposito promises.

"We'll find a way." Ryan adds.

* * *

Rick paces his living room, stopping every few steps to take a deep breath or to run his hands over his face. But no matter how often he asks himself the same question over and over again, it doesn't help. The waiting is killing him. He isn't the type to sit and wait, to plan everything out. It suits him better to just act, to dive right into the situation, head first.

And still. He hears this little voice in his head asking 'what have you gotten yourself into?' repeating itself all the time. He thinks of Paul all of a sudden and has a bitter taste on his tongue. He could really use a friend right now, could really do with his help here. Paul could pull some stings and could make sure she'd be safe. But –

He had always been able to count on Paul, even though they didn't have that much contact over the last few years. Both were quite busy with their lives and simply didn't have time to see each other very often. But no matter the time – even when it was in the middle of the night – when one of them called the other or was showing up at the door-step, they were always there for each other and trying to help out the best they could.

Why did he abandon him? And why now?

Now when he needed him the most?

Rick decides to call his old friend; refuses to accept that he had let him down. But Paul doesn't even answer his phone. He leaves a message, apologising and begging for help.

But he doesn't hear from his friend all evening.

When he sits on his couch writing a few facts down and working on his plan and realises that dawn is already breaking outside, he can't help but feeling so very lonely. Abandoned. Betrayed, even. It's all a bit too much and for the first time he thinks that he can't handle all of this anymore.

Who decided that it was his turn to play the hero anyway? Not him. It had never been his decision to play that role, to fulfil that task.

And then he makes a decision. He will save her this time – he had already planned everything out – and then he'd go to the police. He would make sure to collect some evidence to prove his story and then he'd give all this responsibility to people who can handle it better than him.

He just hopes he'll be able to see her nevertheless. He doesn't want to lose her. Not now, after all those years, after finding out that she's out there.

Somehow his thoughts always circle around the same lines. He never thought he'd find himself in such a struggle one day.

His head spins again. Time to go to bed and get some more sleep. He needs that code after all. Let's see what he can find out.

* * *

"I know – I – No that's absolutely not an option. I – No, I can handle this myself – Yeah, I'll take care of him – Yes, I'll make sure he never interferes with you again." Paul shuts his phone and lets himself sink onto his couch.

"Dammit." He curses under his breath. He needs to find a way to keep Rick away from her. Or they'll kill him, too.

* * *

**A/N: OMG, did you all see the promo for S05E01? Sweet Jesus! Can anybody tell me how to survive until September 24? Or how to survive the whole episode?**


	6. The Dream That Wasn't A Dream

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "I wish this was one of your books, so you could rewrite the ending." But you can't change destiny – what's already been written down – can you? *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: A special THANK YOU goes to worldinheaven for a very intriguing idea! ;-)

And the next chapter is almost ready, too. You'll gonna have it in a few days.

_Oh, my life is changing everyday,  
In every possible way.  
And oh, my dreams, it's never quite as it seems,  
Never quite as it seems._

_(The Cranberries – Dreams)_

* * *

**The Dream That Wasn't A Dream**

He drives his car through the hectic traffic of New York City and although his mind is occupied elsewhere, he finds his way to a certain hospital easily. When he parks his car and stands right in front of the building, he asks himself (for the umpteenth time), how he ended up here. Must have been one of his dreams. He's been here so much lately, well not really here, but 'here' nonetheless. At least his mind. Or whatever it was. Nothing he could explain logically, anyway.

Well, since he is here now, he can go in again and practice his master plan once more. Couldn't hurt.

He roams around the entrance of the hospital, not noticing the strange looks he gets from the people walking past him.

The clock says 14:12, so he's got more than enough time left. Wandering towards the stairs he ascends them slowly, his mind repeating the code he learned in his last dream when he followed a doctor to the ICU and was looking over his shoulder when he typed the code in.

When he walks past the nurse's station, he can hear people shouting. Curious, he stops his wandering and peers into the room. A nurse is talking to a man, but he stands with his back towards Rick so he can't see his face. But he must be very upset because he shouts at the nurse to follow their plan.

This really gets Rick's attention.

"No, Nick, I can't. And I won't. He can't ask this of me."

"Oh he can. You know he can. I don't know what you owe him and why, but you know that he won't accept a 'No'. So do as you are told. And woe betide you if she's awake when I come for her."

"He could've asked me to kill her just as well. I can't –"

"You listen to me now! And listen closely..." he says with a warning undertone and in a dangerously low voice, "Do as you were told. And let me do the rest. He didn't ask you to kill her, he asked me. There have been too many failures already. He wants it done, and I'm the man for those things. And when I'm long gone, it will look like you just mixed some medication up –"

"And then I'll lose my job and –"

"You've got family, right?"

"Yeah..." the middle-aged woman says hesitantly.

"Then make sure nobody wants to harm them. You understand me?" the man growls darkly, laying his hand around the nurse's neck, his face only inches from hers.

After staring her in the eyes for a couple of seconds, he leaves the room without another word. He walks past Rick without really taking note of him.

Yeah, well, how could he, this is one of his dreams, right? He's safe.

The nurse in the room cries silently and takes a syringe and bottle with a clear white fluid out of the medicine cabinet and starts to prepare everything.

Rick gasps when he realises what all that means. That's how the mystery man got the code to the ICU and probably the stuff to inject her with, too. And how he made sure Kate wouldn't be able to defend herself. They will drug her and then kill her in her sleep. Rick feels a cold shiver run down his spine. What the hell was he up against?

The nurse leaves the room too, walking in the opposite direction from where Rick stands and hurries forward to the ICU.

Well, since he is here now, he could risk a look. Gather more information. Maybe even prepare himself for collecting evidence when all of this will really happen. Take some pictures with his mobile phone. Hey, that's a good idea. Why hadn't he thought of this before? He had to make sure to recharge his phone and take it with him. And for now, he could find places to hide when he'll be actually here in person so that no one will be able to recognise him and he can take those pictures without raising suspicion.

He is so busy avoiding all those people crossing his way that he doesn't realise that some of them turn around and shoot curious looks at him.

When he reaches the doors to the ICU the blonde nurse is nowhere in sight. He must've missed her. Damn! How the hell is he supposed to get through there, when he is not even sure if he can touch things in his dream? How is he supposed to type in the code? But the panic is gone as quickly as it arrived – he can just wait for this SOB who wants to kill his Kate. Wait, what?

_His _Kate?

Where did this come from?

Ugh, this is not good. Not good at all.

He has to be careful not to invest too much in her. She doesn't even know he exists. And after his second divorce just a few weeks ago, he shouldn't risk his heart so easily. Maybe she doesn't even like him. No, he just wants to make sure that she'll be ok. No more.

Yeah, right.

* * *

After waiting about half an hour for this mystery man, Rick decides to just give it a try. His heart beats fast and he hears it too loud in his ears, his hands are shaking and his head aches.

Huh? His head aches. Is he able to feel pain in his dreams? Anyway, he lifts a finger and so very slowly he reaches for the key pad beside the double doors. Cautiously he tries to press down a button.

It works.

A low 'beep'-sound reaches his ears and Rick needs a moment to register what he just did. He _is _able to touch things. Wow. That's cool.

He types in the code and walks through the doors. Looking around he doesn't see the man who walks through the doors behind him, watching him critically.

But when Rick comes to sudden halt when he feels a sharp pain (he must've got some sort of spasm in his left leg) the man behind him bumps right into him. Rick falls down on the ground, but the other man can break his fall and casts him a threatening look, before he turns away and moves on.

The killer.

Rick immediately recognises his eyes. Cold, grey eyes. Eyes he has seen before. Why can't he remember where?

And –

Oh good God. This man ran right into him. His leg hurts. He was able to type the code in.

Oh no! No no no no no!

This isn't a dream!

Shit, this is real! How the hell could that happen to him? The only explanation he can find is that he must've dreamt this so often that it just felt so natural to be here, that his subconscious mind has led him here on the right day and at the right time, without him really realising what was happening until he found himself standing right in front if the hospital-building; so he'd just assumed it was one of his dreams. Oh shit! And now –

A glance at his watch shows him that it's already 14:57, and the villain who wants to kill the woman of his dreams is already on the way to her. He's got no time left. It's almost too late already.

So much for his plan.

He stands up on his feet again, winces when his left leg yields under him. He stumbles to the ground again, down on his hands and knees and sees from the corner of his eye that the man with the grey eyes just enters Kate's hospital room. The door closes and Rick's eyes close at the same time. Sweat is running down his neck and his back, his whole body is shaking badly and bile is rising up his throat.

This cold blooded killer is already in Kate's room and probably injecting her with some overdosed drug and he still stands here outside, paralysed with shock.

Get a grip, Rick.

He stumbles forward as fast as he can, ignoring the confused glances from the nurses around him and yanks the door open that leads to Kate's room. He cannot hear her machines beep anymore. Oh no, it's too late already –

But, no, she's just no longer attached to them. Seems like they wanted to move her today, to the regular station.

He must've startled the mystery man, because he drops the syringe – which is now rolling towards Rick – and casts him a look that makes his inside churn and every single hair on his body stand up in horror.

But Rick doesn't even take his time to think things through, he uses the surprise of his opponent and tackles him, head first in the guts. The killer falls down on the floor, hitting his head on a small table and lies there unconscious. A short glance at Kate shows him that she's ok, sleeping peacefully and still breathing. She's even got a little smile on her lips.

He makes the most of the time needed for the man he just tackled to the floor to recover and presses the call button multiple times, kicking the syringe with his foot as far away as he can and cast another protective look at his Kate, before he makes his exit. He still cannot prove that he isn't part of all this. He has to escape one last time, before he can resolve all this.

When three nurses and a Doctor come running into the room he is already gone, but when he walks through the doors of the ICU a petite, red haired nurse runs into him. He excuses himself and moves on not noticing how much her eyes light up at the sight of him.

Richard Castle. Her favourite mystery writer.

* * *

She stands there in the bright sunshine; surrounded by people she cannot hear talking. All the sounds are muted, except for the wind that blows lightly. The sun is too bright and everything is dipped in white light. It's too bright and she has to squint her eyes to be able to recognise the figure which is slowly walking towards her. She can see him so very clearly now, as if the light shines around him, not touching him. As if he walks in shadows surrounding him.

He's the only thing she can see clear in all this light and when he reaches out for her, putting a stray of her auburn locks behind her ear, his fingertips caressing the skin of her cheek oh so very lightly, she can see his eyes. The blue depths in which she wants to lose herself. And when his mouth is nearing hers and their lips almost touch, she can see his face.

"Richard Castle!" Kate cries out, sitting upright in bed.

"Oh my God, she's awake, she's awake!" Lanie exclaims, sitting down on Kate's bed and putting her arms around her best friend. "Kevin, get a nurse. And call Esposito."

"On my way." Kevin Ryan answers while hurrying out the door.

"It's Richard Castle, Lanie." Kate murmurs, not sure what has just happened.

"What are you talking about, sweetie? You just woke up, someone has tried to kill you, but we've got him, Esposito has already brought him to the 12th and –"

"I saw him, Lanie. In, uhm, a dream? I'm not sure. But I know that he's the man who brought me here. I remember him now. It was Richard Castle."

"Honey, are you sure? It must be the sedatives –"

"No, Lanie, I'm a hundred per cent sure. I told you that I recognised his voice, right? I remember it now. It was his voice. It's him, Lanie. I'm serious. I know it." Kate says is her best no-none-sense detective voice.

"Oh my God..."

"What is it, Lanie? What's wrong? I'm not mad or -"

"I need to check something. Will be back in a minute..." Lanie exclaims and rushes out of the door.

Calling Esposito she walks over to a corner, almost biting her fingernails again, although it was years ago when she last did.

"Hey Chica, did you miss –"

"Concentrate, Javi. This is important! The nurse you interviewed, the one with the short read hair, didn't she say she saw a man leaving the ICU in a hurry?"

"Yeah, she said something like that. We're looking into that now, checking surveillance cameras looking for him."

"Who did she claim to see? What was his name?"

"Oh... Uhm... Let me see. She said she saw... ", Esposito says while looking through his notebook, "Some Ricardo – No Richard. Richard Castle. Whoever that is."

That was all Lanie needed to hear.

"Get your sweet ass over here. I have no idea how this all is connected but you need to talk to Kate. I don't know how, but this Richard Castle** –** who is a famous mystery writer by the way **–** seems to be involved in all this."

"O... kay... I'll be there in 20. And I'll have Johnson gather information about him and check the surveillance cameras again. If there's something, we'll find it. And then we'll bring him in."


	7. And It All Comes Crashing Down

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "I wish this was one of your books, so you could rewrite the ending." But you can't change destiny – what's already been written down – can you? *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: Don't hate me. ;-)

* * *

_And oh, my dreams,  
It's never quite as it seems,  
'Cause you're a dream to me,  
Dream to me._

_(The Cranberries – Dreams)_

**And It All Comes Crashing Down**

"So, what have we got?" Kate asks in a serious tone, ignoring that her doctor told her to get some rest even though they moved her to the regular station of the hospital. She's now got a single room, with a protective detail before her door and a cop dressed as a nurse sitting in the corner.

"You were right about Mr Castle." Esposito states and scratches his head. "He was there when you were attacked. Ms. Santiago identified him and we've spotted him on several surveillance cameras. One even shows him entering your hospital room at the ICU right after our John Doe. And then Mr Castle left in a hurry, looking really uncomfortable and well, suspicious."

"This can't be." Lanie murmurs. "I really love his books and always thought he was a nice guy. Do you really think he's involved?"

"It looks like it. But we can't be sure yet." Ryan tosses in.

"Then let's bring him in." Kate says through gritted teeth and begins to crawl out of her bed.

"Whoa whoa, easy, girl. You're going nowhere. The doctor said that you can leave in two days at the earliest. You need to –"

"I need to solve this case, Lanie. I don't care what the doctor said. I need to make sure that whoever wants me dead gets caught. And I need to talk to Richard Castle. Now!"

"Ok, ok, chill out. Talk to your doc. I need to head back to the morgue anyway. I've changed three shifts, but now my time's up. Sorry, honey. See you soon."

"Ok, Lanie. Why don't you come over to my place tonight?"

"Let's see if they let you go first. Call me if I can do something for you."

"Ok. Bye, Lanie." Kate waves her friend good-bye and then gestures Ryan to come to her bed, "And you, go get the doctor. Now."

"On it."

"Are you sure, you want to do this boss? I mean, your leg and everything that happened –"

"I'm positive, Espo. I'm leaving ASAP. It drives me crazy to sit here and do nothing. I've been here long enough. And I'm leaving, no matter what the doctor says. I just want him to go and get my discharge papers. And then we'll find out what's going on here."

"You need to talk to Montgomery first, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll spin something out. Did our John Doe say anything so far?"

"No, absolutely nothing. Just wanted his lawyer. And then he didn't say another word."

"Great." Kate says, rolling her eyes. "Then let's talk to Mr Castle."

* * *

"Paul, open up!", Rick shouts, banging his fist against his friend's door. "Paul, please, I know you're in there. I just saw you walk right in. Please, I really need your help! Paul –"

"Rick would you please stop shouting. What the hell are my neighbours supposed to think?" Paul greets him, trying to hide a bloody shirt under his jacket.

"Thank you, pal. I really owe you – Oh God, Paul, what's this? Are you hurt? Can I hel–"

"No, no, I'm fine. My nose was bleeding very hard, but I'm fine now. Please come in." Paul answers in a hurried tone, ushering Rick in while looking around nervously.

"Your nose was bleeding? This doesn't look like –"

"Rick – Why are you here?"

"Oh yes... Listen, I'm really sorry about last time. I... I really need to do this, you know. But you were right, this is too big for me. I'll go to the police. I'll tell them everything. But I need evidence for my innocence. I need something to prove that I'm not a part of all this. I can't just tell them I dreamt all this stuff. They would never believe me, you know? I... I don't know what to do. How do I prove all that?" Rick begins to talk like a waterfall.

"Let me get a new shirt and a drink for both of us and then I'll see what I can do for you, ok?"

"Yeah... Yeah, ok."

* * *

"Sir, you don't understand – "

"No, Beckett, you don't understand. It's against protocol to let a detective work their own case. And you can't even walk. Or drive. You just got out of hospital. I won't let you go out in the field. You go home."

"No, Sir, please. You have to let me. I really need to do this. I need to talk to Mr Castle and find out what he knows. Who's behind all this. And why he changed his mind and took me to the hospital."

"Ok, Kate." Captain Montgomery gives in, knowing perfectly well that he cannot deny Beckett anything. "You're the best I've ever trained, maybe the best I've ever seen, but I cannot let you out there, with your injured leg. I know, I know, they put it in plaster and you actually can walk around a bit, but this is entirely too dangerous. You can stay here and wait until they bring Mr Castle in. And then you can ask him some questions. But no investigating on your own. You hear me?"

"Loud and clear. Thank you, Sir."

Kate leaves Captain Montgomery's office with gritted teeth. Of course he was right, she was useless out it the field. She couldn't even drive her car. And her doctor in the hospital didn't really want to let her go, either. But she needs to do something. And this is what she can do best. So this is what she should do.

When she looks around she sees that Ryan and Esposito are still not back yet. Damn. She hates waiting. Her insides burn with the want to know what the hell is going on. And she just can't forget her dream. Her dreams. She can barely remember the first one, she just knows that she was standing at a crossroads and drinking her coffee, waiting for the green light. And then he was suddenly there, standing behind her. She couldn't see his face at first, it was all in a blur, but after her second dream she was sure. She knew that it was him. She could see him so clearly the second time, as if she was really there – wherever that was – with him. And when he touched her... She can still feel his fingertips on her cheek. Unconsciously she lets her own fingertips wander over it. And when he was about to kiss her –

Damn those butterflies in her stomach. She doesn't even know him. Sure, she knows his books, _all _his books. By heart. But what if he's involved in all this? Involved in her mother's murder. Because that's what brought her to this abandoned warehouse in the first place. This man claiming to have information about her mum's death. That's why she went there. But it was a trap. They wanted her. So why the hell was he there?

"Yo, Beckett, we've got – Everything ok?"

"Y-yeah. Yeah, Esposito. I'm fine. Have you got him?"

"No, he wasn't home. But we've found some interesting stuff in his trunk." Ryan states proudly.

His phone rings, before he can explain more.

"Ryan here – Yeah – Great." He walks over to Beckett's desk, takes a piece of paper and a pen and scribbles down an address. "I've got it, thanks."

"What's this, Ryan?" Kate wants to know. Her leg throbs and she craves answers.

"We've got him. Someone called to let us know where Mr Castle is and that he wants to leave the country. Come on, Esposito, let's go."

"Nothing screams 'I'm guilty' more than that. Get a warrant and bring him in." Kate calls after them.

When the elevator doors close and the two detectives are on their way downstairs, Ryan shifts unsure from one foot to the other.

"What's wrong, Partner?" Esposito wants to know, laying a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"It's about Beckett. She shouldn't be here. You know that, Javier. She's injured and just checked herself out of the hospital against medical advice. And now she wants to investigate her own case. I just don't think –"

"She got this. You know Beckett. She can handle this. And we'll make sure to have her back. It's gonna be fine." The Hispanic detective tries to assure his partner, but it sounds more like convincing himself.

"I still think we should talk to Captain Montgo –"

"Ryan, let it go. She already talked to him. You can't force Beckett to go home. Why do you think Montgomery let her stay here? To have an eye on her. To prevent her from investigating alone and without back-up. He knows her better than any of us. You should trust him."

"Yeah, I think you're right. It's just... I don't have a good feeling here."

* * *

"Who did you talk to?" Rick asks Paul when he comes back into his living room with the phone in his hand.

"Uh, just some client, nothing important. Would you like a Scotch?"

"I think I should leave. It's unfair of me to draw you into this, too. I -"

"Oh, Ricky, nothing to worry about here. Don't leave. Look, I'm sorry. I should've stood by your side. I'm your friend. We will manage this together. As long as you promise to go to the police once you've found some evidence for your innocence. Why don't you tell me what happened?" Paul suggested while pouring both of them a drink.

"Are you sure? I mean, I have no idea who I am up against."

"You've no idea? Good. Good..." Paul says thoughtfully, while handing Rick a glass with Scotch.

"How can this be good?"

"Huh? Oh, I was just thinking. Anyway, how will you prove that this has nothing to do with you? That you just dreamt all of this?"

"I saved her life after all, right? Three times now." Rick thinks aloud.

"Three?"

"Yeah. Someone wanted to kill her today, in her hospital room. I knocked him out and, well, I left again."

"God, Rick, how can you be so stupid? This will only make you look even more suspicious. And this guy, you saw his face, right?" Paul seems to be very nervous now, running a hand over his face. "Did you recognise him?"

"Recognise him? Well. No, not really."

Paul takes a deep breath.

"But I have seen him somewhere before, I think. I remember his eyes." Rick adds.

"But you don't know where?"

"No, I have no idea. Why is that so important to you?"

"To me? No- no, this isn't important to me. But it should be important to you."

"Why is that?" Rick asks confused.

"Because he must've seen your face, too. And he'll find out who you are. Shit. Shit!" Paul lays a comforting arm around his friend, pretending he is just so upset because he thinks that Rick is in danger.

"He must be in custody already. He can't harm me."

"But what about his boss?" Paul asks, getting up again and pacing the room.

"His boss? How do you know he's got a boss?" Rick wants to know, drawing a little away from his friend. Something is wrong here.

"Uhm, well, from what you've told me, there must be another man behind all this. Someone pulling the strings." Paul explain, walking over to a window and looking out anxiously.

"How do you know it's a man. Could be a woman just as well."

"I don't _know _that, Rick. I just assumed..." Paul answers, glancing nervously at his watch.

"You expecting someone?" Rick demands to know with narrowed eyes. What the hell was his friend up to?

"No, no. I just, uhm, have an important appointment in half an hour. Don't want to be late, you know?" Paul tries a nervous chuckle. It doesn't really work.

"I should leave now." Rick says in firm voice despite the sweat that is running down his back. He needs to get away. The blood on his friend's shirt that definitely couldn't be from a bleeding nose - the pattern were just not right - and now Pauls strange behaviour send a chill through Ricks whole body. He cannot explain what is going on or what his friend is up to - he just knows it can't be good. He needs to leave. Now.

"No, no, Ricky." Paul fakes a wide smile. "Don't leave just yet. I've got some time, still. Finish your drink. Tell me some more about all this."

"No, Paul. I don't want to steal more of your time. I'll figure something out. Don't worry." Rick tries to explain, hoping his friend would leave it at that and just let him go.

Paul's eyes darken and for a moment Rick thinks his friend wants to slap him square in the face. But his eyes soften again and Paul just smiles at him and nods.

"Ok, my friend. As you wish. But if anything happens, I mean, if you could use my help - call me."

Rick lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. How did it come to that? He's afraid of his friend now. Paul doesn't seem to be the man he once knew anymore.

"I will. I -" Rick gets interrupted by loud banging on Paul's front door.

"NYPD open up!"

Rick's eyes widen. How- Why -? Paul?

"I'm sorry, pal. It's better like this." Paul whispers and opens the door.

"He's over there!" Esposito yells, the gun in his hands pointing at Rick.

"Let me see your hands!" Ryan shouts moving forward.

"Turn around Mr Castle. Now!"

"This is all a big misunderstanding, I-" Rick tries to explain, but they won't listen to him.

"Turn around!" Esposito exclaims, his gun still pointed at their suspect, while Ryan produces a pair of handcuffs.

"Richard Castle, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be held against you."

* * *

**A/N: Their first actual meeting is drawing nearer. :-)**

**And if you don't know how to pass the last days to September 24 or need some distraction from all the excitement (like me) you should read some of **purplangel's** or **arkem's **stories! They're so amazing!**


	8. When Everything Goes Wrong

I DREAM of you...

Summary: The conspiracy behind the murder of Beckett's mum threatens her life.  
And destiny called Castle to keep her safe. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: I'm really sorry that you all had to wait so long for an update. I wasn't able to write for a long time, life just got in the way, as it happens sometimes. I'm  
almost back to normal (at least I hope to be soon) and hope to update more regularly now. Thank you for sticking with this story.

* * *

_And oh, my dreams,  
It's never quite as it seems,  
'Cause you're a dream to me,  
Dream to me._

_(The Cranberries – Dreams)_

_Previously:_

_"Turn around!" Esposito exclaims, his gun still pointed at their suspect, while Ryan produces a pair of handcuffs._

_"Richard Castle, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be held against you." _

"You've been informed of your rights, Mr Castle?" Kate Beckett asks when she enters the room with a 'bang', slamming the door shut behind her. Captain Montgomery only gave her five minutes for the interrogation and she is determined to use them.

"I... Uh... Oh my God, it's – it's you..." Rick utters, sucking in the air sharply, an awkward feeling in his stomach and a painful tingle in his brain. He's slightly embarrassed of his lack of words, because words are supposed to be his 'thing' and they shouldn't abandon him at this crucial moment in his life.

"So?" Kate says with a raised eyebrow.

"I just... Didn't think they'd let me see you. I wanted to talk to you for so long –"

"Then why didn't you?" Kate asks impatiently, tapping with her fingers over the smooth surface of the table between them. It feels cool beneath her skin and helps her concentrate. Although it doesn't help her get rid of the butterflies in her stomach. Damn this ruggedly handsome man.

"I... Uhm... I didn't know how to explain – look, this is all a big misunderstanding, I –"

"Save me your speech. I get to hear things like that all the time. It's never as it seems, right? I just want you to answer one simple question. Who is behind all this?"

"I don't know." Rick answers feebly.

"The hell you don't know. You're involved in all this! So, who's behind the attempted attacks on my life and who is behind my mother's murder?" Kate yells at him, jumping from her chair and building herself up before him.

"Your mother's murder? What –"

"Don't you dare to play games with me Castle." Kate threatens him in a dangerously low voice, placing both of her hands on the table and leaning in to Rick.

"Castle? Hmm... I like the way my name sounds when you say it... Kate."

Kate's eyes go wide. How can he dare to –

What is he thinking –

He can't just –

"Look, Detective Beckett." Rick tries to save the situation after seeing the expression on her face.

"I am not involved in any of that. I was just trying to keep you safe." He tries to explain, miserably failing in ignoring the sweat that is coating his hands and running down his back. She's so close to him and her smell is intoxicating. She smells sweet somehow, like a summer's day, like – He can't put his finger on it. But he's already addicted.

"And why would you do that?" the attractive brunette wants to know, still hearing every beat of her excited heart in her ears. Their faces are so close that their noses are almost touching. And here she is again, about to lose herself in his baby blue eyes, just like in her last dream of him. When he almost kissed her. Gosh, how is she supposed to concentrate on getting him to talk when all she wants is to kiss him senseless? She draws back a little, running a hand through her auburn locks and takes a deep breath.

"Because I couldn't help myself. What was I supposed to do? Let you die?" Dammit, get a grip, Rick. This is definitely not helpful.

"Then how could you know that I was going to die if you weren't involved in this?"

Rick opens his mouth and closes it again, but doesn't say a word.

"That's what I figured." Kate sighs, taking her seat again and looking at her watch. Only one minute left.

"I... I can't believe this is happening. I mean, that we finally meet. After all those –", Rick almost bites his tongue. He really needs to get a grip. He can't just tell her all this like it's nothing. Of course, this 'meeting' is so very important to him because he's been waiting for it to happen for almost three years, but it's completely different for her. Maybe she didn't even know that he existed until today. He can't just let his mouth run away with those words, just because she looks so overwhelmingly beautiful in reality with those sad, forlorn eyes that could almost kill him.

"What? What did you just say? This is all a big game for you isn't it? You enjoy all this, right? We're talking about my life here, _my_ life, this is not your personal jungle gym. I –"

"I know that, Kate. Trust me. I know. And I just – I just want to help."

"Then tell me who's behind this."

* * *

"Yo, Beckett, we're taking over now." Esposito greets Kate with an encouraging smile when she comes out of interrogation room one. But she just shoots him and Ryan a glare and leaves them standing there without another word. Damn Montgomery and his five minutes. What was she supposed to achieve in five damn minutes? Castle wouldn't talk to Espo and Ryan. But he would talk to her, she was sure. If they'd just give her some more time. She would crack him.

"Wasn't Montgomery's best idea to let her go in there alone." Ryan states.

"Come on, Ryan, Montgomery knows what he's doing. Now let's make this guy in there sweat a little more before we go in." The Hispanic detective says while opening the door to the break room.

About an hour later, after putting the evidence together into a folder and checking the surveillance cameras of the hospital again, the detectives decide to give their suspect another chance to explain himself.

"So, Mr Castle. How do you intend to explain all of this?" Esposito asks the writer, sitting down opposite him and rousing him from a slumber, while Ryan remains standing at the door. "You had a good sleep?"

"Huh? What? Yeah... Yeah, I must've dozed off. Sorry. I... Where is Kate? I mean, Detective Beckett. Is she alright? What time is it?"

"What is this all about? Stop playing games. We have evidence that you were at the crime scene. At two crimes scenes to be exact. You're looking at an attempted murder charge here. This should be your first priority now, not where Detective Beckett is. " Ryan tries to make clear how serious the whole situation is.

"You really think we would tell you anyway? So that you can try to kill her again? Or inform your boss?" Esposito asks the confused writer with a glare.

"Whoa, slowly guys. I haven't got anything to do with this." Ricksays in his defence.

"Then why were you at the hospital?"

"Or at the warehouse?"

"We have you on several surveillance cameras."

"And people recognised you."

"This doesn't prove anything. I was just trying to save her. And I succeeded. So why the hell am I sitting here – handcuffed! – and no one is thanking me?" Didn't they get it? He saved her life. Three times. And they think he is involved in trying to kill her? Don't they see how ridiculous they are?

"Mr Castle, the question is – how could you know that our boss was in trouble? It can't be a coincidence that you were there both times."

"You can't even prove that I was at this – what did you say? Warehouse? And yes, it was just a coincidence that I was at the hospital." Rick bluffs, trying to find out how much they know. Maybe he can really get out of here and collect some evidence to prove his story and then tell them the truth.

"Do you want to stick with this story?"

"Yeah – "

"Great. Now you can spend the night here, buddy." Esposito answers with a self-satisfied smile to his partner.

"Why – What?"

Ryan comes over now and sits beside his partner, producing a folder with some pictures. "You lied to us." He states, pointing at the photos. "We can prove that you were at the warehouse and that you took Detective Beckett to the hospital. We found this –", he taps his finger onto one of the pictures, "in your trunk. And this in your laundry."

Shit. The foot mat of his car and his shirt – both with Kate's blood on it. He totally forgot about those.

"We also have evidence from the surveillance cameras at the hospital that you typed in the code to the ICU to get access. So it wasn't a coincidence that you were there. So, now tell us how the hell you knew where our boss would be attacked if you really just wanted to save her."

"I can't."

"You can't? What's that supposed to mean?" Ryan asks with a meaningful glance to his partner. But Esposito is just staring at this famous mystery writer as if he were a little fly he wanted to smoosh with his fist.

"It means that I cannot explain this. You'd never believe me."

"Oh, you're damn right, man. I don't believe a word coming out of your mouth. You're a big fat liar and you're involved in this. Evidence proves it. And that's why you wanted to flee the country."

"Nothing screams 'I'm guilty' more than that." Ryan adds, feeling they might crack him now.

"I... I – what? I didn't wanted to leave the country, I – "

"Another lie. This looks worse for you with every word you say, man."

"But I –"

"Your friend Paul McKenzie told us. He called us while he was trying to convince you not to drive to the airport and set yourself off to Europe and turn yourself in instead."

"You can't be serious, guys. I wasn't planning anything like that. The fact is that I wanted to come here and talk to you, or to Kate – uhm Detective Beckett. But I wanted to collect some evidence first, that would prove my story. Because I know you won't believe me."

"That's bullshit!"

"Wait, Esposito. Let's just hear his story first, ok?" Ryan whispers to his partner, grabbing his arm.

"I don't see any sense in that. He's a liar. Why should we even listen to him if he can't prove any of it? He's a best-selling author after all, he gets paid to make up convincing stories that fool people, so why should we believe anything he says?" Esposito whispers back.

"I don't see any sense in that, either." Rick also whispers, earning a deadly look from both detectives.

"I wouldn't even believe myself. But this is important. She's still in danger. Someone will try to kill her tonight."

* * *

"What?" Kate's voice echoes through the whole precinct. "This is his story? His explanation? Lock him away, right now. This is crazy! I can take care of myself! I'm a NYPD homicide detective for God's sake! I've worked here for _years_, Espo, and I'm perfectly fine! I don't need some civilian, some psycho to save me from anything!"

"But, Beckett, you have to admit that it was pretty close and if he's telling the truth and it wasn't for _him _you would be – "

"No, Javier. This is bullshit! He's just insane – "

"But he told us about another dream he just had and that you are in danger again –" Ryan interferes.

"No. No. NO!" she screams, turning on her heels and leaving them standing there dumb founded. She fought the urge to storm off, knowing it just wasn't possible with her injured leg. But she was intending to make a point here, so this stumbling away would have to do.

"I told you she wouldn't like it." Esposito says, turning to his partner.

"Well, she's Beckett after all. Let's get this poor guy out of the interrogation room."

"Wait, we cannot let him go. He might be dangerous after all."

"Oh come on. He saved her life. Again. He's not dangerous."

"But how do you explain why he knew about all that? It could be that he is the man behind all this."

"Maybe he tells the truth."

Esposito only slaps his partner on the shoulder, shaking his head. No, this psycho clearly wouldn't see the light of day for a long time. But he will talk to Montgomery about prodective detail for Beckett nevertheless. Just in case.

But Ryan couldn't ignore the bad feeling in his stomach. What if this man really told the truth and what if the dream he told them about would come true and Beckett was going to die tonight?


	9. Unexpected Help, Part I

I DREAM of you...

Summary: The conspiracy behind the murder of Beckett's mum threatens her life.  
And destiny called Castle to keep her safe. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: It's been ages, I know, and I'm really sorry. But this is a very long chapter (the longest I have ever written) and it's still only part I. I hope it recompenses a little for the long wait.

To** purplangel**: This is early Christmas, baby! ;-)

* * *

_When the cold of Winter comes  
Starless night will cover day  
In the veiling of the sun  
We will walk in bitter rain_

_But in dreams_  
_I can hear your name_  
_And in dreams_  
_We will meet again_

_(The Lord of the Rings - OST)_

**Unexpected Help, Part I**

„Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever.

* * *

He finds himself in a dark corridor, without any memory how he's gotten here. He can't even remember what he did last, he just knows that he is here.

Rick moves forward and sees an apartment-door standing wide open. He looks around, but cannot see anybody in the half light of the corridor. Only some dim street-lamps from outside give him a little light. It must be sometime around midnight, Rick supposes.

He walks right through the door, knowing she's in there. He just knows it and will know it any time he's near to his Kate. He's got this special bound to her through all those dreams over all those years. He knew her even before he met her. And now he even knows the sound of her voice, the sweet smell surrounding her. And those are burned into his brain, like the way she moves or the way her hair frames her face. Although it sounds cheesy, even to him, the sound of her voice feels like a warm embrace and the pleasant smell makes him smile when it climbs up his nose and explodes in his head like the bright sunshine on a summer's day.

But there's something else here, Rick feels as if an icy hand has found the way around his heart and is smashing it with a pressure that takes his breath away. His stomach clenches and his knees go weak when he sees what has caused this reaction in him.

He moves further into the tastefully decorated room and when he sees the lifeless body on the floor, lying in a pool of blood, he doesn't have to take a closer look. He knows it her.

Falling to his knees, he feels tears running down his face. He can hear a voice screaming in his head that could pierce marrow and bone, but no sound gets out into the night.

This can't be, this mustn't be! Kate! No no no no no! This mustn't be, please, I need her, she can't be dead! I mustn't be too late. Oh no...

The voice is still screaming, the words echoing in his head. And he can just sit there, stunned and paralysed, looking at her lifeless form. He can't help himself, she still looks so very beautiful even in death. If it wasn't for all the blood around her and over her arms and chest and for her dead eyes that haunt him, she was the most beautiful person he'd set his eyes on. He reaches out with a shaking hand in a desperate try to close them, when his hand slips right through her face. He blinks a few times, holds his breath and tries again. And again and again. It takes a while for him to realise what exactly is happening here.

He's dreaming. He... It's just a dream, thank the universe, it's just a dream!

He feels as if a whole mountain range has been lifted from his heart.

And the familiar thoughts enter once more his brain. There's still time. You can still save her.

But... Why is she already dead in this dream? All those other times, he's been able to see how it happened, able to see who her murderer was, able to plan things out to prevent it.

How is he supposed to do that now, when he found her already dead and her killer up and away?

Get a grip, Rick, this is not helpful. You have to figure it out. Be a detective, be Derrick Storm, find something useful.

He looks around for an indication of the date and time. He needs a starting point, something to get his hope back, something to get his brain into motion.

But he doesn't find anything. He's dreaming, he can't touch anything. He can't turn on the TV or her computer, there is no newspaper and not even a freaking clock in this room. And all the other doors are closed, impossible for him to open. He's got nothing.

Pacing the room his heart races away, he thinks with a bitter smile that it's not even possible that it stays in his chest. He expects it to jump right out of it and into his hands, falling right beside his Kate to the ground and dying there.

The poisonous thoughts enter his brain again, the hopeless questions how he should be able to figure it out. To save her. It's all in vain if he can't find something useful. And her dead eyes stare him down, make bile rise up his throat and his head spin. He sinks to his knees again beside her, crying hot tears of desperation, shaking his head and closing his eyes. He cannot bear it any longer. He cannot bear it to sit here by her side without being able to touch her. To hold her tight to his chest, to wipe away the blood and tell her – and himself – that he won't let that happen, that he will find a way to save her. But he doesn't believe it himself any more; the picture of her lying there too disturbing, too terrible.

He takes a deep breath, but no air reaches his lungs. His eyes burn from the salty tears and his hands shake so badly that he doesn't think they will ever stop. He cannot think straight any more.

But right here, in his darkest hour, she appears. She enters the room from behind him and lays her hand oh so very gently down on his shoulder.

And suddenly he can breathe again. The knot in his brain loosens, just like the one in his stomach. He manages to take a deep breath and turns around slowly.

The woman behind him smiles warmly. She looks so very much like his Kate, but it isn't her. He sees it right away. The woman is a little older and her kind eyes and the laughter lines around them give her away.

"I can't believe you're here..." She whispers, her lips barely moving, kneeing down in front of him.

"Who... Who are you?" Rick asks, although he has a clear idea with whom he's talking. But he cannot really believe what he's thinking.

"I am Johanna Beckett. But there's no time for things like small-talk. We don't have much time left. You'll wake up soon." Johanna tells him.

"But I... I don't understand... How... Why are you here? In my dream? How is that even possible that you can talk to me... And touch me... I..."

"I told you, we don't have time for that. You'll understand everything soon enough. But Richard, listen now – you need to save her. Please save her. You are her only option. You are the only one who is able to. There are higher powers involved here than you know. But you can do it. You can prevent this..." she whispers, looking at the dead body on the floor.

"No matter the obstacles, no matter the cost, I beg you; save my Katie."

Her hand leaves his shoulder, and she walks away from him out the door of Kate's apartment. Rick gets up as quickly as he can and stumbles forward, tries to reach her, because he's got so many questions left and he cannot believe that she doesn't want to answer them. How is he supposed to do what she asks from him when he hasn't got more information. She needs to tell him more. Now.

But when he runs out of the apartment-door, Johanna Beckett is gone. Vanished. No where to be seen.

He lets himself fall on the ground again, not understanding what just happened and trying desperately to make sense of it, when his eyes fall on the newspaper on the door mat beside him.

He looks away again, deep in thought, when it strikes him. The newspaper! That's it. There must at least be a date.

But it's turned upside down.

And dammit, he cannot turn it around. He cannot even touch it. And as overwhelming the joy was, when he saw the paper, the desperation comes back into his system with the same force.

But suddenly an air draft comes through the corridor, although he cannot see where it could come from and hits the paper, lifting the right corner of the front page long enough so he can make out the date. He hears the faint whisper of Johanna Beckett again.

"Save her. Save my Katie."

And then his vision goes black.

* * *

"So, Mr Castle. I'm Detective Esposito, this is my partner Detective Ryan. Now how do you intend to explain all of this?" the hispanic looking Detective asks the writer, sitting down opposite him and rousing him from a slumber, while the other Detective remains standing at the door. "You had a good sleep?"

"Huh? What? Yeah... Yeah, I must've dozed off. Sorry. I... Where is Kate? I mean, Detective Beckett. Is she alright? What time is it?" Rick asks confused, having a hard time to find back to reality. And then suddenly the meaning of the dream he just had hits him with full force.  
Kate! The date on the paper was tomorrow. Tomorrow! Which means... Which means it's going to happen tonight. Shit, he's got no time for this, he needs to talk to her...

"... attempted murder charge here. This should be your first priority now, not where Detective Beckett is. "

Wait, what? Murder charge? What are they talking about?

"You really think we would tell you anyway? So that you can try to kill her again? Or inform your boss?"

"Whoa, slowly guys. I haven't got anything to do with this." Rick grits out, getting a little angry now. He's got no time for these stupid accusations. He needs to tell Kate... Well, what can he possibly tell her? She wouldn't even listen to him. He doesn't even know the exact time of the crime, or what time it can possibly be right now. He can only guess that it's around noon and that means he has only about 12 hours left.

Ok, ok. First priority, get the hell out of here. He has to do it right, he remembers the feeling from his dream clearly. He has to save her. He has to find a way, without telling the truth and wasting too much time. No one will believe him if he can't prove it, so there's no sense in even trying. He needs another strategy.

"This doesn't prove anything. I was just trying to save her. And I succeeded. So why the hell am I sitting here – handcuffed! – and no one is thanking me?"

"Mr Castle, the question is – how could you know that our boss was in trouble? It can't be a coincidence that you were there both times." Ryan adds for consideration.

"You can't even prove that I was at this – what did you say? Warehouse? And yes, it was just a coincidence that I was at the hospital." Rick bluffs, trying to find out how much they know. Maybe he can really get out of here, save her and collect some evidence to prove his story and then tell them the truth.

"Do you want to stick with this story?" Esposito asks him with a dangerous glare.

Before his brain understands the warning in the words of the Detective, his mouth has moved of its own accord.

"Yeah – "

"Great. Now you can spend the night here, buddy." Esposito answers with a self-satisfied smile to his partner.

"Why – What?"

Ryan comes over now and sits beside his partner, producing a folder with some pictures. "You lied to us." He states, pointing at the photos. "We can prove that you were at the warehouse and that you took Detective Beckett to the hospital. We found this –", he taps his finger onto one of the pictures, "in your trunk. And this in your laundry."

Shit. The foot mat of his car and his shirt – both with Kate's blood on it. He totally forgot about those.

"We also have evidence from the surveillance cameras at the hospital that you typed in the code to the ICU to get access. So it wasn't a coincidence that you were there. So, now tell us how the hell you knew where and when our boss would be attacked if you really just wanted to save her."

No no no no no! This can't be happening.

"I can't."

"You can't? What's that supposed to mean?" Ryan asks with a meaningful glance to his partner. But Esposito is just staring at this famous mystery writer as if he were a little fly he wanted to smoosh with his fist.

And Rick cannot even blame him. He never throught they'd have so much evidence against him. He always thought he would have been so careful, he spent so much time planning everything out and now this. He did everything wrong.

"It means that I cannot explain this. You'd never believe me." Rick answers slowly, his mouth suddenly dry, the knot in his stomach burning.

"Oh, you're damn right, man. I don't believe a word coming out of your mouth. You're a big fat liar and you're involved in this. Evidence proves it. And that's why you wanted to flee the country."

"Nothing screams 'I'm guilty' more than that." Ryan adds.

"I... I – what? I didn't wanted to leave the country, I – "

"Another lie. This looks worse for you with every word you say, man."

"But I –"

"Your friend Paul McKenzie told us. He called us while he was trying to convince you not to drive to the airport and set yourself off to Europe and turn yourself in instead."

"You can't be serious, guys. I wasn't planning anything like that. The fact is that I wanted to come here and talk to you, or to Kate – uhm Detective Beckett. But I wanted to collect some evidence first, that would prove my story. Because I knew you wouldn't believe me." Rick presses out, praying that they would believe him. It's the truth after all, can't they see that?

"That's bullshit!"

"Wait, Esposito. Let's just hear his story first, ok?" Ryan whispers to his partner, grabbing his arm.

"I don't see any sense in that. He's a liar. Why should we even listen to him if he can't prove any of it? He's a best-selling author after all, he gets paid to make up convincing stories that fool people, so why should we believe anything he says?" Esposito whispers back.

"I don't see any sense in that, either." Rick also whispers, earning a deadly look from both detectives, although he said that more to himself.

Looking at the evidence he knows they'd never let him go. He is trapped and there's no way out.

And suddenly the whole situation gets unbearable. He has to tell them what he knows, has to finally tell them the truth no matter if they believe him or not. It doesn't matter anymore, it's not important any longer. He's not a liar and he cannot go on like this. He just can't bear all this responsibility another minute longer.

This all has to come to an end, now, no matter the outcome. Even if they won't believe him, even if she... No, he couldn't bring himself to think any further. She will believe him. She will.

She just has to.

But while struggling with his conscience and debating if it should really be that easy to just lay everything out in the open and thus freeing himself from the responsibility for her life by letting her decide what to do with it, the feeling of failure and desperation and the gnawing fear of losing her becomes unbearable for the writer. He always thought that he could be her hero, her saviour. That she would thank him one day and fall in love with him. He always wanted her only for himself, ignoring the danger she was in. He suddenly realises that this was also a point why he hadn't gone to the police when there was still time.

But now all he wants is for her to live. Who saves her is not important any more. Only that she will be saved. It's not important any longer what happens to him.

He remembers his dream and the feeling Johanna woke in him.

He won't tell anyone about her though, it does sound too mad even to him, but he has to tell them everything else now. It's his last chance, the only thing left to do for her. And then he can only hope for the best.

"I wouldn't even believe myself. But this is important. She's still in danger. Someone will try to kill her tonight." Rick starts, feeling better with every word he says. He chooses his words slowly and cautiously, thankful for his feeling for words in general. Everything still depends on him. Depends on if he can get them, and especially her, to believe him. Because if not, and if she gets killed, it would be all his fault because he's been waiting too long. So much for giving up responsibility.

* * *

Kate Beckett isn't used to this feeling. She's supposed to be angry with him. To even hate him maybe, because he doesn't talk to her. Doesn't tell her who's behind all those attacks at her life and her mother's murder. He's the one she needs to break, she needs to go in there and -

She can't. Leaving aside the fact that Montgomery forbid it, she just can't look into his eyes and feel the anger she needs to make him talk. She feels a smile forming on her lips and tries to think about something other than these two blue orbs, those blue pools she wants to lose herself in, those mesmerizing eyes that were so near to hers in her dream. So promising and full of warmth.

No, she's definitely not used to feel any of this. And she hates it.

"Beckett, do you have a second?" Montgomery asks her when he enters the break room, where he finds her sitting at the table, a cup of coffee cradled with both hands and apparently deep in thought.

"Yeah... Yeah, sure." She answers slowly, trying to ban all those disturbing thoughts from her brain.

"I just talked with Ryan and Esposito."

"So you know his crazy story now, too." Kate sighs, hoping he wouldn't send her home now.

"I have to admit, I did stand behind the mirror the entire time they were interrogating Mr Castle. I heard every word he said. This is not really the point right now. But I don't want you around him until we've figured out if he's dangerous or not. Call it a day, Beckett. Go to a friend's. Spend a few days somewhere else..."

"Don't tell me you believe him!" Kate yells, forgetting for a second that it's her Captain she's talking to. She tries to calm herself down a bit by taking a deep breath. "Sorry, Sir, it's just -"

"I know, Kate. It sounds completely crazy what he says. But let's just be on the safe side. Don't go home. Spend a few days somewhere else and with protective detail and then we'll see that it was just false alarm."

"No, Sir, I am not playing his game. Maybe this is what he wants. Maybe this is the big plan. No, I won't let all this crazy stuff affect my life. I'll do what I always do and nothing will hinder me from doing that." Kate says, feeling the heat reaching her cheeks. She sounds like a stubborn, little child; even to herself. But she tries not to care about this now.

"Well, I can't tell you what you do in your free-time. It's just well-meant advice. But you'll get a PD, I don't care if you want it or not. And I don't want to see you here until next Monday."

"But, Sir, it's just Thursday. That's three days..." Kate sighs, knowing no matter what she might say, Montgomery's mind is set.

"Exactly. Have a good time Detective. Take care." He puts a comforting hand on her shoulder shortly and leaves the room again.

And there she is, alone with her thoughts again.

Why did Castle even come up with such a story. He's a mystery-writer, all right, but this - This is way too over the top, even for him. And yet... Yet her guts are telling her to be careful. There's something about this story, about those dreams, that makes her think about her own dreams of him. After all, she knows now that it was him who took her to the hospital and although she can barely remember anything from that night, when she closes her eyes and concentrates hard, she can see his face, hunching over hers. And she remembers his voice, remembers him telling her that it's 'gonna be alright' and that she's 'safe now'. Or was that just another dream? She's not sure. And yet again her guts are telling her, her instincts are telling her that she can trust him.

She shakes her head. No, not possible. She's just having a sensitive day.

She closes her eyes, takes another deep breath and limps to the sink where she pours the rest of her cold coffee down, and moves on to her desk, ignoring the bad feeling in her stomach as best as she can.

"Come on, Beckett. Let's get something to eat and then I'll drive you home." Esposito offers with an encouraging smile.

Kate nods in agreement, gathers her things and gets ready to leave the station.

But Ryan jumps up from his chair immediately, pulling his partner aside.

"Javier, what are you doing? This feels wrong man, don't drive her home." he whispers, hoping Beckett wouldn't get wind of this conversation.

"Why? You don't believe this jerk, do you? Ryan, he's a liar. He never told us anything, but lies. And this story? It's the biggest of all. My two year old nephew could tell you that."

"Yeah, but that's the point Javi. Why would he tell _such_ a story. A story that he knew no one would believe him. I've got a really bad feeling here. This is too dangerous."

"We got this, ok? I'm gonna drive her where ever she wants and two of our guys will have two eyes on her the whole night. And nothing's gonna happen. And in the morning we can accuse Mr one-brick-short-of-a-full-load here of another lie. So, everything's gonna be fine, you'll see." Esposito grins and leaves a frowning Ryan standing at their desks, while he helps their boss into her jacket and accompanies her to the elevator.

Sitting down slowly on his desk, Ryan sighs and runs both hands over his face. Well then, maybe Esposito is right. Maybe all this is just much ado about nothing and this writer, which they brought into a cell half an hour ago, is really not all there.

He swallows the following 'but' and it burns in his stomach all day.

* * *

Oh damn, how the hell did he end up here in this little dark cell? Not even he knows enough curse-words to throw around to make him feel better. Not that this was something that he would do normally, but now he feels very much like it.

He feels so torn he thinks he might rip into two parts. For the whole day already, no, even longer. If he's honest with himself - and what else is left now? - he feels like this since he met the woman of his dreams. Back in that dark alley where he saved her from being shot to death. It feels like ages ago although it's just a couple of weeks. So much has happened in between. So much he doesn't understand. How is he supposed to make her understand then? He doesn't know.

With a sigh he lets himself fall on the metal bench in the back of the small room, burying his face in his hands. He can see through the window in the concrete wall that the sun is already setting. And he doesn't even know where she is, what she's doing and if she's going to survive the night.

And there's nothing left he can do.

One part of him blames himself for telling the truth. The one who always told him that it was pointless, that it would only get worse if he did so. It's also the one who wanted to be her hero and who didn't want to share the tasks of saving her. The part who prevented him from taking action when there was still time. But also the part that told him he had to think about the consequences - when the press would get wind of all that - not only for him, but also for Alexis and his mother. What are they supposed to do now that he's sitting here and everyone thinks he's gone mad? He hadn't called them so far, still hoping there'd be a way out for him.

The other part in him was always convinced that the truth had to be told, right after he realised what his dreams meant for him. And for her. It was the part that didn't want to run away after saving Kate, that wanted to talk to her immediately, that didn't want to hide and wait until it was too late.

And those two opposites were fighting in him all the time until he couldn't stand it any longer. That was why he was so torn during the interrogation. But now that he made his decision he doesn't feel relieved like he had imagined. He just feels empty and exhausted. Because, to be honest, he didn't decide himself. It was his only option to tell them the truth. It was the only thing he had left, the only thing he could do.

And he cannot even be sure if it saved him from an attempted murder charge or not.

It's getting dark outside and Rick is too exhausted to catch another clear thought. He lays himself down on the bank and closes his eyes, drifting into sleep with the thought of letting Johanna Beckett down. And to never see the woman of his dreams again.


	10. Unexpected Help, Part II

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: **I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and came into the new year safely. **

**All the best for 2013!**

Here's part II of "Unexpected Help". I have to say that it cost me incredibly much willpower to write this chapter – I do love Beckett and it was very very hard to do this to her. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it nevertheless.

* * *

A scream wakes him up. It takes a few seconds for him to notice that it's his own voice.

His breathing is heavy and his head spins because he sat up so quickly, causing adrenaline to rush through his body. He holds his head in his hands until the earth stops spinning around him and he can think clearly again.

What the hell was that now? He can feel that he dreamt again, but he cannot remember one single thing. He just knows that it was important, he _feels_ that it will have a big meaning for the outcome of this night. It is already deep in the night, his cell is dark and the moon shines through the little window on his left.

Johanna Beckett's voice echoes in his head again.

"Save her. Save my Katie. Ryan will help you, he's a good guy. You can trust him. He'll do the right thing."

Wait! That's new! He didn't hear her say the last part. At least he cannot remember. But in his heart he knows it's true.

"Can't sleep either?" A low voice reaches him from outside his cell.

"Who is there?"

"It's me, Detective Ryan. I was nearby and just thought I'd check on you."

"Oh. _Oh._" _Make sure I'm still here. Got it. _"Yeah... No, I can't sleep. It's too much at stake, don't you think."

"If one believes what you said." Ryan states. He tries to be nonchalant, but the little shaking in his voice gives him away.

"Oh come on. There has to be someone out there who believes me. Her life depends on it, can't you see that? Please tell me that she's safe." Rick grunts out, the desperation obvious in his voice.

"You're really afraid, aren't you?"

"God, can no one see that? Of course I am. I've seen her lying there. _Dead!_ Dead, Dective Ryan. Covered in blood, her green eyes staring me down, and her mother - "

"Her mother?"

Shit! Rick bites his tongue, but it's too late. The words are already out there, hanging heavy and meaningful in the air between the two men.

"What do you know about Beckett's mother? Mr. Castle, this is serious. What is this all about? Beckett was right, you _are_ involved in all thi-"

"No, Detective Ryan, please you have to believe me, I am -"

"Why should I? I came here because I wasn't sure if you really just made all this up, I was the only one thinking your story _could_ make sense after all, but now -"

"Please. Please. Listen to me. I'll tell you everything, but we don't have time now. We have to safe Ka- uhm, Beckett. NOW! And then I'll tell you the last bit. I promise."

"No, absolutely no way. I'm done here. Good night." Ryan spits out, the taste of betrayal on his tongue and the disappointment burning in his stomach. He turns to leave, but Rick's words makes him stop in his tracks.

"You were in love with her."

* * *

"You sure you're OK?" Esposito asks Beckett when he parks the car.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I just need some quiet now, I'll read a little and then go to bed early. Maybe I'll visit my dad tomorrow, I don't know." she wanted to sound self-assured, but didn't really succeed. A stern look from her partner makes it clear that he noticed.

"Really, Espo, I'm fine. And our two friends over there - ", she points to a black SUV on the other side of the street, "will make sure I'll be safe. And tomorrow we'll see that it was absolutely pointless."

"Good, good. Call me some time tomorrow. And if you need something - "

"Okay, Javi, as I said, I'm good. Night."

She slams the door a little louder than necessary, to prove her point, not only to her fellow detective, but to herself as well.

It will be fine, all will be fine. She repeats this sentence in her mind like a mantra, while she stumbles towards the building and through the lobby. But she can't help the bad feeling in her gut as she rides the elevator upwards to her floor. The 'what if' bothers her to no end.

What if Castle told the truth? What if there's going to be another attack on her life tonight. There are obviously people out there who want her dead, so... It wouldn't be too far fetched. But how does he know all about it? How does he know when and where and _how_ it will happen, if he isn't involved in all this? Are those dreams really the explanation for all this?

She walks up to her door and turns the key, but she can feel that something is wrong. The feeling manifests when she enters her flat, and it proves to be right when she steps back and wants to reach for her phone to call Esposito. But it's already too late. Out of the shadows beside her door steps a man clothed in black and reaches for her arm, pulling her inside again and slamming the door shut behind them.

It all happens so quickly, Kate cannot even reach for her gun. She only feels a sharp pain at the back of her head and falls to the floor. Then her vision goes black.

* * *

"I saw Johanna Beckett in my dreams." OK, now it's out. And this will have to decide if he will be able to save his Kate. It all depends on Ryan now and if he believes him eventually. And if the memory of his latest dream, his latest talk with Johanna will come back to him in time. As it stands, the only thing he can remember is what he just called after Ryan. His desperation must've have triggered his memory and he hopes that there'll be more to prove what he's about to tell the Irish detective that somehow he really likes.

"You know her name."

"Of course I do, I talked to her."

"But... You could have read it somewhere."

"No. I mean... Yeah, I could've, but I didn't. I know she's dead Ryan -"

"For ten years, yeah!"

"Ten years? Oh... Anyway, listen to me. I saw her. I talked to her. I know it sounds ridiculous, just like the rest of my story, that's why I didn't want to tell you about it. But it's the truth. She wants to help, she wants me to save her daughter."

"So you mean she is responsible for your dreams?" Ryan says slowly, not really getting the meaning of his words.

"I don't know. It's really confusing for me, too. I just know that it's the truth."

"Then prove it."

"I can't."

"Then what did you mean by saying that I was in love with her. With whom?"

Rick takes a deep breath. Now or never. "With Kate."

The following silence takes his breath away. Ryan looks at his with eyes wide open, his mouth agape. And the truth visible in his eyes.

"With Beckett?" Ryan asks, his voice too high. "No, you must be - "

"Don't deny it. We both know it's true." Rick says with a firm voice, suddenly remembering more words Johanna said to him. And suddenly he realises why she told him those things.

"It was back then when you started here at the 12th. You - "

"Stop! Stop it. I wasn't in love with her. I... I admired her. Her strength and her will to fight for justice. Her devotion to the job. It's completely different."

"If you say so." Rick answers calmly, looking openly at him.

"Okay, okay. Fine. I was... Maybe I was a little smitten..."

"And that's totally understandable. She is a beautiful woman. She's impressive. She's... tall."

"Yeah. But don't get me wrong here, this is long past. We're best friends and I wouldn't want it any other way. I never told her."

"Hey, hey, no need to explain anything."

"How the hell can you know this anyway? I never, _never_, told anyone!"

"That's the point, that's what Johanna told me. She knew that no one else knew about this. It was the only way to convince you that I'm telling the truth."

"I can't believe that I'm asking you this..." Ryan said after a break, "What else did she tell you?"

"That you are a wonderful friend for Kate. That you care about her. And that you would do anything in your power to keep her safe." Rick says slowly, the words just coming out of his mouth even before he knows what he's going to say. "That you would always have her back."

"That's true... That's all true."

"Where is she at the moment?"

"At home, I think. She wanted to make a point and spend the night alone at home..." Ryan answers slowly, the meaning of his words sinking in.

"So if this is all true what Johanna said about you – why the hell don't you check on her? Why the hell don't you have her back now?"

Ryan swallows hard. This writer really tells the truth. It all makes sense now. It's still hard to believe that he has those dreams and that he was able to talk to a dead woman, but it's the only explanation why he can know all those things. He just feels that it's true. And that means – that means that Beckett really is in danger.

"I'll call her right away. Wait a minute."

"Please hurry."

"I'm on it."

"Did she pick up?"

"It's ringing."

"Come on, Kate, pick up. Did she pick up?"

"It's still ringing, Castle!"

Both men are pacing up and down, simultaneously, only divided by the bars.

"Voice mail." Ryan states, slowly lowering the hands in which he holds the phone. "I'll try again."

"Yeah. Yeah, do that." Rick says, suddenly feeling numb.

"Come on, Beckett, pick up! Come on! Ah, the voice mail again."

"What time is it, Detective?" Rick wants to know, the bad feeling getting unbearable.

"It's just after midnight, so - "

"Oh God!" Rick groans, knowing that it's possible that Kate is already lying dead on the floor in her apartment. "Please, we have to go and check on her."

"Maybe she's just taking a bath?"

"God, Ryan! Don't you get it? There is someone out there who wants her dead!"

"But she's got protective detail and - "

"I've _seen_ her dead! Lying on the floor in a puddle of her blood. Ryan, we need to drive over and check on her. Please!"

"We? You're under arrest. You can't come with me. I'll go."

"No, Ryan, please, let me come with you. I don't have my cell phone here and I need to know if she's okay. I can't wait until you're back here. Please don't make me wait here all this time. It's killing me!" Rick shouts, the desperation audible in his voice.

"I... I can't – Okay. Okay. It might me the most stupid thing I've ever done, but okay... But I need to handcuff you. And you stay in the car. And then we'll drive right back here and you don't say a word to anyone."

"Scout's honour."

"Then let's go."

* * *

"Ah, you're back already. Always causing trouble, huh?" a dark voice greets Kate when she slowly comes back to consciousness. But the fog in her mind is only disappearing slowly and she doesn't really get what's happening with and around her. Her vision is blurred and her head hurts so much she can barely manage to open her eyes.

But the voice of the man who is talking to her gives her the creeps.

Then the darkness comes back to her and she passes out again.

A sharp pain in the crook of her right arm brings her finally back and she realises that the haze in her mind has disappeared and she can think straight again. She opens her eyes and sees the needle of a syringe leave her arm. She wants to jerk back, but can't move an inch. The man who's kneeling beside her on the floor in the middle of her living room has tied her up. But she can see that the ties are only wrapped loosely around her arms and legs. It must be something he injected her with that makes her whole body immoveable.

She closes her eyes in agony. She's sick and tired of being tied up and unable to move. Why the hell does she always end up like this lately? And where's her protective detail? Oh shit, she really has to be more careful in the future.

And then it hits her. Castle said she was going to die tonight. Richard freaking Castle warned her that this would happen and she just hadn't believed him. And now all of this is actually happening and she cannot do anything about it.

Her heart sinks when the black clothed man returns to her side with a razor blade in his hand that reflects the light of the little lamp burning on a side table behind her. The rest of her apartment is dark.

The evil grin and the sparkle in the cold eyes of the man in front of her show her only too clearly that he enjoys this immensely.

Her mind is crystal clear, banking every detail it can in case –by some miracle – she survives this thing, she can use what she knows to catch the son of a bitch. But as it is, she can't help but running scenario after scenario – none of which end well for her, especially since she can't even lift her pinky finger and it costs her endless strength to speak.

"What... Why?" she manages, tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh, you're still able to speak? That's impressive, Detective, given the heavy dose I gave you. But I have forgotten the narcotics, it seems. Well, you'll get it right away. And then you'll sleep forever." the following chuckle makes Kate feel sick. Oh no, this can't be, there must be a way out of this –

Castle! He knows about all this, he'll –

No, he won't. He's sitting in a cell in the cellar of the 12th precinct. And she basically put him there. With no way out to save her this time.

So it was all true. His story about his dreams and that he was the one who saved her all those times. She knew it deep down in her heart all this time, her subconscious remembering a lot more than she thought. It all fits together now, it all makes sense. Only now it's too late.

The man comes back with another syringe and a wide grin on his face. If he enjoys all this so much, maybe she can get him to talk, if she's going to die anyway. Maybe she can play for a little more time, maybe her PD will come and check on her. Way too many 'maybes', but she doesn't have another option. It cannot end like this. She can't let that happen. She can't go without telling him that she believes him.

"Why?" she asks again, just before the needle hits her arm.

"Why should I tell you?" the brown-haired man asks back nonchalant, but at least stopping his task.

"'Cause 'm... gonna die... anyway." she manages, hoping her knowledge of human nature doesn't fail her this time.

"Hm, that's right. Yeah, what can it hurt? We have already won. Fine, Detective, I'll tell you. But first the narcotics. Then you can listen until you fall asleep."

Kate feels a cold shiver run over her body upon hearing those words.

And when the needle hits her arm she feels the pain, but it doesn't bother her anymore. It's over. The man they sent to kill her didn't swallow her bait, apparently they had sent someone this time who plays it safe. His forerunners got suckered and it seems that he wants to make sure it doesn't happen to him as well. Her bad. She can already feel the impact of the drugs he gave her, while she thinks about destiny. Maybe it's her fate to die now, at the hands of those men who want her dead. She'd escaped them twice – or maybe even more, she actually has no idea how often exactly Castle had already saved her life – maybe this time it's final. Maybe you can't rewrite your story, maybe you can't escape your destiny. Maybe it's her time to go now.

She can hear the low voice of her killer from far away.

"You already know that this is also about your mum's murder, right? I don't know much about this, but I can tell you that my 'employer' had something to do with it. And he found out that you made detective a few years back and thinks that you are too dangerous for him now. So you have to disappear. End of story."

"But... but they'll investigate... my murder... and this will lead them... to you... and him..." It's not only hard to speak, it's also difficult to think clear by now. Again. It takes all of Kate's will power to force those words out. She might be broken, but she hasn't lost her hope yet, maybe she can talk him into changing his plans after all.

"No, they won't. I already typed a suicide note on your personal computer. They will find it as soon as they switch the monitor back on. And then they will think that you couldn't stand it anymore that someone wanted you dead, that you were afraid of the way they would try to kill you next time and that you wanted to decide for yourself how your life was going to end. And don't worry about the stuff I injected you with, we've already tried it lots of times, they won't even find traces in your blood. There'll be absolutely nothing. And last but not least - " he said while he put the razor blade up from the floor with his gloved hands, "there'll be only your fingerprints on this blade. See?"

He unties her arms carefully, so as not to leave any traces behind. The ropes were only wrapped loosely around her anyway, so they wouldn't cause any marks. They really thought this through.

He takes her right hand and pushes the blade between her thumb and pointer finger, holding it in place with his own hand around them. Then he lowers her hands onto her left arm and begins to cut into the soft flesh there.

Kate is a little thankful for the drugs he gave her. She feels the pain in her arm, but the drugs take the edge off and so it's bearable. At least it's bearable. Only the feeling of her warm blood running over her skin makes her feel sick.

Her last thought goes to Castle and the regret that she hadn't trusted her instincts and believed him sooner.

* * *

"Come on, Ryan, faster!"

"Castle, stop shouting at me. I won't say it again. I need to concentrate on driving, so stop yelling at me. I'm going as fast as I can."

The loud sound of the wailing siren hurt his ears and the fear of being too late takes his breath away. Only the fact that he managed to convince Detective Ryan and is actually sitting beside him in a police car on the way to Kate's apartment settles him slightly. He did it, with her mother's help. He cannot really quite believe it, and he cannot even rejoice over this, too frightening is the thought of finding Kate already dead, just like in his dream.

Also Ryan can feel the suspense hanging in the air.

Neither of them says another word until Ryan parks his car behind a dark SUV. Ryan jumps out of his police criuser and sees in the corner of his eye that Castle does the same.

"Woah, Castle, no! Back in the car. We had a deal, right?"

"But Ryan, please, I need to - "

"Stay in the car, yes. Now sit down and show me your handcuffs." Ryan demands, and Rick knows he doesn't stand a chance here. The Detective opens his handcuffs and Rick face lits up. But only until he realises that he had handcuffed his right hand to the car.

"No, Ryan, you can't do that, please - " But the detective is already on the way to the black SUV and ignoring him successfully.

"Oh shit!" Ryan shouts, his face pale in the light of the streetlamps.

"What's wrong?" Rick shouts over to him, but he doesn't answer. "Come on, Ryan, talk to me! What's wrong? Is that -"

"Beckett's protective detail. They're dead, Castle. Shot right through the windscreen."

"Oh my God. Kate!"

Ryan is already running over the street and towards the building and then vanishes in the shadows and Rick is alone in the quiet street again.

Okay. Cuff me once, shame on you. Cuff me twice, shame on me_._

Thank God he carries a spare key for handcuffs in his wallet. He fishes them out and is able to free himself. He's never been a scout, so he doesn't feel bound to the vow anyway. Ryan would understand. Kate is his first priority. Nothing else matters in this moment.

Rick enters the building, but he has no idea where to go from the lobby. He doesn't know which floor her apartment is located on. He can't even remember the number on her door. What now?

He decides to just follow his instinct and hopes to find something familiar to somehow orient himself.

And suddenly his feet move of their own accord and carry him right to her door step where Ryan is standing, talking agitated into his phone.

"- yeah, I need an ambulance right now. A female with significant blood loss – Castle! No!" the shocked detective sees Rick too late, he's already through the door to her flat. Ryan's phone clatters to the floor and while he's occupied with picking it up, Rick reaches his Kate and the image turns his stomach around. It's the exact picture he saw in his dream a few hours ago.

He falls to the ground beside her, ignoring the sharp pain in his knees, too overwhelming is the pain in his chest. He slowly reaches out for her face with shaking fingers. Tears are forming in his eyes and then he cannot hold it back any longer.

"Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever.

Ryan could only stand there helplessly, informing the ambulance and his Captain of the events and then finally flopping himself onto the floor beside Kate's door, waiting for help and staring numbly at the floor in front of him.

* * *

**A/N:** Another cliffhanger, I'm sorry. But this is just so much fun. I'm already working on the next chapter and it shouldn't take me too long to update. And then you won't get another cliffy, promise. ;-)


	11. The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: I'm really having a blast writing this story right now. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I have enjoyed writing it. :-)

* * *

_Come dream, through the night.  
Come dream, and then tomorrow  
You'll see, your heart will know.  
Dreams are more precious than gold_

_('Dreams are more precious' ~ Enya)_

* * *

_Previously: Ryan could only stand there helplessly, informing the ambulance and his Captain of the events and then finally flopping himself onto the floor beside Kate's door, waiting for help and staring numbly on the floor in front of him._

Rick is back in his cell when the sun slowly rises over New York again. They let him take a shower to wash all the blood away and gave him some ugly orange prison clothing. But nobody talked to him, nobody told him what was going to happen to him now or if there was any news on his Kate. He dares not to call her this aloud, tries to get used to calling her 'Beckett', but in his head she will always be 'his Kate'.

He will never forget the moment when they ripped Kate's body out of his arms and took her away. The image of her lying on the stretcher, disappearing into the night and the knowledge of the possibility to have seen her for the very last time make him sick.

He's all alone with his thoughts, imagining one worst-case-scenario after another, only feeling more miserable with each passing minute.

The solitude is killing him, just like the uncertainty. And the combination of them both is a real torture.

He jumps up again, pacing his cell for the umpteenth time. He fears that they will actually be able see the line he went up and down in the concrete floor.

There has to be someone, _anyone_, out there who isn't oblivious to his agony.

Just when he thinks he might go crazy any second, he can hear a voice.

"Hello, is someone there? Please, I need to know if -"

"She survived?" Captains Montgomery's calm voice reaches him, before he turns around a corner and comes in sight.

"Yea- Yeah. Captain. Montgomery. Uhm... Sir." Rick stutters, feeling the uncertainty of his and Ryan's future press down on his shoulders. He almost forgot that they must've broken about a hundred rules last night.

"To be honest, we don't know that yet. When she came into the hospital her condition was very critical. Ryan was there all morning and told me that she's better now, but they have to run more tests on her. And until they get the results, everything is up in the air."

"God no." Rick groans. His heart had hoped until this very moment that there was the possibility that it wasn't _that _bad and that she just needed some stitches at her wrists and maybe a blood-transfusion and then everything would be fine again; apparently it wasn't that easy. The realisation that her life is still in danger and there's finally nothing he can do about it now is almost unbearable for him.

"Is there a way to inform me about her condition? Can someone let me know if anything changes? If she gets better? If she -" _dies._ He thinks, but pushes the thought aside as quickly as he can. "Please, Captain, I can't stand this uncertainty." Rick finally begs when his ragged breath has calmed down a little.

Captain Montgomery only stands there opposite him and watches him critically.

But finally a little smile forms around his mouth and his eyes get softer.

"You really care about her, huh? I'll see what I can do about this. But I want to know more about last night first. I already heard Detective Ryan's report, now I want to know what you have to say to the events." he says calmly, appearing more put together than he is. Of course Beckett's condition affects him, but he has a job to do and now he wants to find out what exactly motivates this man, how he reacts in critical situations and find out exactly what motivates this man. He's long convinced that this writer is telling the truth, the events of the last night and Ryan's searing speech in defence of him made it all too clear that they should listen closely to him, no matter how crazy his story sounded a few hours ago. And what their suspect told him just an hour ago convinced him completely of the innocence of the man in front of him. But to get a closer insight into his mind, he decided to not tell him that he planned on letting him go after this talk.

"Captain Montgomery, please don't be too hard on Ryan. Detective Ryan. He really just wanted to do the right thing. I know that he should have driven alone and left me here, but I just couldn't stand the prospect. So he agreed to take me with him, but cuffed me to the car. He really tried to do the right thing. Please, I was the one who acted in the wrong way, I didn't do as he told me. I didn't want to cause him trouble, I just wanted... I wasn't able to think straight, I just... Please he only wanted to help - "

"You can stop it now, Mr. Castle. It's remarkable how you two 'work' together. Detective Ryan says the same about you. You both know that he wasn't allowed to take you with him to a possible crime scene, especially not when you were under suspicion. But I trust my Detectives. And when we look at the events, you two have done the right thing after all. Without you, Detective Beckett would most definitely have bled to death. So, I don't understand how you do that, or what that is that you see in your dreams, but apparently it is quite useful. And not a crime. So, Mr. Castle, first of all- " he says while opening the door of Rick's cell, "you're free to go."

"Wait, what? I'm... what?" Rick asks, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You can go home. You were here all the time when Detective Beckett was attacked and you were the one trying to save her at all costs. And even if I am putting my head above the parapet now, I do believe you. But – there are some rules that definitely need following now. And there will be no exceptions this time. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sir. Thank you. I - "

"Listen to me first before you thank me. This is really important. First, you should go home now and get some rest. And later, when you feel a little better, you can come back here and we talk some more. About your dreams and the last times you saved Detective Beckett's life. I want to know everything, every little detail. Together with Detectives Esposito and Ryan we want to try and find this son of a bitch. But we need your help here, anything that you can tell us might be important.

Second, you are not allowed to visit Detective Beckett at the hospital. This is very, very important. Nobody must see the two of you together. The guy who tried to kill Beckett in the hospital finally talked a little this morning when we told him he would have won and Beckett would be dead. He told us that the man behind all this already knows that there is someone out there who's always blocking his plans. And they're searching for him. So you really have to keep quiet now. I have instructed two of my men to follow you and keep you safe, but you know for yourself how dangerous these people that we are up against are. So, please, just be careful. You might want to inform your family about that. They could be in danger, too, if the dirt-bag finds out who you are."

Rick has to take a deep breath before he can answer. This is all just a bit too much right now.

"I'll send them both out of the country for a while. Thank you, Sir. I really don't know what to say. I... Thank you."

"Officer Hastings will give your belongings back to you. She'll also hand you a card with my number on it. And I'll call you personally if anything chances concerning Detective Beckett's condition. Now go home, you look like you could really use some sleep."

* * *

"Hello Mr. Beckett." Ryan greets the pale man sitting in a chair beside Kate's hospital bed. It almost feels like a deja-vu.

"Detective Ryan." Jim Beckett answers shortly, his eyes weary and moist.

"Any news on her?"

"The doctor was here half an hour ago. He said that she was getting better; her vitals signs are improving, her brain activity is good, but I don't see that anything has changed. He said something else about 'blood toxicity' and her reflexes, but I'm not a medic, I can't tell you exactly what it was. But he also said she's in some sort of coma and they don't know why she won't wake up. Apparently there's no medical explanation for it. He said that they have the feeling that something is holding her back, but they don't know what. Ryan, if she doesn't wake up - " his voice breaks and he buries his head in his hands.

"Do you want to catch some air, Sir? I could keep watch here for you."

"No, no. I don't want to leave her side. I already lost my wife and I thought I lost my daughter, too, just a few days ago. And now we're all here again and this time it's not even sure that I'll get her back again. I can't – Ryan, I can't lose her." Jim says with tears running down his face.

"I know. We can't lose her either. And we're doing everything in our power to end this." Ryan answers, feeling the meaninglessness of his words ache in his chest. But what else can he tell this man?

Jim Beckett suddenly stands up, straightens himself and takes a deep breath. He comes over to Ryan and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"They told me you found her. Thank you. I am glad she's got such a caring partner."

"Thank you, Sir. But I wasn't alone. I can't tell you right now who the man is who convinced me to check on or her, or why he did what he did, but he is someone who cares deeply for her, too. When all this is over I'll make sure that you'll meet him."

"Oh... Okay. I'm going outside for a moment. You were right, I need some fresh air. But please inform me right away if something changes here."

Ryan watches the terrified man leave the room and takes his place on the chair beside Kate's bed.

He thinks about reaching out for her hand shortly, but hesitates halfway and decides against it.

The door opens and suddenly Esposito stands right beside him, looking as terrified as he must look himself. The sight of an unbelievably pale Kate Beckett lying once again in a hospital bed, surrounded by beeping machines and covered with tubes. She really looks more dead than alive.

"How is she doing?" Esposito asks, his voice only a whisper.

"It's still critical. They don't know if she can make it, yet."

"We're talking about Beckett after all, right? She can make it, she's strong."

Ryan opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again, gulping the harsh words down once more. He cannot remember if he's even been that angry with someone. But there's still the chance that Beckett can hear them somehow and he doesn't want to have this conversation in front of her, even if she's isn't awake. So he just balls his hands into fists and doesn't say anything.

Apparently the Hispanic Detective can sense the discomfort of his partner.

"Hey man, what's wrong? Come on, she'll make it, you'll see. She - "

"Stop, Javier. Just stop. You make me sick." Ryan hisses as quietly as possible and turns to leave the room. But Esposito grabs his arms and holds him back.

"Look, Kevin, I know I made a mistake, but - "

"Just save it, Javi. I don't want to talk now."

"But I wanna talk. Now."

"No, not here. I'll wait until Mr Beckett is back and then we can go and talk somewhere else. But leave me in peace until then." Ryan says with a stern voice. "I'm serious." He adds when Esposito opens his mouth once more.

It's right at this moment Jim Beckett enters the room again and both Detectives say their good-byes and leave the room hastily.

They walk out of the hospital in silence, but when they reach the car park Esposito can't stand Ryan's silence any longer. He turns around and blocks Ryans way.

"Hey man, I know I've done the wrong thing, but it'll be fine, you'll see -"

But Ryan doesn't even let him finish his sentence, he stops him by pushing him away from himself very hard. Esposito, who didn't see that coming almost falls to the ground.

"Hey what's wrong with you?" he asks astonished, the grin falling from his face instantly.

"What's wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with _you_? Our boss, our _friend_ is lying in there, dying, Javi!" Ryan spits out, pointing over to the hospital building with his right hand, "And you're still joking around. You were the one who brought her home, you even encouraged her to throw all caution to the wind. You left her there alone, when the man who attacked her was probably already inside her apartment. And now you're seriously asking me what's wrong with _me_?"

"Kevin, I couldn't know that this would happen. I wasn't the one who attacked her."

"But you didn't have her back, either."

"Next time, I'll -"

"Next time?! God dammit, Javi, there might not be a next time! Don't you get it?"

"I... Does it really look that bad?"

"Worse, Espo, worse. She's in a coma and they don't even know if - " He pauses for a second and runs a hand over his face. "She might never wake up again, Javier. They said if Castle and I had arrived only minutes later, she'd already be dead."

Esposito doesn't say anything to that. But Ryan can read in his face that he only just realised what he's done. And what he failed to do. So he leaves him standing there and walks over to his car to drive back to the precinct.

* * *

Only now that he has entered his quiet loft, Rick realises how exhausted he really is. He still stands at his closed front door, leaning his back against it and tries to gather the strength to move on. At least to the couch. But his body just won't move. His mind is still with her, every thought revolves around the woman of his dreams. At least he managed to call Alexis and his mother from the cab on his way home. He didn't tell Alexis the whole story because he didn't want to upset her, but with his mother he could be completely honest. It did him good that she listened to him and really tried to be an understanding mother. He gives her great credit for that. She promised to fly over to L.A. to take Alexis with her to make a trip to Europe until everything is settled here. Rick only has to talk to the headmaster of her school now, but he is optimistic that they will make an exception for her. Her grades are flawless and she is way ahead of the learning material. Maybe they could even send her some things via E-Mail while she is gone. He will find a solution, but now he just needs to sleep. His head spins after brooding all this time and he just needs some rest to be able to think straight again. He is in no shape to help his Kate right now. He just hopes that he doesn't wake up and she's gone.

Lying down on his comfortable couch, he falls asleep immediately.

When he opens his eyes again he stands in the middle of bright white fog. It's so dense he can barely see his feet, let alone the ground he stands on. He shortly wonders where he could be or why he found himself in such a strange place, but then his mind focuses on something else. He can feel her presence, she must be somewhere near.

Stumbling through the heavy fog he begins to search for her.

"Kate? Kate, where are you? Come on I know you're here. Kate?"

No answer.

He runs blindly around, but cannot find anything. There's nothing except for the damn fog.

But suddenly he hears a faint voice, _her_ voice.

He runs even faster into the direction the feeble calls come from.

"Castle? Are you... there?"

"Yeah, hold on, I'm coming to you. Stay where you are, or we're never going to find each other. I'm coming."

But when he finds her, he realises quickly that she couldn't have moved anyway. She is lying on the ground – he can see so little, he almost fell right over her – barely awake, but her half closed eyes are searching for him.

"Kate! Oh my God, what's wrong with you?" he asks, while sinking onto his knees beside her and trying to help her up. But she's too weak and so he just pulls her onto his lap and holds her close to him.

"I... I don't know. I'm so tired." she answers awfully slowly. It sounds as if every word costs her indescribable strength. "Where are we?"

"I have an idea. But that's not important now. You're here with me, that's all that counts."

If she isn't comfortable with the way he holds her and the words he whispers into her ear, she doesn't say it. The possibility that she's too weak to resist just doesn't cross his mind.

"Cas – sle. Please, where are we?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you anyway." he answers and is a little shocked by the sadness in his voice. The reaction in her face tells him that she must feel similar.

"Please?" she whispers so softly, if Rick hadn't have been right beside her, he wouldn't have heard it.

"OK, fine. We're in a dream. I fell asleep on my couch and when I opened my eyes again I was here. And you're - " he stops, looking at her.

"I'm - ? Dead?"

"N-no. I... I don't think so." _And I don't want to even think about this possibility. _"You're in hospital, Kate. You're also... sort of... asleep."

"Sort of?"

He sighs. It's no use to hold it back. He has to be honest with her, even if it might cause her pain.

"You're in a coma. You need to wake up, Kate. Please. Wake up."

She hums in response, but the shakes her head no.

"I'm too tired, Castle. I just wanna sleep."

"Kate, please this is important. Come on, you have to fight."

"I don't want to fight anymore. Let me sleep."

"No! No, I can't do that. You're a fighter. Come on, please. You need to wake up. You can do this, I know you can. I've seen you for so many years in my dreams, I know you Kate. And I know you can do this! You have to do this. There are people out there who need you. I – I need you."

He cradles her even closer to him, their noses are almost touching and suddenly she opens her eyes a little wider and he can see a spark in them. Their faces move even nearer together, as if they were drawn together like magnets and, before he knows what he's doing, his lips are on hers.

With a jolt she sits wide awake in her hospital bed, the feeling of the kiss still on her lips.


	12. When Everything Finally Makes Sense

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: Sorry that it took so long again for me to update this story. I had a little trouble with this chapter and rewrote some parts and arragend it differently multiple times. But now it's finally ready. :-) And it's another long one. ;-)

Enjoy!

* * *

_Let the old dreams die  
Like stars that fade from view  
[...]_

_You see your shame  
But I see your glory  
You've read one page  
I know the story_

_(__Dreams I Dream For You ~__ Avalon)_

**When Everything Finally Makes Sense**

_Previously: With a jolt she sits wide awake in her hospital bed, the feeling of the kiss still on her lips._

At the same time, Rick also jolts awake on his couch, a thousand thoughts fire through his head.

What the hell was that? Was I – was she – ? Is she - ?

He jumps up, suddenly wide awake again, although a look at the clock shows him that he's only been sleeping for about 20 minutes. Running a hand through his hair in front of the mirror right beside his wardrobe and getting the next best jacket and his keys, he runs out of the loft again.

As soon as he rushes out of the elevator, he gets out his phone with shaking fingers and dials Captain Montgomery's number. His heart is beating like crazy and the few seconds the Captain needs to pick up feel like hours.

"12th precinct, Captain Montgomery speaking."

"Hello Sir, this is Rick Castle. Is there any news on Detective Beckett? Did she wake up yet?"

"No, Mr Castle, I'm sorry. As I promised, I'll call you as soon as I hear something from the hospital."

"Okay, thanks. I'm coming over to the precinct now." Rick informs the Captain while he waits for a cab.

"I told you to get some rest, remember?" Montgomery's stern voice sounds through the mobile phone.

"I know, but I just can't relax now, Sir. I slept for about 20 minutes and now I'm wide awake again, please just let me help."

"Of course, Mr Castle. I understand. I'll be in my office on the 5th floor."

"Thank you, Captain. I'll be there in 20." Rick says relieved, getting into a cab and telling the driver the address of the precinct while putting his phone away again.

He still wonders what just happened in his dream. She was there, and she was awake, talking to him and he was even able to touch her. Did that really mean that she was dead? Like her mother – who could talk to him and touch him in his dream? The thought causes a cold shiver to run through his entire body. And suddenly his mouth is dry, all the liquid gone to the palm of his hands which are uncomfortably sweaty. No, this can't be. There must be another explanation. He refuses to believe that he's lost her. Maybe it was just a special dream? And then he remembers that there were even two other dreams previously that were similar. The one when he saw her standing at the crossroads – and he was sure she saw him, too – and the one while she was lying unconscious in the hospital the last time. When they almost kissed. And now they actually did kiss. Definitely. He can clearly remember the softness of her lips beneath his own.

No, she isn't dead, there is another explanation why she was in his dreams those three times – contrary to all those other dreams he saw her in over the last years - he just has to find it.

His ringing phone rips him out of his thoughts.

"Castle." he answers, still dwelling on his previous thoughts.

"Mr Castle, it's Captain Montgomery again. The hospital just called. She woke up, a few minutes ago. You really have to explain that. You call me asking if she woke up yet, and two minutes later the hospital calls and tells me that she did. Now tell me, did you have something to do with that?"

But Rick doesn't answer. After Montgomery said 'She woke up' he stopped listening. He couldn't help it, the world suddenly started to spin around him and he only heard these little three words – these marvellous words – repeating in his head over and over.

She woke up.

Best. News. Ever.

"Mr. Castle?"

"Uh, sorry Sir? I was... I just..."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Montgomery answers and Rick can hear a smile in his voice. "Just come here and then we'll talk calmly."

* * *

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" Lanie asks her best friend while entering her room in a rush. "I was just on the way to you when they told me you woke up!" She exclaims while sitting beside Kate on the bed and glomps her.

"Ouch, Lanie. Careful." Kate winces.

"Oh sorry! I'm so sorry, it's just – I'm so glad you're back." Lanie answers, looking at her gently and settling for just caressing her right arm.

"It's okay." Kate smiles. "I'm glad to be back, too. I never thought - " _I'd wake up again when I closed my eyes in my apartment. _She doesn't need to say anything like that aloud, she can see in Lanie's eyes that her friend understands.

"So, how are you? Can I do something for you? Are you thirsty? Or - "

"I'm fine, Lanie, thank you. It's just... My whole body hurts and my head is killing me, but it's okay, really. My dad is just gone to get me a little to eat, but I don't think I can get down much. And I'm still feeling a little dizzy, but the doctor said that this is normal. They were all pretty surprised that I woke up so suddenly."

"Yeah, me too. Do you remember anything from the coma? Or is it just all a big black hole?" The M.E. asks, curious. Not only because Kate is her best friend, but also because she is a medic and that brings a natural curiosity for things like this with it.

Kate hesitates for a moment. Should she say what she remembers? Or will everyone think she's crazy when she tells the truth? And suddenly a deep sadness rushes over her, Castle's words in her ears. _'You'd never believe me if I tell you the truth.'_

What has she done to this man?

"Kate? Everything OK? Shall I call the nurse? Are you feeling -"

"I'm okay. I'm fine, it's just..." Kate interrupts her friend. "I do remember one thing. But please promise me that you'll never tell anyone."

"Of course, dear! You have my word. What is it?" Lanie asks excited.

"I remember something about Castle." she finally states.

"Castle? The Richard Castle? Who saved you again?"

"Oh, you know, too? It already did the rounds, huh? My dad told me that he and Ryan came to my apartment last night and - Well, you know. They let Castle go, didn't they?"

"Yeah, Captain Montgomery sent him home this morning. I really can't believe that he told the truth all this time. It's incredible that this is even possible!" Lanie exclaims, shaking her head.

"Yeah, right? I feel so bad, I really did him wrong."

"No need to, girlfriend. We're all just humans and this is really... a weird thing."

Kate hums in response, closing her eyes for a moment. The impact of all this hitting her hard. How does it come that this is happening to her?

"Honey, if you need some rest just tell me. We can talk later." Lanie tells her, laying a reassuring hand on top of Kate's, carefully avoiding the white bandages at her wrists.

"Yeah... Can you come by again later today? I think I'll be better then." Kate sighs, not opening her eyes. It's just all a big mess in her head and she really needs some time to unravel everything. And she's still so very tired.

"Okay, I'll come tonight after my shift. Get better soon, sweetie. And welcome back."

Kate doesn't even catch her leaving the room, she's already asleep again.

* * *

"Okay, Mr Castle, I don't know if I really understood all this." Captain Montgomery says slowly, looking over to the Detectives Esposito and Ryan. The four men are standing in the bullpen, right before Captain Montgomery's office. The whole place is abandoned, Montgomery told Rick that every officer is currently out there, looking for a man that a neighbour of Kate saw walking down the floor moments before Rick and Ryan arrived there. He told them that she was one of them and that they have to do anything in their power to get her out of this nightmare.

Rick knows they don't need to be told twice.

"Man, are you telling us you really dreamt of her for years now? And – and that you talked to her mother? And that you kinda 'met' her in your last dream and helped her to wake up?" Esposito asks once more.

"Yeah, I'm afraid so." Rick answers truthfully, realising that it sounds really weird summed up like this. He told them every little thing he experienced over the last few days, but he left out the things Johanna told him about Ryan - earning a relieved smile from him – and the fact that he kissed Kate in his last dream.

"Although this sounds – well – you know... Evidence is speaking for you. Let's set aside the fact that we can't explain this. We need to use that now to our advantage. Mr Castle you need to call me immediately from now on, when you see that Detective Beckett is in danger, you understand me?"

"Of course, Sir."

"Good. Ryan and Esposito will fill you in now." he gestures to the murder board standing at the far edge of the room. "Show him everything we've got so far, maybe he can help us see some things clearer." He tells the two Detectives, who still don't even look at each other.

While Captain Montgomery returns to his office, the three other men walk over to the murder board, a picture of Kate hanging in the middle of it and some pictures from surveillance-cameras and corresponding information, written by three different hands surrounding them. Rick also finds a picture of him hanging there under the inscription "suspects". Ryan, who must've followed his look, takes it away immediately.

There's another photo of a man hanging there, right under the spot where his own picture hung moments ago and Rick can't take his eyes off of this man, while sitting slowly down on a chair beside a desk. It's the guy who tried to kill his Kate in the hospital. Those cold, grey eyes of his seem to follow him wherever he goes.

Esposito is talking about time-lines and possible scenarios, but Rick doesn't really listen. He's too captivated by the man's face. He still cannot get rid of the feeling that he's already seen this guy, even before he collided with him at the hospital.

"Castle? Everything OK?" Ryan asks him, fawning his right hand before his face.

"Uhm... Yeah. I mean, no... I – I don't kn – SHIT!" Rick exclaims, the penny finally dropping.

"Guys, I've seen this man - " he jumps up from the chair beside Kate's desk and picks the picture up from the wall, "before. And I don't mean at the hospital. It was -. Oh my God. No, this can't be, this... Oh no."

"What is it, man? Where did you see him?" Esposito wants to know, a side glance to Ryan, but his partner looks away immediately.

"I – I don't understand this. I have completely forgotten about him. He was supposed to be my friend and – Tell me, what exactly did Paul McKennzie say about me."

"How's that relevant? I mean, sure, we need to talk about that, too. He called us to bring you in, so I asks myself what was this about?" Ryan asks.

"I've seen this guy coming out of Paul's flat when I visited him a few days ago." Rick states, the whole betrayal of his so called friend slowly sinking in.

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I remember him. Especially his eyes. Those cold, grey eyes gave me the chills. And they still do. And this explains why Paul told you I wanted to flee the country. He always told me to stop trying to save Ka – Beckett's life. And when you came for me, he was the one who held me there, trying to make me stay. I remember now that he seemed nervous, looking out of the window and checking his watch. He said it would be the best for me, but he only thought about what was best for him. And there's only one explanation for all those things - " Rick states slowly, taking a deep breath and hanging the picture of their suspect back to the wall, "My so called friend Paul is involved in all this."

* * *

When Lanie enters the hospital room the next day, Kate already sits in her bed and looks way better than the day before.

"Lanie, good to see you. Do you have some news for me? Captain Montgomery doesn't tell me anything." Kate greets her best friend with a huge smile.

"Hi honey. You really seem better, huh?" Lanie smirks.

"Yeah, I'm feeling really good again. And the doctor's pleased with my blood-results, he said that whatever I'd been injected with won't have caused any permanent harm. Bad thing is, it didn't leave any traces, either. So they still don't know what it was. Anyway, he said that if my condition improves even further, I can try to walk a little tomorrow – as well as I can with this damn walking cast - and I can get out of here early next week. Could you take care of my apartment till then? Maybe clean everything up a little? I'll make it up to you ASAP, I promise."

Lanie, who opened her mouth to try to say something three or four times during Kate's enthusiastic speech, was a little speechless by now.

"Kate, sweetie, forensics' not ready with your apartment and even _if_ they are by next week, you can't possibly want to go back there then. Have you still not learnt anything? They almost killed you. It was minutes. Only _minutes_, Kate! We wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation, if Ryan and Castle hadn't found you just _in time_. Besides, Montgomery already talked to me and we think it will be best if you move in with me for now. And your father will be moving to his cabin. We'll get everyone near to you and Castle away, so - "

"Castle? What about him? Why - "

"If you would just let me tell you, you'd know." Lanie interrupts her this time with a raised eyebrow, but the smirk doesn't leave her face and her eyes are sympathetic and warm.

"Okay, fine." Kate gives in, the prospect of not returning home turning her mood sour.

"Good. You know that we all just want the best for you. As long as those people who want you dead are out there, it's too dangerous to let you just go back home. The best would be to send you far away, but everyone who knows you can tell that you'd never accept that. So the Captain, the boys and I thought it would be best if you'd move in with me until it's safe again for you. And for Castle... Well, apparently those people know that there's someone who helps you. And they're trying to find him. He sent his mother and daughter to Europe and is not allowed to contact you in any way. For his own safety. He wanted to come here and check on you and I shall pass on his well-wishes. He'll be in danger, too, if they find out that it was him who kept you safe." Lanie answers seriously.

"Oh Lanie, this is all my fault." Kate murmurs.

"No. Absolutely not. And you know that. It's their fault."

"You're right." Kate sighs, closing her eyes for a moment. She didn't see this coming.

"So, that's settled now? I'll come and get you out of here as soon as the doctor gives the green light. They don't know that we're friends, so they won't suspect that you're at my place. But we have to be careful nevertheless."

"Yeah, sounds like a plan." Kate answers slowly, trying to hide her frustration about the situation. But Lanie knows her friend and doesn't take it personal. On the contrary, she really looks forward to spending some girl's nights at her apartment with her best friend.

"So, and now tell me what you wanted to talk about yesterday. You said you remember something from the coma." Lanie asks excited.

"Yeah... I do." Kate states slowly, looking around the room. "Okay, Lanie, I'll tell you. But I'm serious, I haven't told anyone so far – not even my dad or Montgomery – and I don't want anyone else to know, okay?"

"Sure. What is it? What's your big secret?"

"I remember seeing Castle. In some sort of a dream. I don't know what it was. I kind of 'met' him."

Lanie's eyes get bigger and bigger.

"He... He talked to me. Held me in his arms, because I was so tired I couldn't even move. He told me that I was still alive and in some sort of coma. Told me I needed to wake up."

"Oh my God, Kate! This is – this is..." Lanie can't even remember when she was _that _speechless.

"Yeah, right? Completely crazy! I know..."

"And that's why you woke up? Because he told you you have to? Wow, this is - "

"No, there's something else." Kate takes a deep breath. "He kissed me."

"He – what?"

"He kissed me, Lanie. And right at that moment I woke up. But it felt so real. I could still feel his lips on mine and... I don't know. All this is just so -"

"Weird? Yeah, most definitely. But honey, don't you get it? It all fits together. It proves your connection to him once more. Or his connection to you, whatever. Don't you see how amazing that is? And he kissed you awake! This is sooo swe-"

"Don't you dare to say something like that." Kate says in her best no-nonsense detective voice.

But Lanie only laughs happily.

"This is absolutely not funny. It scares me like hell."

"I'm sorry, Kate. You're right. It might be magical - "

"Oh damn, Lanie. Now you said it."

" - for someone else, Kate. But when I think about how I'd feel if this happened to me... I understand that it's not funny for you. I do. But... Try to leave it aside that this sounds crazy and just be thankful for it."

Kate just sends a glare over to her.

"Anyway, everyone knows that this man is head over heels in love with you. How do you feel about him? After this kiss?"

"It wasn't a real kiss - "

"You said it felt real."

"Lanie. Stop it. I'm not talking about it any more."

"Fine. But we'll spend many many evenings together and I'll get you to talk someday soon." Lanie smirks, way too pleased with herself for Kate's taste.

* * *

It's already deep in the following night when Ryan, Esposito and Castle decide to take a little break and get something to eat. Castle immediately jumps up from his chair and announces that he'll go and get some Chinese. Finally something useful to do for him.

Esposito and Ryan stay alone in the break room, an awkward silence surrounding them.

"Hey Ryan - " Esposito begins, but Ryan turns and walks towards the door.

The Hispanic Detective holds his partner back by his arm.

"Come on, bro. Listen to me. Look, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I realised that I made a terrible mistake. But you can't blame me for not believing this man. I'm only a human and his story was – I know I always make fun of you for being so sensitive, but I promise I'll never do that again. I'm glad that you are open for those things when I am not. We're partners, after all. And we're Beckett's partners, as well. She needs both of us, Kevin. I know you're angry and you have every right to be, but can't you put that aside? Until she's safe again? We need to work together here, as a team. She counts on us, we can't let her down. Can – can we agree on this?"

Ryan didn't say a word during his partner's speech, but his face softened with every word. Finally Esposito admitted that he wasn't as tough as he wanted everyone to believe. And he could feel that he meant every word. Well, so it was hard shell, soft core after all. How could he possibly still be angry with him?

He slaps his friend on the shoulder and smiles at him.

"It's fine, Javier."

"Thank you. Now let's get our boss out of this mess."

"But what options have we got left? This grey-eyed monster doesn't say a word, we still haven't found the man who attacked Beckett in her flat – although she was able to describe him perfectly this afternoon - and this Paul-guy has vanished into thin air."

Esposito opens his mouth, but he doesn't know what to answer. Ryan is right, unfortunately. They got nothing.

"Food's here." Rick announces while entering the break room again and putting the white cardboard boxes onto the table.

The three men sit down to eat when Rick receives a message on his phone. His face turns white, while he reads it.

"What's up, man?" - "What's wrong?" Esposito and Ryan ask him simultaneously.

But Rick is not able to answer. He just turns his cell around and shows the two Detectives the message he just received.

"_Rick, you have to believe me that I'm really sorry. But I have no other option. They know you are my friend and threatened to kill me if I don't tell them everything about you and your involvement in their failed attempts to kill this Detective. I'm on my way over to them. Run! -Paul"_

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I'm back with a cliffhanger - sorry. But it's just so much fun! :-)_  
_**


	13. When You Do The Wrong Things For The Rig

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: Okay, guys, I'm sorry. I know you probably want to kill me after this chapter, but I couldn't help it. It just made perfect sense as it is and I don't know where else to put the last paragraph. So I put it there.

To **Rgoodfellow64**: Please don't hate me. ;-)

* * *

"_Now i'm standing here alone  
waiting on my own_

_for something that will fill the emptiness inside...  
The moment that you're mine"_

_(__"__Dream Of You" - __Schiller with Heppner)_

**When You Do The Wrong Things For The Right Reasons**

"Are you sure that you don't want to come with me?" he asks, the concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah, I'd rather stay here. I'm done running away and although I'm sort of hiding at Lanie's, I'm still close by if something happens and she can easily fill me in when there are any new leads or something else. And I'm the one who has to identify this guy, you know? I – I need to have this, I couldn't stand being so far away without really knowing what's going on." Kate answers, the words heavy on her heart.

"But, Katie, if something happens to you -"

"It won't." the still pale woman answers a little more harsh than she intended. She's standing in front of her bed and fights her frustration about her still so badly aching body.

"But you nearly died – multiple times – in the last few days -" Jim Beckett's voice breaks. Kate regrets her tone immediately; her father is the last person she should take her frustration out on.

"Daddy?" Kate says in a more tender tone to catch her father's attention.

It works. Jim Beckett stops in his tracks and looks at his daughter critically. She hadn't called him this since she was, what, 13? He moves forward and takes his daughter into his arms.

"What is it, Katie-bug?"

"It'll be okay, I promise. I'll be more careful now. And there's someone watching over me. He – I can't tell you everything right now, but he'll make sure I'll be safe. And from now on, I'll listen to him."

"What can he possibly do to make sure you won't get killed? I don't think - "

"Okay, dad. I can tell you this much: There's someone out there who, well, has some sort of... He just knows when something terrible is going to happen to me. He sees it. I know this sounds absolutely crazy, but he was able to save me all those times. And now, that I know that he tells the truth, I'll listen closely to him. He'll see it, before it will happen. So please don't worry. I'll be safe." Kate struggles with the words. She realises once again how unfair her behaviour concerning Castle was. And how difficult it must've been for him to try and explain all of this. And how very very sorry she is. She wishes she could just go to him to tell him all those things. And then she's thankful again that this isn't possible right now. There's this kiss hanging between them after all and she has absolutely no idea how to deal with it.

"Oh-kay. But this doesn't sound very... convincing." Jim Beckett answers slowly. He's not really sure if his daughter is just still under the influence of her medication.

"You have to trust me here. I don't have enough time to explain everything right now. I promise I'll tell you everything when all this is over. Or maybe you can talk to him. He was the one who saved my life after all. And I think he'll be able to explain all this better that me." Kate smiles carefully, her cheeks feeling a little warm.

"Good, if you trust him, I'll trust him, too. Just – be careful." Jim says, hugging his daughter once more. He presses a kiss on her forehead as the door to her room opens softly.

"Hi sweetie. Hello Mr Beckett. Everything okay?" Lanie asks, smiling at the picture before her eyes.

"Yeah, we're fine." Kate answers, regarding her dad intently. After a moment he smiles and nods at the M.E.

"Great! So Kate, are you ready? Can we go?"

"I'd thought you'd never ask. I was just waiting for you to come and get me. Can't wait to get the hell out of here. It's been way too long already." the brunette smiles, pointing to her bag on the bed.

"I'll go and get the wheelchair then."

"Lanie, is that really necessary? I do hate those things." Kate grumbles, but a glare from her best friend shows her more than any words that this topic won't be discussed further. It's standard protocol after all.

"I'll come with you, Dr. Parish. I wanted to leave anyway. It's a long drive to the cabin and I want to get there before it gets dark. Take care, Katie." Jim Beckett announces and hugs his daughter once more, before he leaves the room with Lanie.

When they're outside, he holds Lanie back on her arm.

"Please, Dr. Parish - "

"It's Lanie, Mr Beckett. Please."

"Okay, but only if you call me Jim." he smiles. But it's gone from his face all too soon. "Please, Lanie, promise me to keep an eye on her. I know, she's a grown woman and not my little girl anymore, but sometimes she's just – I mean, she's a little too strong for her own good, you know?"

"Of course, Jim. I'll keep both eyes on her, as often as I can spare them. And Kevin and Javier, too. And – oh, uhm... Someone else, too." Lanie answers, biting her tongue.

"Ah you know him, too? Why does everyone make such a big mystery about him?"

"Well, this is a little difficult. Initially it was for his own safety. These people we're up against are very dangerous, as you can tell. But he is a public figure. It could get really nasty for him, if the press finds out about his, well, abilities."

"Ah, okay. Yeah, I get that. It's just... Katie trusts him and I trust her, but – This whole things sounds so -"

"Weird? Yeah, that's right. But it is true. He's been helping in this case non-stop the last few days and had to move somewhere safe himself. Kate doesn't know it yet, but it seems they know who he is. We have to be really careful now."

"I really don't like the sound of all that. I wish she would just come with me. But as it is, I better get going. Please tell her to call me regularly. It's difficult for me to be so far away..." the man says, his voice breaking.

"Of course, Jim. I understand that. We're all here for her. We'll get through this." Lanie answers, stroking over Jim's back to give him a little comfort.

Jim Beckett tries a smile but fails totally. Slowly he braces himself to get going and leaves the hospital with sloping shoulders.

* * *

"Ah, Ryan, please come in." Rick greets the Irish Detective who just knocked at his door. "I'm going crazy in here." he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I know, Castle. But it's for your own good. And I'm coming with bad news." Ryan answers, looking around the apartment Rick has rented under a false name. Although it's not big – but definitely bigger than his own – it has its charm, it's well furnished and decorated tastefully. The warm brown and dark red colours and all those little details, like the fresh flowers on the table, make you feel at home immediately. Everyone can see that this writer has been quite successful so far.

"What is it? Did something happen to Beckett?" Rick asks immediately, not without feeling a little proud for not using Kate's first name in public for two days now.

"No, no, she's fine. Lanie got her out of the hospital today. No, I've got bad news for _you_. You are not allowed to go out anymore. You can't come to the precinct, no shopping, nothing. That's the new order from the Captain." Ryan states slowly, knowing that Castle won't be too thrilled with this news.

"What? You mean – I – what? Why?"

"They're searching for you increasingly. They have broken into your loft. Two of our officers, who observed your building, are in hospital now. They're ruthless and brutal. And I'm sorry to tell you, but your whole place is trashed. Looks like they were searching for something. Or someone. We really have to be very careful now." Ryan tells Rick, observing him closely.

Rick's shoulders slump and a weary expression covers his face, his whole body slumping down.

"Alexis. Mother." he whispers.

"Yeah, probably. It was a good idea to send them to Europe."

Rick takes a relieved breath. Yeah, they should be safe there.

"Ryan I – I'm so sorry about those two officers. Please pass on my well wishes to them. It's such a shame that I am trapped here. I wish I could visit them myself and tell them that in person. And I yearn to see..." he stops, the pain of not being able to see her and talk to her burning in every cell of his body.

"Beckett?" Ryan asks, although it's more like a statement. Of course the Detective knows what Rick is talking about. Everyone knows.

"Yeah." Rick sighs, walking over to the large windows with those beautiful curtains he's not allowed to open, but can at least look through. He can see the sun shining, but the world looks white through the fabric, as if this little town outside is wrapped up in deep fog. Somehow this thought comforts him, makes him feel a little safer here.

But his thoughts wander back to the woman with the angelic face of their own accord. How can it be that his emotional pain feels so real? That his body is aching with it, too? He has never felt like this in his entire life, at least not when a woman was concerned. Of course, he went through hell this one time when Alexis was in hospital with pneumonia. This felt similar. But then he could see her at least, hold her in his arms and tell her that she'd be better soon.

He desperately needs to talk to his Kate, to talk about their connection, about the – kiss. He wonders if it felt as real to her as it felt to him. And he aches to do it again. To feel her soft lips on his own and to do some other things to her with his mouth, too. God, Rick, this is not helping. It makes this whole dilemma only worse.

"You okay, Castle? You look so pale..." Ryan asks, moving over to him.

"No, Ryan. Of course I am not okay. I've been trapped here for almost a week now, we haven't got any new leads, my best friend betrayed me and sold me down the river and I really need to talk to Beckett. Privately. This is killing me, Ryan. So don't ask me if I'm okay." Rick yells. But immediately his face turns soft again. "I'm sorry, Ryan, I know it's not your fault. Please, forgive me."

"Sure, Castle. I – It's not easy, for any of us. She's our boss, our friend. She's like an older sister for Espo and me and... But maybe I have good news for you. She's got a new burner phone and you've got one,too, right? I don't think anyone will be able to trace them to find you or her. So – if this little piece of paper with a certain number on it would _accidentally_ fall out of my pocket onto this little table... Well... Maybe you can think of something you can do with it."

Wow. There's so much more to this completely innocent-looking guy than Rick initially thought. It's not meeting his Kate, but it's a start. Now he can at least talk to her. His heart bursts with joy and he looks at Ryan with beaming eyes, regarding him with a thankful smile.

"I better get going now, I've got another day full of checking surveillance cameras ahead of me. Take care, Castle. And call me or Espo if you need something."

"I'll do that, thank you Ryan. Take care yourself, too. Let's hope this nightmare will be over soon."

When Ryan is out of the door of his temporary home, Rick literally runs over to the little table with the piece of paper on it. With shaky fingers he unfolds it and pulls out his phone to – well, call her? Right now? His mouth is suddenly dry. He settles for saving her number first, smiling at her name on his display. But he cannot get himself to press the call button. He shakes his head over this nervousness and asks himself who the hell this man is – that is afraid of calling a woman. This man, a best-selling author and once a passionate playboy, who never needed to search for the right words and has more notches on his bedpost than he can count. But this woman – Kate – she's special. And suddenly he feels like a teenager again, who got the number of his crush and doesn't dare to call her.

He takes a deep breath and decides to write a message instead. She's still recovering after all. He doesn't want to rouse her from a sleep. Yeah, right, that's the explanation. Sure. Ignoring the sarcastic voice in his head, his fingers fly over the keyboard of his phone.

"_Hi Kate, this is Rick. How are you?" _

No, no. Maybe that's too personal.

"_Hello Detective Beckett, this is Richard Castle. How are you feeling?" _

Too formal. Damn. This is supposed to be easy for him, he's absolutely not used to having such difficulties finding the right words. Where is his old self when he needs it?

"_Hello Kate. I hope you're feeling better by now. Ryan told me they let you out of the hospital. I am confined again, but at least this time it's more comfortable than in your cell. - Rick" _

Yeah, humour should do the trick. Rick smiles to himself, pleased with the message, and presses the send button.

* * *

When Kate comes out of Lanie's bathroom, her best friend greets her with a smile. Lanie had insisted on helping her take a shower with her cast, but Kate had made a point in drying herself without any help. And although Lanie was just trying to help, she was sick and tired of depending on her.

"You okay?"

"Yes, Lanie, I'm fine. You don't need to ask every two minutes." Kate responds angrily.

"You better get used to it. Did you take your painkillers?"

"La – nie!"

"You've got a text while you were showering. Maybe some good news?" Lanie says, trying to change the topic and passing over the phone.

Kate opens the text and can't help a smile.

"What is it? Good news indeed? Who - ?"

"God, Lanie. You are absolutely not nosey, are you?"

"Me? Never." the M.E. smirks.

"It's from Castle."

"Castle? Really? How did he even get this number? Ah, let me guess - "

"Ryan." they both say in unison, laughing.

"So, what did he write? Don't put me on the rack."

Kate hands her the phone back, rolling her eyes.

"Haha, this man knows how to use words."

Right in this moment the phone vibrates again. Both women look at the screen eagerly.

"_You girls are laughing about me, right? Well, laughing is the best medicine after all, so go ahead. :-) - Rick"_

"This man is funny." Lanie states, a huge smile on her face. "You're a lucky girl."

"What's that supposed to mean? Don't you dare let on that - "

"I'm not letting on anything. But - "

"I'm hungry. Let's order something. You up for Chinese?" Kate asks quickly, changing the subject.

"Okay, fine. But this conversation is NOT over, girlfriend. Now go and answer this author of yours and I'll order our food."

"Lanie, he's not any 'author of mine'! Could you please stop -"

"Go and answer his text, girl. Don't let writer-boy wait."

Kate can't help another eye-roll earning a I-have-seen-that-glare from her friend and walks over to the couch, putting her throbbing leg onto a cushion on the coffee-table and placing her phone in her lap.

"_Hi Castle, I'm fine, thank you. How are you doing? If you miss your cell so much, I think I can arrange something. KB"_

A few seconds later, her phone vibrates again.

"_Ah, no, thank you. Don't miss it that much, you know? Just wanted to cheer you up a little. Hope it worked. RC"_

And – damn – she cannot help smiling again. Of course it worked. Too well for her taste – but all those little butterflies in her stomach are telling a different story. She shakes her head – still smiling – and tries to ignore the effect this man has on her. Time to change the topic to a more safe territory.

"_How are the investigations going? Ryan told me you're part of it now. Any news? KB"_

This time she has to wait a little longer for his answer. She wants to put her phone away just when it vibrates again.

"_Yeah, that's right, but I am not allowed to come to the precinct anymore. But don't you stay with Lanie? Has she any news to share? RC"_

"_No, she doesn't tell me much. Why aren't you allowed to help anymore? What have you done now? ;-) KB"_

And yet again the smile creeps back to her face. He's caused a lot of trouble so far – _to save your_ _life_ a little voice whispers – what has he done now?

"_No, you got me wrong here. I am not allowed to leave my apartment anymore. For my own safety. I really hope this nightmare will be over soon. RC"_

Ugh. Okay. She didn't think in this direction. Shit! How embarrassing. She is not used to feeling this way, she notices annoyed.

"_Yeah, me too. Gotta go now, dinner is here. Take care, writer-boy."_

Shit! She pressed the 'send' button too quickly. What is she thinking she's doing? No, she's absolutely _not _flirting with this man. Damn, why isn't there a button to take the message back?

But her phone is vibrating again, signalling to her she's already got an answer. A reply to a text she wished she hadn't sent.

"_Enjoy your meal. And Kate – it's writer MAN! :-) - Rick"_

She sends her answer again before she can think twice. It's just too tempting.

"_Thanks. And Castle - I don't have proof for that, writer-boy. :-)"_

Oh God. What the hell is she doing here? And why is she so excited about it? She cannot think longer about it, as her phone is already vibrating with his answer.

"_You're going to have to take my word for it. For now. ;-)"_

Kate's eyes go wide while she stares at her display. She sucks the air in with a sharp breath. What is this arrogant, boastful – _and sexy_ – man thinking he's doing? Who does he think he's talking to?

_You started all this, _the little voice pipes up again. Kate shakes her head to get rid of those thoughts, just when Lanie enters the room with two white paper boxes.

"So, here's our – Kate? What's wrong?" the M.E. asks, concerned.

"Huh? Nothing Lanie. I'm fine. This smells delicious, I'm really hungry." Kate answers, trying to look as innocent as possible. But with her rosy cheeks it's definitely not working.

"Nuh-uh girlfriend. I can see something's going on. Spit it out." Lanie demands, trying to hide her amusement.

Kate sighs. Her best friend just knows her too well.

"So, what did writer-boy say? Is he doing okay?" Lanie asks while sitting down beside her friend and opening the paper boxes. Placing one in front of her friend and taking the other one onto her lap she regards her intently.

"Yeah, I think so. He seems to be bored." Kate answers slowly, also digging into her meal.

"What makes you think that?" the black haired woman asks between bites, leaning back to look at Kate in amusement.

But Kate only shrugs her shoulders, her cheeks getting pink.

"Oh... Okay, you two were flirting, right? Come on, girl, what did he say?"

Kate chews slowly and puts a strand of her hair behind her ear to have a moment to think.

"So...?" Lanie asks with raised eye-brows.

"Okay, okay. I called him writer-boy."

"Oh really?" Lanie laughs, putting her meal aside. "How did he like that?"

"Uhm... Well... Ah, look for yourself." Kate answers while handing Lanie her phone.

"Haha, writer-MAN. Okay, that sounds like him. Wine?" Lanie asks getting a bottle and pointing towards her friend.

"Yeah, sure. I definitely need some now." the brunette whispers.

Suddenly Lanie's eyes go wide while she reads Kate's answer. "You did what? Oh my God, Kate! That's so... unlike you. And I like it!" Lanie beams. "Now, what did he say to that? I think he might've liked it, too, huh?" Before scrolling down to the last message, Lanie pours some of her favourite red wine for Kate and herself.

"Yeah, I think so. Thanks, Lanie."

When Kate sees her best friend staring at the display of her phone with open mouth, – just like she did a few minutes ago - she knows she just read Castle's answer.

And suddenly Lanie lets herself fall back on the couch, laughing hard.

"Girl, this is hilarious! And kinda hot." She adds in a more serious tone. "Why the hell are you here and not with him?"

"The safety protocol Lanie." Kate answers, rolling her eyes. "We're not allowed to see each other."

"Yeah, but why? They don't know where you are and they don't know where he is. So, why can't you spend the evening at his place?" Lanie asks thoughtful.

"I don't know, Lanie. And it doesn't matter. I'm not really eager to talk to him right now anyway. I'm glad he just wrote a message." Kate murmurs, sipping her wine.

"Well, just keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll believe it one day. I won't!"

"La – nie! Why is this so important?"

"Because he makes you smile. And flirty. It's been so long, Kate, since Will has gone. I know, I know, this was hard. But it doesn't mean that every man is like this. It doesn't mean that everyone else you let near to you is going to leave."

Kate looks at her friend, tears glistering in her eyes. She blinks them away and looks out of the window. "My mum left me, Lanie. My dad left me and although he came back and is sober for years, it's not the same anymore. Will was the first one after that I really thought I - " her voice breaks. Why the hell is she so sensitive? Maybe it was really a little too much the last few days. And that there are people out there who want her dead is not really helping. And that her body responds to Castle's messages this certain way – or just the thought of him sitting alone in this flat, his hair wet from a shower he might've taken, with his piercing blue eyes and full, soft lips – this intensive reaction is not helping either. She is not used to feeling this way. She barely knows the man.

"Kate, I know. I didn't mean to - " she sighs. "Look, you don't need to marry this man tomorrow, you know? I just see that he does you good and that you could use a joyful, carefree evening after all that's been happening. No one can take all this so easily, not even you."

And before Kate can voice her protest, Lanie comes over to hug and squeeze her tightly.

"Just have a little fun, girl. You deserve to take a break from all this." She says, looking into Kate's eyes and smiling encouragingly at her.

"I don't know Lanie. I – There's this kiss hanging between us. I don't know how to react to him if I saw him again."

"Then let's just find out, sweetie!"

"No. No, Lanie this isn't a good idea."

"But the two of you really need to talk."

"I could call him." Kate murmurs slowly.

"No, honey. Absolutely not. This is nothing you should discuss over the phone. This - " she stands up holding her hand out for Kate to help her up, "needs to be discussed personally."

"What – what do you mean?" Kate looks at her best friend critically.

"I know his address. I'll drive you over to him." Lanie answers with a voice that doesn't allow an argument.

* * *

He lights a cigarette and inhales the relaxing fume slowly, while closing his eyes for a second. When he opens them again he can barely hide his satisfaction caused by the sight of the brunette woman leaving the house he's observing. A wicked grin forms on his face while he takes out his phone.

His boss answers on the second ring.

"I found her."

* * *

A/N: *runs for cover*


	14. The Quiet Before The Storm

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: So, guys, here's the 'real' chapter 14. I hope you enjoy this one, too!

I wanted to take a moment to thank all those anonymous reviewers again, because I can't thank you personally. Your reviews are as appreciated as the other ones! Thank you!

_And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me.  
You're what I couldn't find.  
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;  
You're everything to me._

_(__The Cranberries ~ Dreams)_

* * *

**The Quiet Before The Storm**

Rick sits on the comfortable buckskin-couch and awaits anxiously her answer. He sends another text when nothing comes back, hoping she got the joke in the first one.

Already afraid that he chose the wrong words, he stands up and walks up and down before the couch, running a hand through his hair nervously. Maybe she's sleeping? Or didn't hear her phone? Should he call her? No, if she's sleeping, he really doesn't want to wake her. She needs the rest. But he longs to find out if she's okay.

The relieving 'ping' from his phone comes when he just wants to put it away and makes him jump in surprise. A goofy smile forms on his lips while he reads her text.

"_Hi Castle, I'm fine, thank you. How are you doing? If you miss your cell so much, I think I can arrange something. KB"_

Yes! She got his joke. Good, good. He really likes this side of her and her text made him smile even wider. His fingers fly over the keyboard and he's a little surprised about his sincerity.

"_How are the investigations going? Ryan told me you're part of it now. Any news? KB"_

Uh. That's a change of subject. How awkward. What shall he answer to that? Isn't she with Lanie anyway? The pretty M.E. with the dark, piercing eyes that doesn't miss a thing and with the wide, contagious smile. He immediately liked her when they met at the precinct three days ago and had a little chat. So why does Kate not just ask her?

"_No, she doesn't tell me much. Why aren't you not allowed to help anymore? What have you done now? ;-) KB"_

Ah, okay. That's why she asked him. Clever girl.

And although he really likes it that her playfulness is back in this message, it makes it even harder for him to give her an honest answer to her questions. He doesn't want to dampen the mood. With a sigh he lets himself fall on the comfortable couch again and closes his eyes for a moment. What shall he tell her? After all they've been through – the truth. Definitely.

When he closes his eyes again, after sending the text, he can almost see her angelic face. And the gorgeous smile on her lips that fades while she reads his text. He does hope that this nightmare will be over soon. And maybe they can spend some time together then and he can see more of her playful side.

"_Yeah, me too. Gotta go now, dinner is here. Take care, writer-boy."_

He sighs. She wants to end their conversation after his last message. He feared she would.

But wait – what? Writer-BOY? He didn't really see this the first time he read her message. Huh. He wonders how she got the idea to call him this? The joy about the fact that his Kate gave him a nick-name is a little damped by the 'boy' in 'writer-boy'. He doesn't like the sound of that.

Pleased with his reply, he presses the send button on his phone, while stretching himself out on the couch contently. A wide grin spreads across his face while all his nerves are tingling with excitement for her answer. He doesn't have to wait long.

"_Thanks. And Castle - I don't have proof of that, writer-boy. :-)"_

God, what a woman. Only the thought of giving her proof for that makes his pants uncomfortably tight. What is this wonderful, gorgeous and funny woman doing to him? It's only a damn text, she hasn't even touched him and yet his body is reacting to her. He can't remember if there was any woman in his life yet – not even his ex-wives – his body showed such a reaction to.

Well, time to pay her back. Two can play this game.

When he doesn't get a reply from her - he didn't think he'd get one anyway – he rises from the couch and walks over to the little room where his laptop rests on the large desk. The furniture is made of dark wood, just like the floor, and the little couch beneath the window has a nice cream colour, just like the desk chair. He sits down, contemplating about getting such a chair for his loft, and turns on the little desk light as it is already darkening outside.

He opens his laptop and his eyes fall on the document he didn't bother to close the last time.

_Storm fall. _

Since he got here almost a week ago, he hasn't been able to write anything. He just couldn't concentrate on it. He wonders if he can do it now, after those texts he exchanged with his Kate, after discovering her flirty side. He fondly calls her the 'Beckett-onion' and wonders how many layers he has still to find.

Ha, he knew it. How the hell is he supposed to kill Derreck Storm when all he can think about is her? Gina said something about his eyeballs and fire ants, he didn't really paid attention when he read her mail. Kate's life is in danger – and his too – his book is the last thing he currently thinks about. But Gina insisted that he mustn't stop writing now, the press shouldn't find out about his current situation. And it would give him something useful to do. Pah!

But maybe she was right, it could be a good distraction. He doesn't know how long he will be trapped here after all. Opening his 'writing-playlist' and turning the speakers of his laptop on, his fingers start flying over the keys of their own accord.

And then Derreck Storm is dead.

Shot in a dark alley and bled to death in Clara Strike's arms. Rick saves his document and takes a deep breath before he's going to reread what he's just written. He has an unpleasant feeling about all this. Is it really a good idea to kill Storm? He was so sure about it being the right thing to do, he was bored with his character and everything just became too predictable. But now that he's actually written it down, he's not so sure about it anymore.

Then he realises that the dark alley and the gunshot matches the situation when he first met the woman of his dreams. Somehow his subconscious mind brought it into the book. Strange.

But when he thinks about it, it actually _could_ have played out this way with his Kate, too. If he hadn't gone to the alley at just the right time, she would most definitely have been shot to death. And even if he went there, but hadn't been on time, only a few minutes late – like Clara – the beautiful brunette Detective would probably have bled to death in his arms, too.

He cannot just let it stay this way.

* * *

"Lanie, I really don't think - "

"Kate, I will tell you this one last time. The two of you need to talk. I'm gonna take you to him now and then if you think after half an hour everything is said and you want to come home again, just give me a call. I won't be too far away."

"But I could've just called him. Get to know him a little. And then, maybe in a few days – or when all of this is over - "

"What are you waiting for, girlfriend? Sometimes you just have to jump at the opportunity. None of us know when our time will be up, especially at times like these, so why do you want to waste it?"

Kate only stares out of the window, contemplating what her best friend just said. Is she right? Does she really waste so much of her life? When her mum died she thought so, too. There are so many things she wanted to tell her, so many missed opportunities – maybe it really was time to head in another direction to avoid making the same mistakes all over again.

"Kate, did you listen to me?" Lanie's voice rips her out of her thoughts.

"Uhm, no, sorry."

The black haired woman just shakes her head and smiles at her friend. Only now Kate realises that they're no longer driving.

"I just said, that I'm gonna park the car here. Castle's flat is in the brown building down this street, apartment no. 3. I'll just head into this coffee-shop and buy two drinks for those two lovely officers on the other side of the street. And while I have a little chat with them, you can slip into the building." Lanie explains.

"And how am I supposed to 'slip' into it? I've got a cast Lanie. Even a snail can move quicker than me right now."

"Leave it with me." the M.E. says with a wink and leaves the car.

* * *

That's it! What if Clara isn't too late? What if she saves Storm, just like Kate was saved by himself. Could it be so easy? It's his book after all, he can do whatever he wants. But does he really wants this? Should he give Derreck Storm another chance?

He is so absorbed in his thoughts that he hears the bell only at the third ring.

Who could it be? Ryan? Esposito? Why didn't they call to tell him they want to come over?

He looks through the little door viewer and sucks in a sharp breath.

Kate!

No, he must be mistaken. He risks another look.

Still Kate!

He feels the nervousness building up in his body, while running over to the mirror. His hair is a mess and there are dark circles around his eyes. And he isn't even wearing a shirt, only a dark blue tee and some pale, tatty jeans. So much for making a good impression. But he doesn't have time to change, she's ringing again. He's just glad that he took a shower two hours ago.

He can't fight the urge to look once more through the peep-hole of his door – she's really there – and then he opens it quickly, before she turns to leave again.

"Kate." he murmurs, just when one of his current favourite songs - **Dream Of You - **begins to play.

_I've been here all the time  
as far as I know doing right  
I've always waited for the moment_

_that you would come through my door_

"Hi Castle." Kate answers with a soft smile. "Am I disturbing you?"

"No – No, please. Uhm, come in." Rick stutters, closing his eyes. How embarrassing. He really needs to get a grip and control his nervousness. He takes one step aside to let his Kate in, still not able to grasp that she's really here. In his apartment. With him. Alone. Oh God.

"It's a nice apartment." the woman of his dreams states slowly, looking around.

"Thanks. I think about keeping it. I mean... after all... this."

Kate hums in response, looking at him expectantly. Her eyes roam over his body, letting a shudder run through him. The air is sizzling with sexual tension, although she literally just entered the room.

"So, how are you? How's your leg?"

Kate just rolls her eyes and looks away. Shit! Wrong question. Noted.

"I'm fine, Castle." she states, looking annoyed.

While she stares out of the window and avoids looking at him, he takes some time to look at her. Really look at her. He hadn't had any opportunity yet to _really _take her in. Of course, he saw her in all of those dreams, but initially he didn't even know that she was really somewhere out there and always thought she was a product of his fantasy. And when he finally met her, there was always imminent danger, so he had no time to really look at her.

But now he was able to admire her freely, her auburn tresses falling softly around her shoulders, her slim figure and her incredibly long legs. Even this walking cast cannot lessen her beauty. She is simply perfect.

"You know that it's kinda creepy to stare at people, don't you?" she says, without turning around.

"Uh... Uhm... Sorry. Do you – want something to drink?" Rick asks, remembering his good manners.

"Yeah, sure."

"Please, sit down. I'll go get something. Wine?"

"Do you have something stronger?"

"Uhm, sure. I've got some scotch, bacardi, vodka - "

"Vodka sounds good."

"Okay, vodka it is. You sure it harmonizes with your medications?"

"I don't care, Castle. I'm not a little kid."

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." Rick answers a little offended, holding both hands up in the air.

"No, Castle, I'm sorry. It's just – everyone asks me if I'm okay, if everything's alright, if I'm in pain or if I took my pills... I... It's just - "

Rick makes a step towards her – to tell her that everything's fine – and takes her hand. When their fingers tough, Rick has the feeling that there was a spark between them. Kate looks up, surprise in her eyes.

"Did you feel that, too?"

"Yeah, must be static charge or something."

"Yeah, of course." Rick smiles goofily and turns to get their drinks. Of course it wasn't anything like that. He felt it since she entered the room. Even the air between them is sparkling.

He comes back into the living room and sits beside her on the couch, keeping a respectable distance, but when he hands her the glass with the vodka and their fingers brush, the spark is back again.

He's not sure if she felt it, too, but he can see that she's shifting on the couch.

"Cheers!" Rick exclaims a little too loud, making her jump.

"Cheers, Castle." she answers with a soft smile on her lips, looking at him through her long, dense lashes. He almost gets a heartattack.

"I'm so glad that you're better again. To see you lying on the ground in your apartment like that... I – I thought I was too late."

Kate slowly closes her eyes. Damn. Why does his mouth always runs away with him like this lately?

"I'm glad you weren't. Thank you. Again." she murmurs, laying her hand on top of his.

They just look at each other, the drinks completely forgotten on the couch table. Rick has the feeling he might combust with all the sexual tension between them.

And he can see that her eyes darken, too, they're like a dark brown abyss he would happily throw himself into.

He moves his hand from under hers and stokes up her bare arm – she only wears a black tee now that she took her jacket off – tracing invisible patterns, fascinated by the trail of goosebumps caused by his touch.

She shivers beneath his fingers and closes her eyes, but she doesn't take her arm away from him. Her content sigh is all he needs to be sure that she's enjoying this as much as he is.

"Can I ask you something?" she asks in a low voice, opening her eyes again.

"Sure." Rick whispers, because he doesn't trust his voice right now.

"What – I mean... Where... Was this a dream?"

She doesn't need to explain what exactly she mean, of course Rick knows perfectly well what she's talking about.

"Yeah. I think so. I mean, sort of. I don't know for sure, these kind of – uhm, let's just call them 'dreams' – are pretty new for me, too. So – you really remember it?" he answers, his hand stopping on its way up her arm, his mouth suddenly dry. What else does she remember?

"I do. And I remember two more of these... dreams." she states, shifting a little on the couch towards him.

"Which ones?" Rick asks, although he thinks he already knows the answer. But he needs to hear it from her.

"I remember you staying behind me at a crossroads. And I remember - "

"Yeah?" Rick lets his hand wander – oh so slowly – again, up her arm and over her shoulder, finding the soft skin at her collar bone. She lays one hand on top of his and for a terrible second he thinks she wants to remove it, stop it from continuing to caress her.

He couldn't have been more wrong. Her hand just rests on top of his, her fingers tracing little circles around his knuckles. She faces him now, just like he faces her, and their knees are touching gently.

"I remember a second... dream... you were there and held me and we - "

"We almost kissed." he murmurs, losing himself in her eyes again, his face drawing nearer to hers of its own accord, their noses almost touching.

"Yeah... And then there was this last dream. When you found me in all this fog and held me. When you told me I had to wake up." she says slowly, looking shortly to his lips and then deeply into his eyes again. It makes him crazy.

"I am so glad it worked."

"Me, too." she smiles, looking down onto her lap.

He brings his other hand up to her chin and uses his thumb to make her look up to him again.

"It felt so real, Castle." she continues a little breathless, biting her lip. Rick knows that she's no longer only talking about the dream.

"Like this?" he asks and closes the few inches between them, touching her lips with his oh so very gently.

Kate suddenly breaks the kiss, looking at him a little surprised, but comes back to him with more force. Their lips crash onto one another, teeth clattering, while she buries both of her hands in his thick hair. His hands rest on both sides of her hips, urging her closer to him.

And then time stands still for them.

He takes her lower lip between his teeth and bites down softly, eliciting a low moan from her.

It's the sexiest sound he's ever heard.

Caressing the bruised spot with his tongue, he doesn't wait long to bite down on her lip again, desperate to hear her make that sound again. She doesn't disappoint him.

But when she tugs at his hair a little to have better access to his mouth, he's the one who moans and when her tongue enters his mouth, it increases to a deep groan coming from a low point in his throat.

The need for oxygen becomes obvious all too soon and he breaks the kiss softly, leaving both of them panting and smiling at each other.

* * *

A/N: Soooo, no cliffhanger this time. :-) I had written a cliffy at the end of this chapter originally, but I have decided against it because I'll go on a skiing holiday tomorrow and won't be able to continue this story for the next two weeks. So I just didn't want to leave you with yet another evil cliffhanger.

Well then, have a great time all of you! Bye for now. :-)


	15. Consequences

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: I'm finally back with another chapter. :-) I hope it was worth the wait.

* * *

_When the seas and mountains fall  
And we come to end of days  
In the dark I hear a call  
Calling me there  
I will go there  
And back again_

_But in dreams  
I can hear your name  
And in dreams  
We will meet again_

_(In Dreams ~ The Lord of the Rings, OST)_

**Consequences**

_Previously: The need for oxygen becomes obvious all too soon and he breaks the kiss softly, leaving both of them panting and smiling at each other. _

But when Rick brings his hand up to her face again, caressing her cheek and just wants to start another round, they hear two gunshots from outside.

"W-what was that?" Rick asks, jumping up from the couch.

"I don't know!" Kate answers, standing up as quickly as she can with her walking cast. "But... maybe – no, no, this can't be..."

"What?" Rick asks, regarding her intently. "What?" he yells, when she doesn't answer.

"What if they – We were so careful, but - " Kate stutters, unsure.

And then it hits Rick like a punch in the guts. He was so overwhelmed by his emotions when Kate came through his door, that he didn't even waste a single thought on how she got here or that they weren't allowed to see each other for their own safety.

Two more gunshots outside. Closer.

And now they are coming for them. It is the only explanation. They are here, ready to kill her. And him.

Rick thinks feverishly. What can they do?

"Do you have a weapon with you?"

"No, my piece is at Lanie's. I didn't think – I didn't think I needed it. Rick, we have to get out of here. Now!"

_Rick_. Not Castle. She called him Rick. And it's absolutely not appropriate right now what his first name out of her mouth does to his body.

"Wait a moment. Let me think." Rick murmurs, running a hand over his face.

"We don't have time to think. If it's them we have to get the hell out of here!"

"And what if they planned this? What if the gunshots are just a distraction? You can't even run with your cast, we're never going to be quick enough - "

"But they will kill us, Rick." Kate's voice has almost died down.

He needs to think. There has to be a way. If they stay here, they'll be killed. If they get out, through the window or where ever, they can't possibly be quick enough to get away. Even if he carries her.

Okay, okay. Rick takes a deep breath, while Kate walks over to the window and pushes the curtains away.

"There's nobody here, Castle. Come on, you have to help me out. Castle!" Kate yells now, her cop senses on full alert.

But Rick knows that this is not the solution. If they stay together, they'll both get killed. There's only one way.

"Okay, come on. Open the window, I'll help you out." Rick answers, walking towards her.

A loud row comes from right outside the door of Rick's apartment.

They're here.

Kate and Rick look at each other for a brief moment. And then each of them opens one side of the double window.

Rick helps Kate to get out, but when she holds out her hand and waits for him to come out, too, he shakes his head.

"Go, Kate. Go as quickly as you can. Hide somewhere and call Lanie." he says, taking her hand and kissing her fingers.

"No, Castle, this is not the time to play the hero. Get your ass out of there and come with me."

"Kate – If they find us together, they'll kill both of us. That was the reason why we couldn't see each other. They want you dead, not me. Go! I'll keep them away from you as long as I can."

"They're gonna kill you, Rick! I can't let that happen. Come on!" Kate sobs, tears staining her cheeks.

"No. Go, please, go. They won't kill me. They will want to find out why I was able to prevent their attacks on you, find out if there's a mole in their organisation. They won't kill me – yet. But I can distract them, keep them away from you so you can escape. Please, Kate, go and get help. I know that you'll find me." Rick tells her with a calmness that surprises even himself. "This is how it must be. They won't kill you. You will make it. I know that, Kate and I will tell you why. I haven't seen you die in any of my latest dreams. This means you'll be safe."

A bang on Rick's apartment door startles both of them and Rick gives the woman of his dreams a push.

"GO!"

* * *

"Here you go." Lanie murmurs, handing Kate a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." Kate whispers without looking at her friend. She takes a sip of the hot liquid – just how she remembers Rick's kisses tasting – and closes her eyes, trying to forget that this is not just a bad dream.

Lanie sits down on the couch in the break room of the bullpen, beside the detective. It's beginning to dawn outside and the air is filled with voices, a dozen people running around and talking to each other, everyone has something to do – except for the two women who can only sit there in shock, feeling the sharp sting of guilt in their stomachs.

"This is all my fault." Lanie breathes after a while, looking at her folded hands that rest in her lap. "If I hadn't encouraged you to - "

"No, Lanie, you know that's not it." Kate answers, looking over to the newspaper that lies on the table. The front page graces a picture of the building where Rick had hidden the last week with the headline **"Rick Castle's new writing-haven"**.

"We don't know if they really followed us or if they just – read the paper." Kate adds, taking her friend's hand and gives her a reassuring squeeze. But she tosses the same thoughts in her head, feels the same guilt, the same horror when she thinks about Castle and where he might be.

If he's still alive.

Captain Montgomery comes into the break room, a grim expression on his normally so even face.

"You two should go and get some rest." he states, regarding them intently.

"No, Sir, please don't send us away. There has to be something we can do, too." Kate answers a little too quickly, while letting go of her friend's hand.

"No, Kate. They still want you dead. You two have done enough."

Both women don't miss the little undertone of peevishness in his voice, although he's trying to hide it.

"Where do we have to go?" Lanie asks the Captain, while standing up slowly.

"Officer Hastings will take you there. It's far outside the city, a few hours drive. We hope you'll be safe there."

"Sir, we'll be safest if we stay here. And we can help."

"Beckett, I want you as far away as possible. For your own good." Montgomery says, his voice a little softer than before.

"Sir, I can handle this."

"No, Kate, you can't handle this. You stay away from this case. That's an order." he says firmly, making clear that the discussion is over. "Look, as I told you before, I won't hold you two responsible for what has happened. Nobody, except for Ryan and Esposito, needs to know that you two were there. But – I won't tolerate such behaviour a second time."

When he sees the devastated expression on the face of the Detective, he adds: "Kate, I wasn't really pleased that you stayed this long anyway. But I let you because I trusted in Mr Castle's abilities to warn us if something was going to happen to you. But now he's gone and there's no way to know if you are in imminent danger. It's too big of a risk, I need everyone to concentrate on finding him and I can't afford to worry about you all the time. I need you somewhere safe. Now go and keep quiet, I don't want to hear anything from you until this is over. And that's final."

"Of course, Sir. Come on, Kate, let's go."

"Roy - " Kate begins with a pleading voice, looking at her Captain with watery eyes.

"We'll find him. And we'll end this, you have my word." He answers, laying a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Hastings is waiting for you two."

* * *

Rick slowly opens his left eye and blinks against the light. It takes him a while to get used to it, although it's only a dim lamp over his head.

He needs a moment to remember where he is, but when his eye falls onto the concrete wall opposite him and he breathes in the stale, mouldy air, the memory comes back quickly.

He tries to move, but his hands are tied up behind his back with tape and his ankles are taped to the legs of the chair he's sitting on. A rough rope tethers his body to the back of the chair and makes it impossible for him to even move an inch.

His right eye is swollen, so he can't open it; his ribs hurt and something's wrong with his wrist. Ryan was right, these guys really aren't ones to mess around, they almost shot him when they broke through his door. At least he was able to close the window and the curtains and to bring a respectable distance between himself and the window, so they didn't suspect that Kate got out of it a few moments before.

Suddenly he hears footsteps coming from outside the little, dark room he sits in, which is only lit by a lamp right above his head. The room is completely empty, except for the chair he's sitting on and a little cupboard with five drawers. He'd rather not want to know the contents.

One of the men who came to his apartment last night enters the little room through the door at Rick's left and closes it shut behind him.

Rick straightens his shoulders and braces for another round.

"I see that you're awake again. Good. Maybe you're a little more talkative now." the man says in a deep voice that sends a chill through Rick's veins. He is at least six and a half foot tall and his upper arms are even bigger than Rick's thighs. The nasty scar over his left cheek and the grim expression in his eyes complete his look.

"Where is she?" the ogre spits out, building himself up before his captive.

"I told you, I don't know." Rick answers, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"One of my men saw her and this other chick driving to your apartment. We just got the info that you were hiding there like a little coward and I was on my way to see you anyway. Now can you imagine the satisfaction I felt when I heard that the bitch was with you?" he grunted, which should apparently have been a laugh.

Rick knows that he only tells him things like this to torture him – and it works. This jackass tries to draw him out and he has a hard time to pretend to be unaffected.

"Now - " the hulk of a man takes a step towards Rick and pats his injured cheek, the pain causing little stars to explode in Rick's brain, "you tell me why we haven't found her in your apartment. Once they _took care _of you, three of my best men searched the place, but they didn't even find a trace of her. So, why don't you explain this to me?"

Rick closes his other eye, too, and tries to think of something nice. What did his mother always say? _Find your happy place in your head and shut yourself away when things get rough._ He doesn't think that she ever thought of a situation like this, but it might help him here, too, and not only in those never-ending meetings or during his divorces.

He lets his mind wander back to the time when he sat on the couch with his Kate, before they were interrupted and he kinda sacrificed himself so they wouldn't get her. Back to the pleasant feeling of butterflies buzzing through his stomach and her soft lips on his own, before these men came into his apartment and threatened him with their guns and pestered him with their fists and he went down, pretending to be unconscious, and they searched his place for the woman of his dreams.

While Rick feels the fist of the hulk hit his face once again, he tries to remember how the woman he most definitely fell in love with a few hours ago smelled and how she felt beneath his fingers. And how soft her lips felt against his when they kissed... His heart races and his body reacts - even in this frightening situation - although he only thinks of her. He cannot remember if he ever fell so hard for someone before. Normally it was the other way around.

But when another fist flies right into his stomach with full force, all of those lovely thoughts are erased from his brain.

"You don't wanna talk to me, huh?Well then, we will find a way. But let me tell you this much, if you decide to tell us what we want to know, I might decide to put a short and sweet end to your life. If not – well once we found her you're of no use to us anymore. And then you will beg for death."

A grunt escapes Rick's throat, but the hulk of a man doesn't get any more out of him.

When Rick hears the man move away from him, he opens his uninjured eye for a moment, but regrets it only moments later.

The villain walks over to the cupboard and opens the first drawer, taking out some scalpels, some knives and an array of torture instruments.

Rick doesn't know how long he'll be able to stand all this. He only hopes that Kate will find a way to get him out of here. Quick.

* * *

Kate slowly opens her eyes again, she fell asleep in the back of Hastings' car about half an hour ago. Now she feels even more exhausted, as if she'd been run over by a truck. She looks over to Lanie, but her friend is still sound asleep.

When she starts to stretch her body a sharp pain runs through her back and her right shoulder. Must've been the angle in which she fell asleep.

Hastings is sitting silent in the driver's seat, her eyes concentrated on the road. She's not been talking much with them so far anyway, but now Kate has the feeling she's avoiding looking in the rear-vision mirror on purpose.

She's on her own for now, alone with her thoughts. With the feelings of guilt that pang in her chest.

God, how the hell did she get herself into running away and leaving him back? She knows the answer deep down inside – it was their only option – but she still can't believe that Rick is now in the clutches of those men who want _her_ dead. This was just not right. And now she'd been sent away and there was nothing she could do to get him out of there. Hell, she wasn't even able to drive herself, to go rogue, to run through the whole city and look for him, because of this damn cast around her leg and foot. And the longer she thought about all that, the worse it got. She thinks she might explode any second with frustration. And somewhere out there Castle is held hostage and they're doing God-knows-what to him.

She'll never forget the calm expression in his eyes when she turned her back on him to go and run – or stumble – for cover. She was, and still is, devastated and he just seemed so collected. Maybe he is right after all and they won't hurt him too much because they still need him? God, please let him be able to hang on until they find him!

It was pure luck that Kate found Lanie so quickly, she almost ran into her car at the next corner and

got in quickly, telling her what happened. They got away as quickly as Lanie's old car let them and informed the Captain as soon as Kate got her shaking fingers under control to dial the number.

So, if she was this lucky, maybe he was, too.

She digs her mobile phone out and texts Ryan, begging him to tell her if they've found anything yet.

They have to find him. They just have to.

He's saved her life so many times now, she needs to stop letting herself be controlled by her feelings and start to look for a solution – it's time to return the favour.


	16. Surrounded By Darkness

I DREAM of you...

Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.

A/N: Oh my God, I have over **150 reviews** now! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I appreciate each and every one of them!

And I sincerely apologise for the long wait. I had a serious case of writer's block and had to sort out a lot of medical problems I'll have to face in the next chapter first.

**Arkem – thank you so much for all the help and all the information. You're the best beta I could wish for.**

* * *

_Now I'm standing here alone  
Waiting on my own  
For something that will fill the emptiness inside..._

_(Dream Of You – Schiller with Heppner)_

**Surrounded By Darkness**

_Previously: He saved her life so many times now, she needs to stop letting herself be controlled by her feelings and then start to look for a solution – it's time to return the favour._

Rick comes slowly back to his senses. It's pitch black around him and he can't remember where he is or how he got there. What the hell has happened?  
He's sitting up slowly, feeling a soft material beneath his body. He must be sitting on some sort of mattress – an old one, he can feel the traces of usage beneath his fingers.  
His mind is encompassed with fog, he can't think straight. He shakes his head to make it better, but it only gets worse.  
It takes all his strength to let his hands wander around slowly, but he has to check some things.  
At least he's fully clothed, his legs are covered by a holey, itchy blanket and he can feel the cold, concrete floor under his hands when he carefully moves them around.  
The air in this room is also cold and smells mouldy and even though his eyes must've gotten used to the dark by now, it's still pitch black around him. Not even a glimmer of light anywhere.

Where is he?

He doesn't know how long he sits there, staring into the black nothingness, his senses coming back to him slowly and the fog in his brain vanishes.  
But now his whole body is aching. His right eye hurts like hell and he closes it again, letting his hand move over it carefully. He can feel that his whole face must be swollen and there's a cut below his left ear. He lets his hands move further, checking his body for all those other injuries that he can feel even more with every minute.  
His right shoulder feels dislocated and throbs with pain, just like his right wrist.  
His ribs ache, too, and his left knee and ankle feel squashed. But the worst thing is the deep cut running over his right thigh. It must be still bleeding, he can feel the wetness through his jeans.

Did he have a car-accident? Why isn't he in a hospital?

His head spins with all the pain and even sitting is too exhausting for him right now. He lowers himself down on the mattress again, suddenly all strength is gone. Vanishing into the dark, as if he's exhaling it with every breath he takes. He knows that he should try to get up, try to get help, but -

He closes his other eye, too, and falls back into a restless, dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Kate! Come on, Kate, wake up." Lanie shouts, after a few failed attempts to wake her best friend up. She found her screaming in her bed a few minutes ago, but still sleeping.

"L-lanie. Where – What? Castle!"

"It's okay, honey. It was just a nightmare. You were dreaming."

"But – but – " Kate runs a hand through her sweaty hair and then buries her face in her hands to hide her tears.

"Oh sweetie, I'm here. Everything's gonna be okay."

"But how, Lanie? They've got him. And we have no clue where he is. Those bastards didn't leave _any_ traces, except for a little of Castle's blood on the floor. We don't even know if he's still alive!" Against her will Kate sobs, hot tears running down her cheeks and through her fingers, like little streams of agony.

"Why don't you take a shower now and I'll order breakfast? And then we'll call Espo and Ryan. Maybe they've got some news on the van used to take Castle away."

Kate nods, but then she looks at the clock on the night stand and realises that her partners must already be at the precinct.

"No, let's call them now. I need to know." she says, her voice still shaking, while asking herself who this woman sitting on her bed and wearing her clothes is, who has nothing in common with herself anymore.

"Okay. But then you eat something." Lanie demands.

Kate digs out her phone and dials Esposito's number. He picks up immediately.

"Hey Espo, you're on speaker. Is there any news?"

"Yo, Beckett. I was just about to call you. Bad news, I'm sorry. We lost the van. The plates were stolen months ago and probably changed again shortly after they took Castle. We can't find them on the traffic cams and the black van has nothing on it that could separate it from any other black van in the city."

"We can't even know if they changed the colour already." Ryan chimes in, apparently sitting right beside his partner.

"So you're telling me we've got nothing? He's been gone almost a week – and we've got _nothing_?" Kate groans, biting her lip until it bleeds.

"We found the rest of his phone in the apartment, it's destroyed, the van is gone and we don't have any other leads that could tell us where to look for him. The two men we saw on the surveillance camera in the front of the van are not in the data-bases; it's almost as if they're ghosts. And we don't even know if he's still in the city. Montgomery informed the FBI and we're all working non-stop, but - " Ryan's voice fades.

"We'll call you as soon as we find something, Beckett. Promise. Take care you two." Esposito murmurs, before he ends the call.

The phone falls out of Kate's hand onto the bed. She doesn't have any strength left to hold on to it.  
She closes her eyes and tries to breathe deeply, but no air seem to reach her lungs.  
They've got nothing. Not a clue where he might be, no point from which to start an investigation, not a straw to grasp.

Nothing.

Everything is falling apart, slipping from her hands like her phone, falling into pieces, just like herself.  
If she can't save him - then nothing makes sense anymore.

If, of all people, she can't save _him_, when he saved her all those times – she couldn't live with that.

"Lanie." she whispers, her eyes still closed.

"I'm here, Kate." Lanie says, taking her hand.

And that's enough, nothing more needs to be said, they both know what the other one is thinking. Feeling.

The M.E. pulls Kate into a tight hug and neither know how long they sit there and just breathe. Minutes, hours?  
But when Kate moves a little apart from her best friend, the determination is back in her eyes. She's done being afraid, being frustrated, feeling so damn helpless.

And then, all of a sudden, she sees a way.

A possibility to find him.

A straw.

And she's grasping it with everything she's got.

* * *

"Wake up!" a man shouts at Rick and the next thing he feels is a boot in his stomach.

It jolts him awake, but he's too weak to even lift a finger.

"Johnson, I need some help."

Rick feels that two men are lifting him up and dragging him out of the little room. He's still cudgelling his memory to find an explanation for all this, to get a clue what this is all about and how the hell he got in a situation like this.  
But before he can concentrate on finding a clue, the two hulks let him fall hard onto a chair in another room and tie him to it.  
He tries to struggle against the fetters and against the funnel they're putting into his mouth. Only when the cold water reaches his throat he realises how thirsty he'd been. Greedy he takes a few gulps.  
The cold water also wakes him up a little more and he remembers that they've done this to him before. And when he looks around he also recognises the room. A shiver runs down his spine and bile rises up his throat when he thinks of all the things they've been doing to him in this room.

But he still can't remember why.

"Mr Castle. Here we are again."

Rick also recognises this man. This ogre that is responsible for all the cruelties he's been through.  
How long have they been torturing him? A day? A week? He has no clue.

"What have you done to me? Why am I here? What do you want - " Rick grunts, but the villain interrupts him.

"You still don't remember? Fuck!" the hulk of a man exclaims and while Rick already expects another hit to his body, he just runs a hand through his hair and turns around to face one of his men and talks to him in a dangerously low voice. "Johnson, I want you to check everyone again. We have to find the bastard who is responsible for this."

Johnson is out the door immediately and the attention of Rick's tormentor turns back to him.

"I'm afraid there has been a mix up with your _medication,_ Mr Castle. Somehow one of my men gave you a drug that had the side effect of you forgetting some important things. We've been trying to trigger your memory for a few days now, but I think we have to turn to some more drastic methods. We need to know who it was who gave you the drug. I'm convinced it was the same guy who gave you all the information you used to prevent our mission. But I can assure you, this is not important anymore. I just want to know which of my men betrays me."

"Baker!" another man shouts from outside the room.

"Not now Coleman. I'm in the middle of - "

"You need to hear this."

Baker casts one last look at Rick, clenches his fists and turns to leave the room, forgetting to close the door properly behind him.

Rick cannot hear every word, but he hears enough.

"... we think it's McKennzie. He's the only one who had access to … he's not back yet … we'll get him and grill him about it."

"... gonna need more drastic … our last … maybe we'll get him to tell us if it's McKennzie, at last ..."

"I don't think … good idea..."

"Go and do your job and let me do mine!" Baker shouts through the whole building. Even Rick is in mortal agony now and he didn't even shout at him.

What the hell do they want from him?

This question goes round and round in his head, but he can't find an answer. Did someone here really give him a drug that made him forget all those things? Did he discover something during his researches that he shouldn't have? What could that be?

"Come on. I need to show you something." Barker's harsh voice rips him out of his thoughts. The man grips Rick's arm and drags his weak body into another room. There are two men behind them, apparently to prevent Rick from escaping, but this wasn't really necessary given his current condition. He wouldn't have gotten far anyway.

* * *

"Kate, I really don't know if this is a good - "

"Lanie, we discussed that. My decision is made. I'll do _anything_ in my power to find him. It's the least I can do. I can't go and look for him and even if I knew where he was, I couldn't get him out of there with my damn cast. So I have to do everything I can to find him and send help his way. You know that." Kate says with emphasis.

"Of course I know that, honey. But we can't do it here, I don't have the medical education or the equipment for such a -"

"You told me yesterday you could call a friend from medical school. Did you call him?"

"Kate, it's too dangerous to go to him. We can't leave this apartment. You heard what Captain Montgomery said." Lanie answers carefully, holding her hands up.

"Did you call him?" Kate asks again, with more force in her voice, her eyes narrowed to slits.

"Yeah, I called him."

"And what did he say?"

"Kate, I'm not one of your suspects. Don't treat me like one. I'm your friend and I just want to keep you safe." Lanie rises her voice now, standing her ground.

"I – I know, Lanie. I'm sorry. But -" Kate looks away from her friend and bites her lip.

"But what?"

"Promise me you'll never tell anyone. I do care for him, Lanie. I have to get him back. The investigation has come to a standstill – I might be the only one who can save him now. I wouldn't risk it if there was another option." Kate answers, still not looking at the woman standing in front of her, trying to hide her pink cheeks.

"Okay, fine. We can meet Amelios tonight in the Day Surgery Unit he works."

"Amelios?"

"So? He's Greek. But trust me, he was always the best of all of us at medical school. I just have to call him to confirm that we're coming and he'll call me back when everyone else is gone."

"Sounds like a plan." Kate answers, but the pleased feeling just won't come. There is too much at stake, too much to lose. She just hopes that this Amelios knows what he's doing.

* * *

Baker brought Rick into a small room with a window through which he can see into the adjacent room. He can just give his tormentor a questioning look. What is he supposed to do here? Barker told him that they'd have to turn to even more drastic methods to trigger his memory. He doesn't really want to think about what he could have meant with that.

"Take a seat, Mr Castle. And enjoy the show." Barker tells him with a syrupy voice which is an extreme contrast to his dark, cold eyes.

The hulk takes a step back after Rick sat down on the only chair in the room and grins. He must enjoy this immensely, much to Ricks discomfort. If it brings him so much joy, it must be hell breaking loose for himself.


End file.
